


'cause I remember the rush, when forever was us (before all of the winds of regret and mistrust)

by thequeendom



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abused Harry, Abusive Relationships, Car Accidents, Clingy Harry Styles, Crying, Crying Harry, Crying Louis, First Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson are Childhood Friends, Harry is a Little Shit, I guess that's how far the smut goes, I usually write smut i dont know what to add, I'm not a medical person, Kissing, Lots of it, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, Louis is lovely, M/M, Married Couple, Married Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Memory Loss, Sad, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Tears, They're divorced now, and he miss louis, but harry's husband is shit, but i try to skip those scenes, he thinks he's still married to louis, it's not larry, kinda like the movie the vow, not larry though, not really - Freeform, that's how far his memory goes, this is a sad fic but not really bc my writing is bad, warning for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-05-28 09:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19391053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeendom/pseuds/thequeendom
Summary: Harry suffers from severe memory loss after a car accident.Due to losing the last four years of his life, all he remembers is being married to his ex husband and being madly in love with him.Or the one like the movie The Vow but Louis is Harry's first love and the one he remembers is the one harder to let go when he doesn't remember ever letting go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I'm very nervous about posting this, I never post something like this before but I'm here with a new fic and this time, it's not smutty at all. I still hope y'all like this side of me though ahahaa.
> 
> WARNINGS : Harry is in an abusive relationship, of course I cut the scene but I feel better giving everyone's a heads up.
> 
> Also, if there's a whole paragraph with italics, that means Harry's having flashbacks and they're going to happen alot through out the fic. :D 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> P.S Title is from hard feelings/loveless by lorde. :)

Harry sat silently in his dining table with his fingers entwined with each other, resting his chin on it. He’s waiting for his husband before he starts dinner.

And he’s also thinking, he had so much to think about.

He couldnt now stop thinking when his head kept asking him the same thing for the last six months; _why am I still here?_

Harry’s trapped. He can’t even ask his mother or sister for help. _No_. He refused to drag them along his misery. Not that they can do anything anyways, his husband will find out and it’s too risky. 

The worst thing was, sometimes he wonders if life would’ve been so much better if he just stayed back home with his first husband. But no, he can’t think of him anymore. It’s a few years back and that man was clearly glad Harry’s out of his life.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a car going in their garage. He’s home. Time to put on his best fake smile, pushing his thoughts of his past life out of his head and be a good husband. 

“Hi,” Harry greeted when his husband enters the dining room. He looked exhausted, Harry hates it when he comes home ten times worse than he usually look after a long day at work. This was one of those days. 

He dropped his briefcase on the floor before joining Harry, sitting across from him as Harry slide his plate of pasta. “I made your favorite.” Harry smiled, sweetly.

As usual, he ignored Harry and dug into the food Harry made. Harry wondered when was the last time they had a meaningful conversation. It was probably back before their wedding. Nothing ever felt right since they were married.

But even though things are bad as this, Harry wished he would talk to him. 

So of course, like he always had to, he starts the conversation. “How’s work today?”

Dean shot his eyes at his husband- Harry doesn’t want to get on his bad side, so Harry always makes sure to not ask anything too personal. “Why do you care?” He scoffed then continue to finish his food, Harry hasn’t even started his.

“Of course I care.” Harry frowned. “I’m your husband.”

He feels like he needs to remind Dean every five minutes or the man would forgot that they’re married. 

“You only married me for my money.” Dean spat before standing up, leaving Harry alone to clean his plate for him. 

He always say this to the point it doesn’t hurt Harry anymore. How could he said that, he doesn’t even let Harry go near his credit card and he doesn’t even let Harry get a job, he was holding Harry hostage.

After eating just enough to fill his stomach, Harry cleaned the table after him and Dean. He knows Dean is probably up in their room, showering or on his phone. He had so much business to deal with that coming home doesn’t mean he’s off working hours. 

“Harry!” He heard his name being called from upstairs, he quickly washed his hands before going up the stairs to their room. Dean doesn’t like to wait and Harry knows better than to make him wait. He doesn’t want to deal with the consequences.

When he made it upstairs he found Dean sprawled on their bed, naked. One hand working on his semi hard cock. “Come here, baby.” Harry hissed at the sweet endearment he only use them with Harry when he’s aroused. It bothers Harry more than anything.

And Harry wanted to tell him no but he can’t- not when he knows what could happen if he said no to his husband.

So Harry crawled into bed, immediately Dean attacked his lips with Harry. Harry doesn’t bother, he never does. As far as he’s concerned he’s less of a husband to this man and more of a fuck toy.

Hell, he doesn’t even treat Harry like he’s human.

\--

Leave. He needs to leave and he need to do it now. 

Because now was the perfect time. Dean was all worn out and asleep next to him, his back was facing Harry after he finished coming inside the boy.

Harry held back his tears from the pain that was coming from his lower back. This happens way too often now and he’s tired.

He’s tired of getting hurt emotionally and physically, he’s tired of trying to work things out with his husband only for him to use him like he had no feelings.

But all that is going to end. Harry prepared this for the last two months and he’s ready. He’s ready to finally escape his husband and he prayed to the universe that Dean won’t find him. So his plan was not to go home to his mum. His plan was America.

It always has been before Dean came along. He promised Harry that he’ll get him working with the best record deals, he promised Harry so much things only for him to fall into his trap and marry him. Did he ever once promote Harry? Probably not. 

He was just a prey to Dean and nothing more.

Their wedding- which was small- not even their families came. It was just them and a couple of Dean’s mates when they were visiting vegas. Both too drunk to come to their senses and married each other.

But Harry took their marriage seriously because like all marriage should be, it should be sacred but Dean didn’t. Two months after their wedding, he made it clear that Harry wasn’t a good enough singer and that’s why no labels wanted him yet. Everything Dean said broke his heart and he thought maybe Dean was right. Maybe he’s better here, as Dean’s husband and nothing more.

All those thoughts are long gone now. Harry needs to escape. His luggage was prepared in the back of his car and his flight ticket was saved in his wallet along with the money he’d been saving for months from changes from the groceries or any time Dean was too busy to be with Harry, he’d just throw him a couple of bills and tell him to fuck off. 

Making sure Dean was in deep sleep, he fought his own pain and put on a fresh pair of shirt and jeans along with a thick coat. He makes sure not to make a possible sounds as he grabbed his car keys and left his room. 

Right now is the perfect chance. He had enough saved enough money, his flight is tomorrow and Dean was in deep slumber. 

He left his wedding ring on top of their dining table alongside with his phone. He doesn’t know how Dean will react from this, if he’ll ever find out, but the next time he sees Harry, Harry will be singing across america and he’d have more bodyguards to protect him from Dean. He wasn’t scared of what was coming. He was scared if he stayed. 

\--

The road was dark and empty. It was four in the morning after all but he expected London to be much more crowded than this at four. But it was a work night, so. 

It was also raining. Nothing new, it was always raining around here but the thing was, it wasn’t just a little drizzle. There was a storm going on outside his car and maybe that’s the reason not alot of people are wandering the streets of London. 

Harry could make a stop somewhere considering the road was getting dark, looks like the street was in a blackout due to the storm. But he was still in the area and he doesn’t want to risk getting caught by Dean. What if he’s awake and already looking for Harry?!

The boy had left his phone and all his gadgets at home, worried that Dean might be able to track him down. It’s fine, he can buy a new phone with a new number once he makes it to america.

20 minutes later and he almost makes it to the airport! He’s so close. By tomorrow he’ll be in America, Dean long forgotten and if he ever try to get close to Harry again.

Then his mind wanders to his first husband and how none of this had to happen if he just stays home. He was warned and all but he didn’t listen, he wanted the divorce, he wanted to move to London with Dean and it got him to where he is today; escaping the country.

Nothing was stopping him. Absolutely nothing- his thoughts were interrupted when he heard a loud honk- then he squints his eyes due to the brightness in front of him, something was coming closer to him- closer and closer and-

And his life flashes before his eyes, his mum, first day of school, his parents divorce, fighting over a cup of pudding with Gemma, his mum’s wedding with Robin, middle school and his friends, high school and having reckless nights, and then Louis. Louis’ lips against his, getting caught under the bleachers, Louis’ wedding vows, Louis soft voice, repeatedly reminding him of how much he loves him, Louis- Louis. Louis, Louis, Louis. 

\--

_“Jesus Christ, get a room!” He heard Niall’s familiar accent, making him pull away from Louis’ lips. Louis was as annoyed as he was when he saw their three mates walking towards them._

_The downside of dating your best friend is not only are you dating him, but you’re also dating your mutual friends. Your favorite spot with him becomes your favorite spot with them._

_But Harry loves his friends as much as he loves Louis. He just wished they didn’t have to interrupt their short make out session. Any other time but this!_

_“We’re just making sure you two aren’t making babies down here.” Zayn grinned, sitting down on the grass._

_They were under the bleachers in the school’s football field. Harry likes to come here after Louis’ practice to get some alone time with him. But his mates will join sooner or later. Usually when Zayn started to get bored because Harry’s off with Louis and the other two had just finished their footie practice with Louis._

_“It doesn’t matter, Zayn, we’ll make babies when we’re home anyways.” Louis grinned making Liam turned to him in disgust._

_None of them needed to hear that._

_Harry blushes at Louis’ words, tugging his hand to join their friends who was making a circle, seated on the soft grass. Zayn was already rolling a blunt. This was like a routine for them after school, Harry would get a five, ten minutes tops with Louis before their mates came and roll a blunt. Then they would start pouring their heart out about whatever they were having trouble with._

_Like Liam’s issue for the week had been about his science project and how his science partner refused to work together only because his ex girlfriend broke up with him because she had a crush on Zayn and that Liam was friends with Zayn._

_“Sorry Liam, what can I say?” Zayn smirked passing the hand-rolled to Niall. “I’m irresistible.”_

_Liam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well now you gotta help me with the project.”_

_“I’ll help you, payno, calm down.” Louis grinned at his best friend. Louis was known to be good in a few subjects and how lucky was Harry to have a smart boyfriend who’s also his senior in school._

_Liam sighed in relief. “What will I do when we’re all parted for uni?”_

_“Don’t be a daft,” Niall scoffed. “Texting exists.”_

_University. That scares Harry to his bones. Louis was going to leave him for uni and even though Louis kept telling him that they’ll in contact, he was scared shitless of losing his soulmate._

_“You’re 16, what do you know about soulmates?” Gemma used to say whenever he rants to Gemma about Louis leaving for college._

_He knows everything about soulmates when he looks at Louis. Doesn’t matter how young he was. He’s sure Louis is the one._

_But said soulmate was going to study in London. London! Harry can’t drive to London everyday! And texting him or calling him won’t be the same._

_Not to mention that all three of his mates were also leaving. This is what Harry gets for hanging out with people two years above his level. Wasn’t it?_

_But for now, everything was good. Everything felt right. Life was good._

_\--_

_Harry ignores all the sounds that were asking him if he was ready for this. He’d been ignoring them since he got engaged anyways._

_He’s only 18, yes. But he was sure of the man standing in front of the aisle. Harry’s never been sure of anything or anyone in his whole life._

_Louis felt right. After all, Louis is home._

_He watched the man standing in front of him pulled out a piece of crumpled paper, the edges were curled and it looked like it’s been in Louis’ pocket for days- which was impossible because he only have been wearing the suit for a few hours now._

_Louis wrote his own vows like he promised Harry he would. “Alright, I’m not good with words so don’t make fun.” Louis joked, the people laughs- Harry almost forgot that there are actual people in his wedding, he’d been to focused on Louis for too long. “Harry- Harold, my light, my best friend, the love of my life, my home.” He looked up from the paper to locked eyes with Harry._

_“I promise from this day forward, no matter what it is you want to do, where you wanna go, you’ll never walk alone. I promise whatever it is you’re gonna go through, I will be right next to you. I promise you, no matter what we’re dealing with, I’ll hold your hand never let go, we’ll go through storms and sunshines together, we’ll survive our ups and downs with each other and I promise to love you with everything in me, to support your decisions and to always make room for you in my heart so that you can rest there and call it home.” Then he grinned. “And to leave frogs alone and I won’t try to dissect them.”_

_He laughed then, his thoughts went back to his middle school self fighting over a frog’s life with Louis._

_He’s in love with a fucking sap. “And I really want to kiss you right now, so, Liam? Hurry it up, please?”_

_The crowd laughs again, Harry’s crying now- happy tears mixed with laughter. He found his soulmate at 16, married him at 18 and nothing was scaring him. He wants the rest of his life with Louis. Only Louis._

_“Do_ _you, Harry Edward Styles take Louis William Tomlinson as your lawful spouse, until death do you part?" Liam, who volunteer to be their pronouncement since both his best friends got the best man role; Zayn is Harry’s and Niall is Louis’, he wanted to participate just as important as the two._

_Louis mouthed something, Harry tried not to laugh because he was obviously mouthing “Harold” as to correct him even though that wasn’t even his name to begin with._

_“I do.” Harry finally said, biting his lip to avoid laughing in front of their whole family and friends._

_Nothing felt more right to Harry right now. Everything felt right even though after this, they’re probably going to be apart again because Louis lives in London and had a few more years to finish school while Harry was still looking for a university and he’s trying so hard, so hard to find one in London so he could become one with Louis again._

_But that’s later problem, right now, everything was perfect._

_\--_

_“That’s the last box.” Louis pants as he dropped the box containing their bedsheets and covers._

_Harry couldn’t believe that at the age of 20 he and Louis had bought a house, sure it was going to be hell of a Loan to pay the bank back but this feels right. A house of their own in Manchester._

_After two years of marriage, being separated for going to universities in different parts of england; they were finally one again._

_Louis got a job in Manchester a month before his graduation ceremony, it had been five months of him working there and he’s sure Harry’s small flat is too small to start a home- to start a family. To finally starts everything the two had been waiting for._

_So he took out a loan, bought a four rooms, three bathrooms house because they know they want at least three children. And this house, it was everything they bought ever wanted. But kids could wait, Harry should be able to finish his last two years in university._

_“I can’t wait to decorate it!” Harry dropped himself onto the sofa that was out of place, they weren’t sure where they wanted to put it yet. “But that can wait, I’m exhausted.”_

_Louis joined him on the sofa, and as if on cue, Harry scoot closer, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder. “I’m so glad we’re finally here, we did it, Lou.” Harry looked up to his husband, his hand went to reach Louis’ playing with the wedding ring on his finger. “We finally found home.”_

_“Don’t be silly, Harold. I’ve found home long ago.” Louis smirked, leaning down to press his lips against Harry’s. When he pulled away, Harry wanted to whine from the lost of contact but then Louis said. “I found home when I was 18, didn’t I? When I saw you sitting alone in the lunchroom?”_

_Harry’s cheeks started to burn. “Shut up.”_

_“Make me,” Louis grinned but Harry took that as a challenge and leaned in to have another kiss, chasing the taste of Louis lips he always long for, even when they’re together._

_At least he shuts up now._

_\--_

_University isn't getting easier. Everything is frustrating Harry and his attention always goes back to his youtube channel, watching his views increase._

_“Love, don’t you have an exam tomorrow?” Louis asked when he’s home. He’s home late again._

_Louis was an architecture, if Harry wasn’t wrong he was working on a model for a new mall in Manchester. His job was stressful, Harry’s school was stressful everything at the moment felt stressful._

_“Yeah, but check this out, Lou.” Harry looked up from his laptop. “I got over ten thousands views on my latest cover!”_

_His husband leaned down to see his laptop screen, smiling softly when he saw his husband on the screen singing to “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain. That song was played in their wedding, Niall, Liam and Zayn sung it for them. Said it’s the song that reminds them of Louis and Harry the most._

_“I’m very proud of you, love.” Louis kissed the top of Harry’s head. “Maybe singing is your true calling after all.”_

_Harry perked up at that. “Yeah? You think so?”_

_Louis nodded. “Yeah, you have that rockstar vibes all over you.” He ruffled Harry’s curls, smiling fondly at his husband. “I don’t mind being your groupie.”_

_“You better.” Harry stood up, following Louis into their bedroom. “I won’t be so fond if you became someone else’s groupie.”_

_His husband snorted. “Who would want me to be their groupie?”_

_“Sam Smith?” Harry shrugged with a stupid smile plastered on his voice. “But he’s not getting his hands anywhere near my husband.”_

_“I don’t want his hands near me anyways,” Louis pulled his husband closer, leaning down to give him a proper kiss this time._

_God, he loves Louis._

_He was uncertain about so many things in life, his career, his major, fuck shit, he didn’t realize he hates fashion designing until he studies it, and mostly everything but he’s sure of Louis. Always has been and always will be._

_Louis was the stability of his life._

_His home._

_His always._

_Louis, Louis Louis Louis, Louis._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think of this so far! :D
> 
> Should I continue or nah? 
> 
> The merrier the comments the faster the update <3 
> 
> -Sylv xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE that I don't know anything medical related or much about severe memory loss but this is a fic just pretends this makes sense if you think it doesn't heheheheh please don't hate me i'm doing my best :)))

Louis, Louis and Louis. Nothing else was in his mind. Absolutely nothing. 

Louis’ lips, his soft hands, the smell of his cologne, the way he laughs, the way he rolled his eyes when Harry told him another joke, his voice, especially when he’s saying Harry’s name or sweet endearments that was directed to him-

“Please wake up,” There it was, the voice. “Please Harry, it’s been 11 days, I gotta-”

“Lou?” Harry slowly opens his eyes, squinting when the bright light hits his face, he turns to his side to find Louis seated next to him, his hands were squeezing Harry’s.

But the hand left him when he woke up, standing up straight and leaned down to face Harry, he looked shocked, and not just that, he looked different. “Harry? You’re awake? Oh, thank fuck!” Louis sighed in relief. “I’ll find a nurse, I’ll-” Then he reached for a button next to Harry on the bed, pressing it.

A nurse? Why did he need a nurse? He looked at his surroundings, white walls, the small bed, a machine beeping next to him- A hospital ! what was he doing in a hospital?!

“Lou?” He called again. “You- you-”

“I know, I’m surprised as well when I got the call.” He chuckled, sitting back down. “But apparently, you still keep my number in your wallet? You know the one in the back of our picture and you wrote ‘In case of emergency’ on it.”

Harry furrowed his brows. “Why wouldn’t I kept it?” He asked, confusedly. “I mean- what I’m going to say was; you look different.” Dare he say it? “You look _old._ ” He dared. “But not a bad kind of old! And not like forty years old-old.” Harry was blabbering. “Like twenty seven years old-old.”

Louis nodded. “Right. Maybe it’s because I don’t know- I am twenty seven?”

What?! How was Louis twenty seven?! He’s twenty three and turning twenty four this december, which is two months from now- Harry wanted to ask when someone barge into the room. Her uniform was telling him that she’s the nurse Louis called.

“He’s awake,” Louis looked up to the nurse. He said it like it wasn’t surprising, but he was surprised over something else- how old does Harry thinks he is?!

The nurse thank Louis for informing her, then she went to check on Harry, Harry’s heartbeat and his blood pressure, she also called another nurse to go fetch the doctor. Louis stood a few feet away and waited. He hoped this won’t take long, he had missed so much work for this. 

  


\--

“Everything seemed fine apart from your bruises but don’t worry, It’ll take a few more days or weeks but they’ll heal and you’ll be fine. It’s a good thing you were wearing seatbelts that your body survived.” Dr. Wales smiled at Louis then at Harry. “But then again, there’s your head, which says from the police report, your airbag did not activate during the crash hence the injury on your head; I checked your X-ray a few days back, you could be suffering from a brain damage but other than that you’re fine.”

Louis nods, he doesn’t look concerned but Harry knows Louis always keeps a tough face for show. “How do we know if he’s suffering from the damage though?”

“Well, our first concern is memory loss, of course, so I'll ask him a couple of questions, nothing’s too hard, just basic information about himself I’ve got based from his passport and a few others I assume you know the answer to.”

Louis knows mostly anything about Harry, he can participate in this.

Then she turns to Harry. “Alright, Harry, are you ready to start?”

“Wait before we start, how’d we end up here?” Harry asked because they seemed to forgot to tell Harry about how he’s been in a coma for eleven days.

Louis answered for him. “C-car accident.”

Car accident?! Where was he going?! That explains why Dr. Wales talked about how lucky he is for wearing seat belts but he doesn’t remember going out for a car ride. 

“Let’s start, shall we?” Dr. Wales cleared her throat. “Harry,it says here your birth date is on the first of february.”

Harry nods. “On 1994, yeah, I’m turning 22 in four months.”

Dr. Wales’ jaw dropped just as Louis’ eyes widen, they glance at each other before looking back at Harry. 

“Harry, my dear, can you tell me the year?”

Harry wanted to roll his eyes, why was this question necessary. “2015? Why is this question relevant?”

“Holy fuck.” Louis cussed, Harry turned to him- what was he on about now?! Oh! That’s when Harry remembered what Louis said earlier- about being twenty seven.

He had to dig up on that. “Yeah, it’s why I said you look old.” Harry snorted. “You can’t just age a few years after eleven days, Louis.”

But Louis nor Dr. Wales said anything. 

Is something wrong?  


“Mr. Tomlinson, I’m afraid I have to do a couple tests on Harry.” She told him. “If you’d excuse us for just a moment.”

Louis nodded, agreeing. “Yeah, I’ll- I’ll be right outside.” He looked stunned, why was all this such a big deal?! Is his broken neck not more of a big deal?!

\--

Everything was making Louis tensed up. Why did this have to happen when he’s in London? It’s like Harry knew he was in town and wanted to see him somehow so he got himself into an accident- no, that wasn’t like Harry. Harry would never hurt himself and he would never try to get in contact with Louis. He knows the boy had too much pride to do that.

The worst part was, he had no one else to watch Harry, Anne and Gemma was in Ghana, raising awareness or something, they were device-free as well as it says on Anne’s instagram two weeks ago. But Supposedly, they’ll come back this Sunday and he can finally go home while the two take over. 

Liam just had his new born baby meaning he can’t leave home to see Harry, Zayn was somewhere in other parts of the world, travelling while Niall is back in Ireland, taking over his father’s business which he can’t leave for more than three days.

Not only them but he heard Harry re-married, but Harry never talks about the said husband on any social medias and Harry had no phone with him according to the hospital when they called Louis and said they got his number from Harry’s wallet.

He had no choice but to look over the boy- the boy who fucking thinks it’s 2015 and- oh shit. 2015?! They were still together in 2015! Fuck, so that must mean, that- 

“Mr. Tomlinson?” Dr. Wales called from Harry’s door, breaking Louis’ thoughts. “May I have a word with you?”

\--  


Severe memory loss. 

Harry’s suffering from severe memory loss and there’s a chance he won’t get his memory back. At least not all of them.

Fuck. “No, no, you don’t understand.” Louis tried explaining when Dr. Wales said it was best that Harry returns to his normal everyday routine. “We aren’t together anymore, I don’t- I don’t know where he lives now and I know nothing about him.”

Dr. Wales looked concerned more than anything, all of Harry’s data goes back to their house in Manchester- Louis’ house now. There was no track of a new husband, not even pictures in his wallet and worst part was he didn’t have a phone.

“What about his parents?” She suggested.

Louis knows what’s best now it to come to Anne, she must’ve known who Harry’s new husband was. “They’re out of the country.” Louis mumbled. “They- there’s no way to contact them till they get back but they’ll be here in a few days.”

She nodded, understandingly. “Well, he knows no one right now except you and Harry’s able to go home in a few days, if it’s okay with you, I think it’s best if he comes home with you?”

And can Louis say no to that?! No, of course not. Harry was lost. He remembers nothing of the present or the last four years. He’s sure they can figure this out, they’ll find Harry’s husband, where he lives now and figure out why Harry was headed to the airport at four in the morning. 

\--

Days passed and Harry’s finally allowed to leave the hospital. Louis doesn’t visit as often as when he was still in a coma, mainly because he wanted to give Harry space to may be remember the present.

But Harry thinks Louis had been distant to him ever since he woke up and called him old. He’s not mad at Harry for losing memory, is he?

When he comes though it was only to drop off some meals and clothes that were given to Louis from a luggage that supposedly belong to Harry they found in the car the day of the accident.

“I’m so happy to finally be out of there.” Harry grinned from ear to eat, walking over to Louis’ car in the parking lot and out of habit he went and reach for Louis’ hand- Louis doesn’t flinch. 

Not until Harry starts rubbing his fingers with his thumb like he used to do- when there was a ring on it.

“What happened to your ring?” Harry asked, stopping on his track.

Fuck. No one told him yet- he hasn’t told him yet! This was his responsibility but he was scared he’d make Harry feel even worse if he told him first hand after he woke up.

But now seems alright, right?

“Harry, we-” Louis looked down to his shoes, then up to the sky, then finally back at Harry. Fuck, he feels bad to tell Harry this but he has to! It’s only fair. “We’re divorced.”

There was a long pause- they just stood there in the parking lot, letting the sun burned their skin because Harry was still trying to process that information in his head.

“No,” Harry shakes his head, finally breaking the silence. “But we- how? What?” Here comes the tears, no, no, Harry had already cried enough, he doesn’t remember but Louis does and it hurts to see him at this state again. “Why would we- what did I do?!”

Louis frowned upon hearing Harry’s words. Even though the divorce was Harry’s choice but the fact that he’s blaming himself right now when he doesn’t remember anything made Louis felt nothing but guilt.   


“I’ll explain on the way home? It’s a long ride back home, I still live in Manchester.” Louis took his hand but Harry flinched, looking down at his own fingers, realizing there’s no ring on his finger as well.

And fuck- no ring as well?! No, no- this can’t be happening! Louis and him were the power couple. They were undefeated as Zayn would say. 

“Do you still have my ring?” Harry asked, looking up to Louis.

Louis gulped because the answer was- “Yeah.” He confirmed. “It’s back at my place.”

\--

Harry was stunned when he’s in the car because this wasn’t the car he remembered, also where was the car he had the accident in?! Is no one looking over that car?!

“Where’s my car?” Harry broke the silence. “The one I was in the accident in?”

Louis’ eyes were focused on the road but he heard Harry. “It’s in the repair shop, I gave them my number.” He told Harry. “Once it’s done, we can pick it up here, yeah? But I got a job to go back to, can’t stay here forever.”

Harry processed that into his head, he’s here in London when the accident happened, meaning he moved to London?! “Are you still working for Stride?”

“Yeah,” Louis proudly, says. “Got promoted twice since 2015 actually.”

That put a smile on Harry’s face. “Aw, congratulations. You deserve it after all the hard work you did, you know?” Harry can’t help but to wonder. “What about me? What’s my job?”

Louis tried to go back to four years ago, where Harry was- right, fashion design school. The one Harry hated so much. “You dropped out of uni.”

Harry gasped. “No way!”

“You did,” Louis chuckled. “You wanted to focus on your singing career.”

“Did I make it far with it then?” Harry asked, enthusiastically.

Louis bit his bottom lip, chewing it- giving some time before replying. “I don’t know.”

Oh. Was that how far their marriage went?! When exactly had they been divorced?! Was Louis seeing anyone right now? Fuck, what about himself, was he seeing anyone?! Also, if he’s famous wouldn’t there be news all over about his accident?! Maybe he hasn’t make it far after all. Well, that’s shit.

“Can we talk about the divorce?” Harry braced himself to ask. He deserves to know what happened between them.

Louis just nods, eyes still on the road. 

“How long has it been?” Harry wonders because seeing the man next to him right now, though he looks so much older than Harry remembers, Harry still feels nothing but love for him.

But Louis had nothing to hide, Harry deserves to know the whole truth. “It’s only been about a year and a half, I think.”

“What happened?” Harry was frowning now, his own wedding vows replayed in his head. He meant everything he said, he’s sure there was nothing that could change his mind. 

Louis hates talking about the divorce, he hates reliving it, especially when he had to explain it to the person he had a divorce with. “You met this guy, he wanted to be your manager and I don’t know what you talked about on the phone but the next thing I know you were asking for a divorce because I was holding you back-” Louis stopped, thinking of better words to put it together. “Which made no sense to me because I would never hold you back.” He chuckled, nervously. “A few fights later I realized you just wanted an out.” Oh no. “So I gave you an out.”

\--

_“Lou, this is stupid.” Harry glared at his husband, stomping into their room which made Louis look up from his laptop “This is my room too! I can’t believe you’re making me feel like a stranger in my own house!”_

_Louis took off his glasses, still staring at his angry husband and how bad he wants to pull Harry in for a hug right now and ask if he wants to sleep in here tonight because he missed having Harry asleep beside him._

_Fuck, he can’t even sleep without Harry next to him, let alone what a divorce will do to him._

_“No one told you that you can’t come in here, love.” Louis tried, he always tried. He’s been trying for the whole weekend now and it’s monday again and he has work to focus on and he thought by now Harry will drop his act, apologize and come back to bed with him, but no._

_The room was dimmed but Louis could tell Harry was on the edge of tears, why does this have to happen between the?_

_“You’re impossible.” Harry finally said while going through his clothes, he wanted to change after the whole day being outside, he’s surprised Louis is still awake. “We’re over, I’m not sleeping here with you.”_

_Louis frowned, he hates that Harry had to brought that up. He hates that Harry is the one who wanted the divorce, acts like Louis is at fault, and still has the guts to stay here. He said it’s only until his manager found him a flat in London and Louis would do anything to still have him around._

_“Well, if you change your mind, your side of the bed is empty.” Louis said as he closes his laptop, placing it on top of his nightstand as well as his glasses._

_He lies on his side, not turning off the nightlight yet because Harry’s still there and he knows how much Harry hates standing in pure darkness._

_“No, thank you.” Harry said it rather sarcastically then he heard footsteps followed by the slammed door._

_Harry left the room, once again, preferring their guest room than sleeping with Louis._

_\--_

Fuck. Who was he in years from now?! “Lou,” He was crying again, why was he even crying, he doesn’t remember any of this! “Lou, I’m so sorry.”

“It was the best for both of us, wasn’t it?” Louis tried to smile.

But Harry doesn’t know how to answer that. So he stopped talking. He also tries not to cry but fuck, Louis and him are divorced. He divorced the man he loves with his all!

Louis made a turn to a McDonald's when he sees one, they could make a stop and go eat for a while, especially with the tensions they got from each other in the car.

“It’s funny how you live in Manchester now while I live in London.” Harry said between stuffing his fries into his mouth. “Remember when I was chasing universities in London to be with you but that didn’t work out so after you graduated you apply to any possible jobs in Manny for the sake of me.” He smiled. “But now I live in London again, not that I remember where I live, and you got a great job in Manchester!”

Having Harry stays over in his house is going to be so hard. Because just looking at him now, god, Louis miss him more than anything. But no, Harry’s married to someone else! He has to remind himself that- “You got remarried.” Louis blurted. Oh fuck.

Harry looked up, confused. “I did?”

“Yeah, but I don’t-” Louis clicked his tongue. “I don’t know your new husband and you don’t have any pictures or information of him and I promise I’ll drive you back to London when we found him.”

What?! So he wasn’t moving back in with Louis?! This was going to be a temporary thing till they figured something out. He understands that they’re divorced now but he hasn’t thought of it until now, that this is going to be temporary and he’ll have to move in with a man he doesn’t know!

\--

_Louis was half asleep when he heard his door squeaked opened followed by the sound of someone sniffing. He looked up to see Harry standing by the door, crying silently._

_“Hey, what’s wrong, babe?” Louis asked and watched Harry walks in, closing the door behind him before he climbs on the bed, the smell of alcohol lingers on him and oh, he’s been drinking._

_But that doesn’t excuse anything, Harry is still crying! So he had to pull Harry into his arms, trying to calm him down._

_“Lou,” He whimpered, accepting the hug, resting his head on his husband’s shoulder, looking up to him in the dark room. “We’re going to be apart.”_

_Yes, as if Louis doesn’t already knew that. “For the sake of your dream, right? So it’ll be fine, darling.”_

_Harry shakes his head, no. “I mean, you-you and I, divorced, over, separated.”_

_Louis frowns upon hearing those words, he knows Harry’s too drunk to remember this in the morning and he’ll probably go on and on again about how much he can’t wait for the divorce to be final but for now, Louis hugged him closer. “You know we aren’t exactly divorced yet, the paper’s not here yet and we can always calls it quits.”_

_“I can’t call it quits!” He argued but relaxed on Louis’ shoulder more._

_Louis knows where this is going, by morning, Harry will be so pissed that he’s in bed with Louis, screaming at him about it while holding back tears because deep down he doesn’t want to scream at his husband nor does he wants a divorced._

_And who was Louis to hold him back when he made it clear that this was his dream and he’ll risk anything; they just never thought he’d risk his own marriage._

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy that!
> 
> Comments and kudos will be very much appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

The house is one of the familiar things that has been in his life so far. It’s their old house, nothing was new except the fresh paint though it was the same color as Harry remembers. Louis has a new sofa and telly, he sees.

And all the pictures of them were down. Replaced with random pictures that comes with the frame, all of the frames were new as well.

“Love with what you’ve done to the kitchen.” Harry looked around the familiar kitchen, everything looks new- the fridge, the dining table but it was their kitchen. It feels like home, still. 

Louis looked around the kitchen then, he never really paid much attention to it. Not since the divorce, at least. “Actually you redecorated it.” Louis told him, honestly. “About two years ago.”

“Well, am I or am I not a great interior design?” Harry laughed to himself.

When they bought the house, it was barely holding together, they had to renovate alot of it which Louis didn’t mind doing, he said getting to design his own house this time was fun and Harry helped alot with the interiors. They were a team. 

“Right, so I gotta check my emails.” Louis announced. “Make yourself at home.”

Louis left him then, Harry was frowning upon his words, of course this place felt like home. It’s the closest Harry felt at home than any other place right now.

After an hour or so wandering around their- Louis’ house, trying to see what’s changed and what’s not, there’s not really much of a difference which was a good thing because he wasn’t ready to see if Louis got a new wallpaper in the family room or renovate the bathrooms- then his feet made its way into Louis’ office, he was there, eyes glued to his laptop and his back was facing the door so he didn’t notice Harry walked in until he cleared his throat.

Louis turned around, almost forgotten that Harry was in the house with him. “Do you need anything?” Louis asked, trying to think of the last time Harry took his meds, it was after they had lunch at McDonald's earlier so he’s not supposed to take them again until after dinner. That’s probably not why Harry’s in here though.

“No, I’m just bored.” He shrugged, sitting down on the loveseat in his office, it’s the same one as Harry remembered, he used to fall asleep on it while he’s waiting for Louis to come to bed with him. “Any news about my husband yet?”

Louis sighed. “No, nothing.” This was stupid, how is there no track of Harry and his new husband?! Why isn’t there a ring?! Is there even a new husband or did the Harry before the accident just wanted to piss Louis off and told Gemma that he remarried and Gemma told him.

“Do you think if I log into my social medias, there’s a chance I could find him, you know, facebook messages or anything.” 

Well, that’s a good idea Louis didn’t thought of. And maybe that could work so Louis nods and turned back to his laptop, opening a new tab and go on facebook, logging out his account and gestured Harry to come forward.

Harry didn’t. “You know my password.” He said it in a matter of fact tone. 

“I..don’t?” That came out more of a question than a statement. “I mean, I know your password from the last time you live here but-” Louis and Harry trusts each other more than anything, they don’t go on each other phone or email or anything to snoop on each other or somewhat, they just trust each other that much to share their passwords with one another. But that was  _ before _ everything. 

Harry’s eyes widen. “Well, I remember my 21 years old self password!” Which was worse because they both know that Harry changes his password at least every six months.

Louis always told him that wasn’t necessary and no one would waste their time trying to get into Harry’s social medias but Harry always said he’s preparing for when he’s famous. Alright then. 

“Well, try the one you remember.” Harry was on his feet now, walking closer to Louis and his desk.

So Louis did, typing it in and Harry’s too slow to keep up with Louis’ fingers, he didn’t catch what was the password so he had to ask. “What is it?”

“Your pass? Uh, shut up lou, kale is better..” He laughs to himself, Harry smiles seeing him laugh, especially knowing his past self (or future self?) is the one making him laugh. “It’s an inside joke we had and we were arguing about kale the same time you decided you needed a new password.”

Harry likes that, like knowing nothing changed between them up until the divorce. Everything must’ve gone downhill ever since then.

They both watched Louis pressed enter only to be returned to the home page with the words  _ incorrect password _ on top of the log in bar. 

The smile on Harry’s face dropped. “Maybe you typed it wrong, are they all in lowercase? No space? No numbers? Maybe it’s Louis, not Lou?”

“I think you changed it.” Fuck. this is bad. Why didn’t Harry had phone with him?!

Harry felt loss now, because he had just lost access to his social medias. “Maybe we can try my email?” But they both knows Harry changed his email’s password just as often. Louis is going to try though. Anything to make Harry feel better. 

\--

Louis fried some frozen french fries and chicken nuggets for dinner, Harry was seated on the dinner table, his mind was still trying to figure out his new passwords.

They had spent hours trying to log into any social media or email and nothing works, everything changed and Harry remembered nothing.

“I’m sorry, this is all I have.” Louis returned with the food, placing one plate in front of Harry and the other in front of him. “I don’t eat at home much ever since- you know.”

Harry frowned at that, he remembers Louis loves Harry’s cooking, he’d come home late at night, looking for leftovers of whatever Harry made and now he relies on restaurant or fast food or whatever he was eating these days. 

“That’s alright,” Harry shouldn’t have ordered mcnuggets earlier if he knows Louis is going to feed him nuggets for dinner, but he’s not going to say anything, he already bothers Louis too much. “I can cook if you want me to, you know.” Harry suggested. “The doctor said I can’t drive for awhile but she didn’t say anything about cooking.”

Louis looked up at his ex husband, smiling. “The doctor also told you to get as much rest as you can.”

It was only day one of Harry’s return from the hospital and he’s already bored out of his mind! He can’t drive, he doesn’t want to annoy Louis and ask him to take him somewhere especially when Louis got a lot of catching up to do from work and he doesn’t have his phone nor his passwords! And now he can’t cook?!

“I won’t be exhausted from cooking, Lou.” Harry pointed out. “And we can’t live on nuggets forever.” He means- “I mean,  _ you  _ can’t live on nuggets forever.” There’s no forever for them, that’s the worst part.

They didn’t talk much during dinner. Louis isn’t much of a talker like he usually is. Maybe he didn’t want to overwhelm Harry or maybe since the divorce, they stopped talking completely. Hell, Harry can’t imagine not having Louis in his life. 

After dinner, Louis helped with the dirty dishes while he told Harry to take his medications and if he needs him, he’ll be in his office.

The Louis he knows is always working, but he feels like this Louis works much more. He feels bad that he had to interfere Louis’ life now.

Harry decided to watch the telly which was weird because he kept seeing the date and it kept reminding him that he lost four years of his life. What if those four years was his best years? Or worst? How is he ever going to know? Will he ever remember?

Getting bored with it, he decided to go upstairs again and into Louis’ office, he was in the middle of a phone call but he glances when he saw Harry enters.

The younger man made himself comfortable on the loveseat. The whole reason he had a loveseat was for Harry anyways.

He waited a couple more minutes before Louis said goodnight to the person on the other line, which seems to be his client. ‘Do you need anything?” Louis asked his ex husband the same thing he asked earlier.

Harry looked up, shaking his head, no. “Don’t have anything to do.”

Louis didn’t reply, he goes back to his laptop instead. The Louis he knew would have joined him on the loveseat, cuddling up with him and whenever Harry told him to go finish his work he would always said that work can wait.

But this Louis feels so distant. He feels like Louis is nothing but his caretaker since he woke up in a hospital room. This Louis doesn’t go on and on about his day, he doesn’t attack Harry with kisses and makes fun of him every chance he gets. This Louis falls out of love with him.

He never thought Louis could fall out of love with him. But here he is, suddenly four years older and his husband won’t talk to him unless it’s about something he needs, realizing that Louis isn’t crazily in love with him anymore.

“I’m going to bed,” Harry announced after ten minutes of just staring at Louis’ back. “Night, Lou.”

He stood on his feet, Louis doesn’t turn or even spare him a glance as he mumbled a goodnight. Harry tried not to feel bad that Louis is so cold with him, he kept telling himself somewhere in the last four years, he fucked up. 

His feet took him to their room, it only till Harry was in it that he realized it wasn’t their room anymore but it was Louis’. There was no pictures of them anywhere in the room, there’s no trace of Harry’s shirt hanging of the bed or on the chair, Harry’s favorite pillow was replaced with a newer one and the bed wasn’t made, when was the last time Louis was in here?!

Then his eyes were glued on their- Louis’ dresser and his eyes were fixed on two familiar rings. Oh fuck- fuck! Their wedding rings! Harry reached for his, he knows which one is his because he had Louis’ name engraved on the back of the ring while Louis had Harry’s.

A smile crawled up his face when he slipped it into this ring fingers, it fits perfectly. Just as Harry remembers it. He was lost staring at his own fingers that he didn’t notice Louis walked in.

“What are you doing?”

Harry jumped a little, turning around to face his husband. “I’m just- I’m sorry, I-” Louis doesn’t look mad or anything but he was surprised when his eyes landed on Harry’s finger that was wrapped around his ring finger. “Feels weird not wearing it.”

Harry loves rings, they both knew that. But he didn’t have any when he woke up and the hospital didn’t give him or Louis anything he might wore the night of the accident except his watch. So they assumed he wasn’t wearing any, because if he did they’d return it along with said watch.

“This is okay, yeah?” Harry asked, worriedly playing with the ring on his finger. “I just, I feel more comfortable with it.”

Louis doesn’t know what to say to that, he doesn’t want to repeat the last four years Harry had missed. Not when Harry is leaving again. And he will, whether it’s when his mum is here or when they found Harry’s husband.

But this Harry doesn’t deserve to be yelled at for wearing something he was familiar with.

“Yeah, of course.” He said instead because he can’t argue with Harry after everything he went through, he’d tell Harry to take it off in a few days, that is, if he still stays here. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Harry smiled hearing that, Louis doesn’t sounds as cold as he did during dinner or earlier in his office. “Thanks,” Harry said it in almost a whisper. “Night,” He didn’t think when he approached Louis and leaned in, but Louis was thinking and look away so that his lips were met with his cheek instead. The coldness came back when Harry pulled away and Louis had no expression whatsoever. 

The younger boy turned on his feels, reaching for the bed but Louis stopped him. “Harry, this is my room.” The words hurts more than Louis avoiding his lips.

Harry turned to face him. “Where am I sleeping then?”

“The guest room.” Louis said but he watched Harry’s expression went even sadder. “But, if you want to stay here-”

“No, Lou, it’s fine.” Harry cuts him off. “I’ve invade your space enough.” He forced a smile upon his face, walking out of the room, he doesn’t turn back to say goodnight again, not when he knows Louis going to avoid kissing him again.

Of course he will! Harry’s not his husband anymore! Harry can’t kiss him or hold his hand whenever he wants, he can’t sleep on the same bed with him and what was he thinking putting on his ring like Louis wouldn’t mind?!

He knows where the guest room is, he decorated it, after all. But he never imagined being the one who has to sleep in it. Not that there was anything wrong in the room apart from not having Louis holding him, whispering how much he loves Harry till he falls asleep.

Louis wasn’t the only thing that felt cold, everything around him felt cold. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think of the fic so far ? :)


	4. Chapter 4

Harry woke up late with a big headache, it took him awhile to remember why he’s asleep in the guest room. It was past eleven and it’s probably why his head was aching because Dr. Wales had remind him to take the meds after breakfast and before 10.

Louis wasn’t home, he realized when he saw a note on the kitchen table. 

_Cereals are in the top shelf, the one in the middle, you know which one._

_If you want to order food or need anything please call me, you know my number._

_Your meds are on the kitchen’s counter, please don’t forget to take them._

_I’ll be home late but don’t hesitate to call._

_-Lou._

Harry smiled, stupidly while he reads. Last week- or four years ago as everyone likes to put it, Louis always leaves notes for Harry when he doesn’t have early classes, as if texting didn’t exist. Now however, he’s doing it because Harry doesn’t have a phone or maybe old habits die hard. 

He didn’t want to bother Louis with a phone call though and he did got his wallet from the accident and found a lot of cash in it which was a surprise, he must’ve been killing it in the music industry before the crash.

Yesterday, when they’re trying to access any of Harry’s social medias, Louis and him checked out his youtube account, Harry was surprised with how many views and subscribers he doesn’t remember having, he doesn’t even remember doing half of the video that were new ones- by new ones he means a year old ones. Because he seemed to stop posting song covers since a year ago. 

Louis doesn’t know why either, said he was long gone by then. That might’ve hurt Harry but at that time, Louis was probably devastated.

Anyway- with the money he had from said wallet, he made a trip to the local supermarket. The neighborhood are pretty much the same except for a few stores with their new paints, a brand new logo or a new shop altogether. It was more crowded than Harry remembers though.

\--

“Mate, I don’t see the problem here.” Stan, Louis’ co-worker for the past five years told him during their lunch break at a nearby restaurant, he used to come here often with Harry. “Isn’t this what you wanted? For Harry to come home?”

Louis sighed. “I don’t want it like this, Stan. He doesn’t remember divorcing me.”

“Exactly! How lucky are you!’ Stan smirked. “You get to rewrite the past, make sure he doesn’t leave this time.”

Louis frowned upon hearing that. No, he doesn’t want Harry back that way. That’s unfair to Harry and his husband who’s probably worried sick right now. And doing that means there’s a chance Harry will leave again. They weren’t meant to be together, he’ll leave Louis again.

“I don’t think you understand- Harry?” Louis watched his ex husband walking into the restaurant with the biggest smile on his face. What the fuck is he doing here?!

Stan followed his eyes and his eyes widened when he saw Harry. “Fuck, it’s actually him.”

He was standing there, looking around for an empty seat, he was carrying a paper bag, looks like he did some grocery shopping- why was he shopping?!

Louis stood up and approached Harry when a waiter greeted him. “He’s with me, he doesn’t need a table.” Louis smiled to the waiter but said waiter eyed him up and down, staring at his face in disgust and it only occur to him that the waiter must’ve thought Louis is behind the bruises all over Harry’s face, well news flash, jerk, he was in a car accident and Louis would never lay a hand on Harry!

On the other hand, Louis took Harry’s hand, the younger boy perked up when he saw his husband.

“Hey, Lou! I don’t see your car outside are you-” He stopped himself when he remembered Louis’ new car. “Oh right! You got a new car! I had your old one in mind, what happened to it, anyway?”

Louis stopped when they were further away from the waiter. “Harry, I told you to call me when you need anything, from the phone line, you know which one.” Louis sounds concerned more than anything. Harry likes it that he wasn’t as cold as yesterday. “You need rest.”

“I’m fine, Lou.” Harry smiled. “And I was craving their potato salad, which is weird because I remember having them last week but it feels like I haven’t had them in almost two years.”

This is going to be hard. “That’s because-” But no, he can’t make Harry sad right now, Harry doesn’t have more room to be sad. “I’ll order your salad, why don’t you go sit down, I’m at table 8.”

Harry’s eyes scanned the room to find Stan sitting on table 8, waving at Harry.

“Hi Stan!” Harry cheered, walking over to him. Louis almost forgot that Harry knows Stan. of course he knows Stan, he knows everyone from Louis’ life. His friends were Harry’s friends and vice versa.

\--

“You didn’t have to drive me back home, I know my way back.” Harry told him for what seemed to be the hundred times since he got in the car, sitting at the back because Louis prefers Stan to sit next to him.

Louis stopped by their driveway, waiting for Harry to exit the car. “Bye Harry, please call me the next time you need anything.”

Harry huffed in response, unlocking his side of the door before jumping off the car. 

“And don’t forget to take your meds!” Louis called before Harry slammed the door shut. He was tired of being treated like a child. He can’t just stay in the house all day and he needs something to remind him of his current life. That’s supposed to help, doesn’t it? 

\--

Where is he?!

It’s been two weeks now and he still has no idea where Harry is or why hasn’t he come home.

He left without a goodbye, no notes or a single text, nothing. Except his wedding ring he left on the dining table. He just disappeared.

Going to the police seems risky in Dean’s opinion, because what if they found him and Harry asked for help instead?! It’ll just backfire him.

Where was he supposed to find him?! Harry never introduce him to Harry’s family, all he knows is that they live in Cheshire and that he used to live in Manchester with his ex husband. He also knows that Harry never contact said ex husband. Not when he checked Harry’s phone every night before they sleep.

Harry doesn’t have alot of friends in London. He knows everyone Harry knows and no one seemed suspicious enough to be helping Harry. Where the fuck is he?! How could he leave just like that?!

He’s going to find Harry, even if he’s on the other side of the fucking world. He’ll find him.

Now, how could Harry be? There’s gotta be evidence but the past two weeks he’s been all over his house trying to find something, anything!

Harry’s phone was there but there was a passcode he recently changed, he gave it to one of his friends that might be able to unlock it. But if Harry left it behind, could there be any secrets in it?! What if he resets his phone before he left?!  


\--

Harry was in Louis’ room again, he just took a shower in the connected bathroom because he felt more comfortable using the bathroom than the other ones. His favorite shampoo wasn’t there though so he had to use Louis’, not that he minded since Louis had been absent on hugs and kisses, he’d like to have Louis’ scent lingers on him.

He was drying himself in front of the mirror, he hates that some of his bruises on his face hasn’t gone away yet, maybe that’s why Louis didn’t want to see him outside. His eyes travelled to his back when he turned around noticed the bruises all over his back down to his bum. so that’s why it’s been aching so bad. Could it be from the accident? Dr. Wales said he’s wearing a seatbelt, no one said he flinched off of his seat and the bruises looks old, fading along with scratches but it looks more like someone hurt him- like someone whipped him and not in a kinky way he’d approve of- like in a painful way. 

But no, it’s probably from the accident otherwise Dr. Wales would’ve said something. She did gave Harry a cream for the bruises to heal faster so she must’ve known that it’s from the accident. The reason they looked more faded than the one on his forehead was probably because it didn’t hit him as hard. But the one under his eye and back or even his arms are more faded.

Harry zoned out of his thoughts, trying not to worry about them. They’ll go away soon, Dr. Wales said they will. 

Well, now’s to start dinner because Louis will be home soon and he had shop actual food so Louis will eat good tonight. He knows in his mind the last time Louis had his food was at least two weeks ago, but in real life Louis probably haven’t had it in a year or more. So, what was better than bringing Louis’ favorite food back?

Louis may be able to resist his kisses but he won’t be able to resist his homemade chicken curry with rice. It always has been Louis’ weakness. 

It was past seven and he knows Louis said he’ll be home late but he hates that Louis’ busier now than Harry remembers. He used to go home much later but that was when Harry had better things to do and friends to talk to. Now he’s all alone. 

He smiles when he heard a car pulling into their garage. _Finally._

“Hi,” He greeted when Louis walks in, his tie loosen and his hair in a mess, he must be exhausted from work. “I made dinner.”

Louis furrowed his brows. “You made- I told you to rest.” He followed Harry into the kitchen when he realized Harry was ignoring him. He’s always ignoring Louis when he talks about resting. 

“I’m not- I had dinner, Harry.” Louis said when Harry grinned, raising his plate of chicken.

That didn’t stop Harry from smiling though because Louis never rejected Harry’s food, not even when he had eaten at work with his colleagues. 

“It’s your favorite.” Harry reminded him but then- “It’s still your favorite, right?”

Louis can’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, but I just had dinner.” He can’t eat Harry’s food when he knows sooner or later Harry is going to leave again. He’s trying to get used to this. “You go ahead, I’m just going to finish up some paperwork.” He turned on his heel about to leave when Harry’s voice stopped him. 

“I get it,” Harry said, he heard the boy puts down his plate. “I get that you don’t like me anymore, we’re divorced, we must’ve fallen out of love and my presence here irks you.” Louis turned back to face Harry, he looked like he’s on the verge of tears. “And I’m sorry for whatever it was that I did but I don’t know that person, I can’t explain to you why I asked for a divorce. That person is not who I am right now.”

Louis opened his mouth to say something but Harry continues. “As for right now, I still see you as my husband _and_ my best friend, and I care about you, I still love you just as much as I did last month, or four years ago, whatever it is.” That’s when he let the tears fall down from his face. “And it- it hurts me that I woke up one day and next thing I know my husband doesn’t want to sleep with me or eat my food or-” He can’t finish himself, he sat down on the chair and just let himself sobs into the palm of his hand.

“Harry, it’s not like that.” Louis rushes to his side, without thinking he pulled the crying boy to his side. “Okay, I’ll eat, yeah? I’m sorry.”

“That’s besides the point, Louis.” Harry wants to go but Louis was holding him, he’s been waiting for this since he left the hospital. “The point is I know you prefer not having me here but I don’t know where I have to go, this is the life I know and- I really wish you don’t have to be this cold to me.”

“Got it, I’m sorry.” Again, without thinking, Louis kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable I just I didn’t want to force you around me.” He kissed him again, pulling him tighter, if it was possible. “I was scared we’ll get used to this again and when your husband found you, I have to-” Fuck, is he really telling Harry this? No, he had to stop right here. Harry already feels bad enough as it is.

So he decided not to go on and Harry gets it. He gets that this was hard on Louis just as much as it was on him.

Louis eat then, as usual he enjoys Harry’s cookings, he missed it so bad that he didn’t realize he asked for another plate after finishing one. Harry stopped crying, not only because Louis was eating his food but because he wasn’t as cold as he was now that Harry talks to him about it. 

“This is amazing, Harry.” Louis told him as he stood up to clear the table before Harry gets the chance to. “Thank you.”

Harry smiled and follow Louis to the kitchen where he put all their dirty plates in the dishwasher, he didn’t want this night to end now that Louis was being nice. 

“Do you want some ice cream? I bought ice cream.” Harry leaned back on the kitchen counter, biting his lips.

“I’d love some but I’m really full this time.” Louis chuckled, turning to face Harry. “And there’s still some paperwork I need to-”

He was cut off when Harry pulled him by the neck, pressing his lips onto Louis’, both hands crawled up his neck when he feels Louis kissed him back, his arms snaked around Harry’s waist to pull him closer-but this was wrong. “No!” Louis broke the kiss. “Harry, don’t.”

Harry locked his eyes with Louis, not letting go because Louis wasn’t letting go either.

“We’re not,” Louis sighs. “I don’t want to use your accident to rewrite the past.” Stan’s words echoed in his head, which he disagrees completely. 

That’s fair, Harry thought. But what’s the past? Harry doesn’t know anything about their past, there was no _past_. “I love you,” Harry said instead, eyes still locked with Louis’ blue ones. He might just get lost in them like he did when he was sixteen and never found his way back.

He ran his fingers through Louis’ jaw, playing with the growing stubble. “I don’t understand how I could ever fall out of love with you.

_I love you too._ Louis wanted to say but no, no. Harry was just lost in the depths of his 21 year old brain, Harry will never say that to him if he didn’t lose any memories from his brain.

He was certain that if he ever ran into Harry after the divorce and before the accident, Harry would either acts like he doesn’t exists or send him death glares, maybe even made Louis feel bad about crossing paths with him. 

So instead, Louis let go of him, leaving him alone in the kitchen counter because having Harry here, in _their_ house, wearing his ring, cooking dinner, kissing him telling him that he loves him, everything was too overwhelming. 

\--

_“I love you.” Louis blurted out in the middle of Harry’s endless rant about the movie they’re seeing in Louis’ tiny flat. But that definitely stopped Harry from talking and turned to face his boyfriend._

_He didn’t looked mad or surprised, in fact, he looks like he just crack a code- like when he forgot his password to his email because he kept changing it and finally remember it on the fifth try._

_“I love you,” He finally replied, leaning in to rest his forehead against Louis’. “I love you.” He repeated because now that he says it, he can’t stop. So just for good measure, he says it again with both his hands on Louis’ cheeks. “I love you.”_

_Louis’ grinning now, leaning in to give Harry a proper kiss. Out of all the time he’d been dying to say these words to Harry after being together for over a year, he had to choose the time where Harry’s only visiting for the weekend, when he has to be back home by tomorrow morning. When they were both in nothing but their boxers shorts, sitting on his shitty sofa with chinese take outs empty boxes all over the coffee table. With their messy hair and swollen eyes from the nap they had just woken up from._

_When it’s two fifty in the evening and the sun wasn’t even out to make this small flat looked more pleasant. When The Perks of Being a Wallflower was playing in the background of his small telly._

_This is totally not the best time, but does it even matter? Harry loves him back! That’s what matters!_

_Harry’s only seventeen, barely finished his sixth form. Harry, the boy who’s always whining about what he should study in university and which shoes looks better with his shirt- the boy who was so uncertain about so many things in his life was certain on one thing; that he loves Louis._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are very much appreciated <3 
> 
> what do you think of this so far? :) xx


	5. Chapter 5

Louis woke up to the sound of his ringtone. It was a Saturday and it was eight in the morning according to his alarm clock. Who could be calling this early in the morning?! This better be important.

He was too sleepy to look at the caller on his screen, he touch the green phone button and put it on speaker phone. “Tomlinson speaking,” He said because he assumes this was job related but the familiar voice had him fully awake within seconds.

“Lou? I just got your message, is Harry alright?” Gemma panicked. Of course she will be when her brother had been in a coma for eleven days and she didn’t know it until now. “Where is he now? Is he awake?”

Louis rubs his eyes. “Uh, yeah, he’s awake, don’t worry.” Louis cleared his throat because he needs to get his sleeping voice out of the way. “And he’s with me now, actually, in Manchester.”

“Oh?” Gemma sounded surprised but relieved at the same time. “Oh god, thank you so much, Lou. Our flight is tonight, we’ll be there by tomorrow.” Then she adds. “Where is he now? Can I speak to him?”

“I don’t think he’s awake but I’ll inform you when he is, yeah?” Louis didn’t know if he should break the news now or wait till she gets here. “How’s Anne?”

“Mum is really worried, Lou. But everything’s okay, right?”

Louis sighed. “He got alot of bruises up and down his body, but they’re healing.” He got no choice he had to tell her now. “And uh, I-He had severe memory loss.” He announced, he heard Gemma gasped on the other line and Anne’s voice asking what was it. “He doesn’t remember his husband.”

“Oh no,” Gemma sounded hopeless. “How did he react about Harry’s condition?”   
  


“That’s the worst part, he doesn’t know…?” Louis chewed his bottom lip before saying. “I was Harry’s emergency contact, there’s no track of him, so I’m hoping you guys could help me find him.”

Gemma was silent on the other line for at least thirty seconds before saying “Y-yeah, we’ll help. I uh, call me when he’s awake, yeah?” 

“Of course, love, talk to your later.” After Louis hung up he gave it a thought of what just happened.

Gemma hesitated. 

Is there a chance she or Anne doesn’t know about Harry’s husband as well? What the fuck, is said husband a myth?! DId the Styles made him up to make Louis feel bad- No! That wasn’t possible. Anne loves Louis and Gemma sees him like a brother and they still talk despite the divorce. Hell, Harry’s mum even said they talk more than Harry talks to them since the divorce.

Which would make sense if they don’t know Harry’s husband. Gemma did said they weren’t invited to the wedding.

Louis thought that was nothing like the Harry he knows. Harry’s a fan of weddings, he made sure his with Louis was big even when they were just kids back then and barely made money. He could only imagine how big his second wedding was. 

  
  


\--

  
  
  


Harry made breakfast. Of course he did and he acts as if last night didn’t happen- what? Did he forgot last night like he forgot- okay, no, bad joke. Louis shakes his thoughts away as he walks in the kitchen to find Harry flipping pancakes.

“Good morning,” Harry smiled and leaned in, giving Louis’ cheek a kiss. Fuck. “Oops.” Harry backed away. “Sorry, uh, habit?” He flashed an apologetic look. “Anyway, pancakes?”

Louis grab his mug for tea and one tea bag.

“You still have the old mug,” Harry giggled looking down at the mug.

Who knows how old this mug is, it lasts longer than their entire relationship is all Louis knew. It was a stupid mug Niall got them for their  _ one month _ anniversary back in high school. It was a cheesy custom made ‘Harry  ♡ Louis’ mug that back then they both thought was the cutest thing ever, they know how lame it is now but Louis’ not going to stop using it.

They have a special tea stain remover chemical for a reason after all. 

“Yeah, it sticks with me.” Louis chuckled, looking down at the mug on his hand. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Harry flashes him a smile before returning his eyes back on the pancakes. “Why would I mind?”

Right, memory loss, he’s in love with Louis all over again. So Louis changed the subject to avoid the awkwardness. “Gemma called.” Louis announced. “She wanted to talk to you.”

Harry turned to face his husband, a big smile on his face. “I love to talk to her, I miss her so much!”

\--

Gemma and Harry talked for an hour on Louis’ phone. Not that he minds, they were video calling and Harry kept mocking her about how old she looks now. Anne was crying, joining the video call and Harry would aim the camera to Louis every once in awhile but he would just wave at his phone screen then tries to focus on his laptop, trying to hide his fondness.

This was reminding him of the old days when Harry would barge into his studio, saying mum and gemma wanted to say hi but then he sat on his favorite loveseat and continues to talk to them and because Louis loves his family so much, he ended up ditching work to talk to them.

Not this time though, Harry deserves to talk to them without Louis interfering.

Also, there was still now news from London's police about someone reporting a missing person and that Harry’s last updated marital status was divorced. How are they ever going to find his fucking husband?! Harry needed it. He needs to remember.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you soon.” Harry spoke to Louis’ phone, giggling when Gemma and Anne said their goodbyes in unison. “Bye bye, see you!”

Louis turned his chair to face his ex husband who had a big smile spread across his face, he watched the boy stood up and hand him his phone back. “Thank you for your phone, sorry I got carried away.”

“It’s no problem, love.”  _ What’s mine is yours.  _ Fuck- he didn’t even realized he slipped out an endearment until it was too late. But it definitely made Harry smiles. He turned back to his laptop to avoid any awkwardness. 

Harry exhaled before saying. “So, I was thinking of making pasta tonight. But you have nothing in your fridge, so maybe you can take me grocery shopping...again?”

Louis looked back up to his ex husband. “You know you don’t have to cook every night, right?”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “You told me on your last work trip that you hated the hotel food and that you wish I could cook you everyday at all times, but it wouldn’t be fair to me, I don’t even mind doing but-”

“That was nearly five years ago!” Louis can’t help but laughs which sets a frown up Harry’s face and- right, not funny. “I mean, how about we go out for pasta?”

The frowned disappeared then. “Out? To eat? No Stan this time?”

“No, why would I call Stan on a saturday night?” Louis asked, stupidly.

Harry however, thought of it differently. “So like, date night?”

Louis’ heart dropped to his stomach.  _ Date night _ . They haven’t even talk in over a year let alone having one of their date nights where they eat at a fancy restaurant before they go skinny dipping at Hollingworth lake no matter what the temperature was. 

“I don’t think-”

“We can skip the skinny dipping if you’re worried about me.” Harry tried. “And how long has it been since we gone to-”

“I mean date night, Harry, this isn’t a date.” Louis cuts him off. “I can’t- you’re married to someone else.”

There was a long pause, both of them stare at each other in silence. Harry doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t even know who the fuck he’s married to, he doesn’t even have a ring to proof it! All he got was Louis’ ring. 

“Right, no dates.” Harry finally said. “Just two friends going out for pasta then, no skinny dipping as well.” Harry didn’t said anything then, he turned on his heel and left Louis’ office.

He knows Harry’s hurt, he gets it. He was hurting too. Trying to get over Harry was ten times much harder when he lives here again. 

\--

“Alright, I got all of Harry’s phone data.” Mark, Dean’s long companion and helper to hack Harry’s phone told him. “Nothing seemed suspicious, Harry doesn’t seem to use social media alot after he married you.” He snorted. 

Dean tried to ignore his comment. “None of his friends seems to update anything on him as well.” Mark continued, scrolling through Harry’s instagram feed from his laptop. He clicked the refresh button to prove his point that they’re really signed in to the account. 

There were little rings on users on top of Harry’s feed, instagram story? Guess that’s what they called it nowadays and he saw a picture of Harry’s sister there. 

“That’s his sister.” Dean pointed. “What has she been up to?”

Mark clicked on the icon of her picture, waiting for it to load and it was a picture of her with little kids and their thumbs up high. She wrote the caption.  _ “Until next time Ghana, it was lovely to meet you all xx”  _ Oh, so she’s out of the country? Probably didn’t know anything about Harry- oh wait. 

Wrong. He’s wrong because the slide changes and it was a picture of Harry, smiling like an idiot and a little box on the corner of the picture of her and their mum, the picture seemed a bit blurry like a screenshot of a video call. Wait, they were video calling!

Fuck. He got him now. 

“Whoa, he looked busted.” Mark commented and Harry’s bruises were obvious. 

He always covers them after Dean shuts him up, who does he think he is that he could just show people about it?! And they were fading as well- a new one seemed to appear on his forehead though Dean had no memory of doing that.

Gemma wrote a caption as well.  _ “Can’t wait to see you baby bro!”  _ Dean wonders if anyone had asked Gemma about the obvious bruises. 

“So, what now?” Mark asked, dumbly. 

But really that was in fact a good question. 

What now?

\--

“That’s weird.” Gemma said, eyes locked on her phone screen. 

Anne turned to her, they were in the cab on their way to the airport. Anne’s been so stoked to go home and see her baby boy since Louis told him that he’s safe and also with Louis.

“What’s wrong, love?” Anne asked.

Gemma turned to her with furrowed brows. “Didn’t Harry said he lost access to his accounts because he can’t remember his passwords?”

“And?”

“Well, he just viewed my instagram story.” Then she added when she saw a little green dot next to Harry’s icon. “And he’s active!”

Anne just smiled. “Maybe they figured a way to log him back in, love.”

Well, maybe that’s the case, but if it was Harry he’d message Gemma right away and said that he looks bad on the screenshot and demand to post a better one. But there were no replies from Harry, only from a few people that knew him asking what happened to his face. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think of the fic so far xx


	6. Chapter 6

Louis knocked on Harry’s door, he was all dressed up to go to dinner with Harry. But Harry seemed to forgot or changed his mind because when Louis opens the door, not waiting for Harry to let him in, he found the boy curled up in his bed in his t-shirt and jeans he’s been wearing all day. 

“Hey, are you-” Louis noticed the tears stain on his face. Oh god, he’s crying again. He quickly rushed to the bed, kneeling in front of it. “Harry, you alright?”

Harry blinked, trying to avoid eye contact. “I know we’re not supposed to be together, Lou, but can you be a little nicer to me?” He sniffed. “I already told you I don’t remember why I wanted a divorce, you can’t be mad at me, it’s unfair!”

“I’m not mad at you,” Louis assured him. Is this about Louis denying the fact that this was a date?! “I just didn’t want you to address this as a date, I don’t-” He should just say it, he had nothing to lose. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, Harry.”

That’s when Harry turned to him, finally. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, sooner or later, we’ll find your husband and you’ll go back to him and I’m going to lose you again,I don’t need a repeat of you leaving me.”

Harry sat up so Louis did as well, sitting on the edge of Harry’s bed. “What if I'm not leaving this time?”

“You will.” Louis whispered but Harry heard him. “You will because we’re not meant to be together, if we were, you would’ve stayed in the first place.”

That breaks Harry’s heart into tiny little pieces.

Ever since his doctor told him he had severe memory loss; it doesn’t feel like that. It feels more like he time travels to four years later where Louis and him aren’t together and he’s given the chance to fix them but Louis kept going on and on about a husband. A husband that has no track whatsoever, he wasn’t Harry’s emergency contact, No one is looking for Harry, shit, Harry doesn’t even have a phone!   
  


So he can’t imagine leaving Louis- not again. 

“Lou, I’m madly in love with you.” Harry told him, scooting closer to him. “And it’s not just my memory talking, if it was, don’t you think present Harry would’ve disagree? Well, guess what? I  _ am  _ present Harry and just because I don’t remember what happened, doesn’t mean my heart forgot and decided to cooperate with my brain, no, my heart remembers and what if-” He suggested. “What if I was never over you?”

That was utterly impossible. Harry despised Louis ever since the divorce. Up until now.

“I can’t,” Louis told him again. “I’ll do anything to have you remember, I don’t want to take advantage of what you forgot.”

Harry shakes his head. “I know you won’t.”

Louis ran his palms through his face. “Look, we’ll work it out, yeah? We’ll figure it out day by day.” He promised. “We’ll find your husband, you’ll remember him, everything will be alright.”

No, Louis doesn’t get it! Harry doesn’t want to find this husband Louis kept mentioning, he wants to be with Louis!

“But in the meantime,” Louis adds. “Why don’t you come with me to get pasta?”

Harry burst out of laughter then, almost forgetting they were going to have pasta.

His eyes roamed over Louis’ body, he was all dressed up, looking as handsome as ever. Then Harry shakes his head. “I don’t have anything to wear.” Because the luggage that supposedly is his only had four sets of clothing and six boxers briefs along with six socks. Which surprised the two of them because the Harry they know loves dressing up. He won’t ever go on a trip with just jeans and T-shirts.

“I think you look fine but-” Being Harry’s ex husband means Louis knows the answer to that problem. “I know you don’t remember a lot but I know you remember that I was married to a fashion designer drop out.”

Harry raised an eyebrow in question. 

“When you left you didn’t take all your clothes with you, Harry, especially not the one you made.” Louis explained. “Which is a shame, you look great in all of them.” 

Harry perked up at that. He  _ loves  _ his designs,he doesn’t even understand why he dropped out of fashion designing school. Even with the stress, Harry knows he loves it.

The attic- the place Harry hasn’t roamed around since he got here was just like how he remembered except it was dustier now and there were a lot of boxes in the corner but overall, it was still his fashion studio that Louis built for him.

They had this in mind since they bought the house, to turn the attic into Harry’s studio and it’s brilliant. Harry spent most nights here.

“Some of your stuff is in there,” Louis pointed at the boxes in the corner, Harry had been eyeing them. “You know clothes, camera equipment, books,song sheets, I think some of your rings are in it,” He trailed off before saying. “And pictures.”

Oh, so there’s where all their pictures went.

Harry turned to face him, his face lights up at the mention of rings. Louis hoped maybe he could take off his old wedding ring now. But instead he asked about his- “Camera for my youtube?”

“Yep, that’s the one.” Louis nods. “You said you don’t need them anymore ‘cause you’re going to have proper cameraman shoot you in London.” Louis chuckled, nervously.

Harry wondered if he ever did have proper cameraman shoot for him. But wouldn’t there be videos or if he was famous won’t people know about the accident?!

But he lets that slide now and gets back to business, maybe he could spend more time here when Louis’ at work and he’s bored to death. However, right now. He needs a lovely outfit for his date- nope, for his night out with his husband.

His hands roam over the mannequin wearing one of his latest designs, some of them he doesn’t even remember making but they look amazing. Tell him again why he gave up?!

“Oh, this one is beautiful.” Harry eyed a suit in front of him, it was a pink suit with flowers embroidered on it and honestly it was too much when they’re just going out for pasta but he wants to wear it. 

Louis’ eyes followed the suit in front of Harry. “You uh, made this one long after you dropped out.” Louis explained, seemed like there’s a story behind everything and Harry loves that. Loves that Louis remembers. “Because I had this work party, a ball and you wanted to impress everyone.”

Harry smiled, turning to Louis. “Did I look good in it?”

That question made Louis look down at his shoes, suddenly the dust became more interesting. “You ended up not going because that’s the night you, uh.” Fuck, why did Louis tell him in the first place?! He doesn’t want to lie to Harry though. “You asked for the divorce and it was- I ended up only staying an hour there myself.”

Harry feels like shit every time he’s reminded that he broke Louis’ heart.

No, this is not the suit he’s going to wear to eat pasta with Louis.

“What about this one then?” Harry pointed to one lying on the table, on top of piles of fabrics. It was a standard black dress-shirt, he probably didn’t make that one.

Louis followed Harry as he picked up the shirt. “I think you bought that one.” Called it. “But you always thought it would look good with uh,” Louis turned around, walking over a pile of more fabric then pulled out a black and white floral pants. Harry loves it. “Now this, you made.”

“I was a fashion genius.” Harry grinned. “Let me try them on.”

Louis was about to hand Harry the pants when Harry decided to take off the T-shirt he had on. The blue eyed man took a step back. “Whoa, I thought you mean trying them downstairs.”

“What? It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.” Harry shrugged, throwing his used T-shirt somewhere on the floor and turn around to grab the dress shirt he found earlier. 

And oh shit- that’s when Louis noticed all the bruises and scratches on Harry’s back- how could he missed this before. “Oh, Harry.” He sighed, without thinking walking closer to the boy to take a better look on them. The one all over Harry’s face and arms are already bad enough.

Harry didn’t budge when he feels Louis’ fingers brush over them, he turned his head to the side looking concern. “Is it that bad?” Harry never really fully see it when it’s on his back, he knows they hurt though.

“Did you use the cream Dr. Wales gave you for these?” Louis asked instead.

“Yeah, but there’s parts I can’t reach.” Harry admitted, he heard Louis sighed behind him. “They go down to my bum.” Harry said it without shame because Louis is his husband and he’s never ashamed with Louis. Not when they’ve been together for so long.

Louis shakes his head. “How’s that-” Alright, he wasn’t going to question it. The crash must’ve been so hard. The only thing Louis could do now was to help him with the parts he can’t reach, he can’t make them magically disappeared even though it pains him seeing Harry badly bruised like this. “Where’s the cream?”

“You’re gonna help?” Harry turned around, a huge smile spread across his face.

“Of course I’m going to help, Harry, what else am I here for?”

Harry doesn’t say it, but he really wants to  _ Because we’re married and of course you’re the one who’s here to take care of me.  _

\--

To Harry, it wasn’t awkward sitting on his bed with Louis behind him rubbing said cream all over his bruises.

But to Louis, it was because Harry is his ex-husband the one he thought would never come back to his life. But here they are, doing something so innocent yet so intimate.

“Does it hurt?” Louis asked to make himself less tense and because he’s curious.

Harry nods. Ouch. “Sometimes they ache really badly and they’d sting when I touch them, the scratches sting in the shower.” Harry told him. “It explains why I hate lying on my back recently.”

How could this happen to Harry?! He doesn’t deserve this. Not even after what he did to Louis, it doesn’t matter what he did to Louis. Harry did not deserve to get into an accident that bad and lost his memory.

“Thanks,” Harry said after Louis told him he was done. Even though he was secretly hoping Louis would help him with the one on his bum and thighs- but he knows Harry could reach those. “What about these though?” Harry turned to face Louis and pointed to his face.

Louis furrowed his brows. “You can’t reach to put cream on your face?”

“No!” Harry laughs. “I mean, people are gonna see and I don’t- I don’t want to embarrass you.”

Louis frowned, sitting next to him on the bed. “You ate with me and Stan and I didn’t mind now, did I?”

“Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to be there and everyone was staring.” He looked down on his fingers. “What if people think you hurt me, Lou? I don’t want anyone to think that.”

Really, now? “Harry, I don’t care what people think, you and I both know that’s not what happened.” 

Harry shakes his head. “I hate it.” Now he said it. In that case, Louis didn’t know what to do. He can’t cover up bruises. 

“Do you have concealer?”

“Why would I- wait,” Louis stood up going over to the dresser. This room is often used by his sisters when they visit and he happens to know Lottie kept some of her makeup in one of these drawers so she doesn’t have to bring a whole set every time she’s here.

He opens the first drawer and bingo- “Are any of these concealers?” 

Harry doesn’t wear makeup. He would know if Harry likes them but he never wear them the whole time Louis knows him except maybe lipsticks but that was only sometimes.

So it was surprising to watch Harry put on concealer like he knows what he’s doing. Like he had done this before. He’d tap it over his bruises till it looks a little faded, he layered it with Lottie’s foundation and even made a comment about how good the coverage was. It was almost like he used it everyday and know how to cover them. 

Maybe he does wear makeup ever since they split. Maybe his hands remembered what his mind forgot and Louis found it amazing. He absolutely adore how good Harry was with his hands- not in a dirty way, of course. 

\--

Eating here with Louis cracking out a joke every five minutes felt like home. Louis overall had always feel like home but this time he was actually talking to Harry like they used to.

Louis updated him on the things he  _ missed _ in the last three years they were together and the year they’re separated. He even told him about the project he’s doing at work right now and what he had achieved at work.

He was rambling and Harry was happy about it. He missed this. He missed Louis talking about everything with him.

And by everything he means everything, he even talked about his family, how his siblings were doing. Hell, he even told Harry about Anne and Gemma and what Harry missed out on. Not only that, but he also talked about their high school mates.

He can’t believe Liam finally had a baby, it’s what he always wanted. Zayn was traveling Asia and Australia, he was married too! When Harry asked if he knows Zayn’s bride, Louis said he  _ did. _ And Niall was back home in Ireland, too busy to leave his farm.

“He’s a country boy now.” Louis said with the biggest grin.

The last time Harry hung out with Niall where Harry remembers, Niall works at build-a-bear after dropping out of his university saying he doesn’t need all this crap and soon enough his father will retire, which- came true.

“I miss them.” Harry told Louis, his plate of pasta had been finished at least ten minutes ago but they were too occupied with their conversations to leave, or ask for a dessert. Would Louis like a dessert?

Louis nods, agreeing. He missed them too. The closest he’s with since Harry and him split was Liam but they barely even talk to now. “Yeah, me too, sometimes.” Other times he just misses Harry, “I guess my high school self was never prepared for being too far from them.” He shrugged. “But you know, we have the occasional reunion, we still talk on social media, it’s not like we completely forget each other. We just grow older.”

That made Harry’s heart beats faster. All he knows is Louis promised him they’ll grow old together in his wedding vows but guess they never stick to that, huh? But what if the universe brought them back for a reason?

“Lou?” He scooted closer to his husband, they were in a booth and Harry had managed to keep his distance up until now. “I don’t know if I will ever remember or not but promise me one thing…?”

Louis swallowed his spit, watching the boy scooted even closer. “What is it?”

“We’ll grow old together, yeah? Even if we aren’t together?” There it was again, those pleading eyes.

Louis doesn’t know the answer to that because just a few months ago, he texted Harry a happy 25th birthday and he doesn’t even bother to reply, even with his read receipt on. How hard was it to just say thank you over a text?

But back then he didn’t know Harry will turn up in his life again in the worst way possible- in a way where he doesn’t even remember losing Louis or falling out of love with him. How could Louis say no to the Harry that was staring at him right now?

“Of course we will,” Louis finally said. “As long as you promised to watch the road next time.”

Harry grinned, shaking his head. He knows Louis was referring to the accident. Not that he mind, it’s not like he was traumatized- how could he be when he doesn’t even remember it?

“I love you,” Harry blurted out, leaning in to press his lips against Louis.

This time, Louis didn’t pull away, no. He doesn’t think about how this might affect him later. In fact, he stopped thinking all together when he kissed back and let his tongue do the thinking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.....what do you think so far? :)) x


	7. Chapter 7

Sex with Louis had always been great and not only because it’s the only sex Harry knows. But because Louis is always gentle with him, he’d only go rough when Harry wants it rough. And he always takes care of Harry afterwards.

And right now, with him being pressed on Louis’ bed, all he could think about was having Louis inside him. His body longed for Louis like they haven’t been in bed in months and maybe they haven’t but a few days in the guest bedroom really did the job to make Harry miss Louis’ touch more than anything.

  
Especially when he thought they wouldn’t get this far after leaving the restaurant. Both of them kept their hands to themselves on the way home but the moment they arrived Louis was all over him, his dignity and his policy of not touching Harry all thrown out the window.

The truth was, they both missed each other. Harry doesn’t care if they’re divorced or whatever, Louis obviously misses his touch. And Harry’s not one to complain when he wants it just as bad.

“Lou,” Harry gasped when Louis pulled his lips off of Harry, hands roaming Harry’s body and as bad as Harry’s back is aching right now, he didn’t mind if Louis is the one on top of him. “I love you.” He breathed just when Louis’ lips brushed against his.

_ Say it back.  _ Harry wanted to scream it. Louis never said it back anymore and it wasn’t like him at all. Especially now that Harry could tell he wants Harry and he wants him  _ bad. _

“Lou,” He called again when he feels Louis’ lips pressing on his neck, obviously avoiding his bruises there because they weren’t aching from Louis’ lips. “Make love to me.” He blurted which-

Ruined everything.

Because Louis pulled away instantly, sitting up on the bed, his eyes locked with Harry but he doesn’t look pleased. “Harry.”

“No, please.” Harry begged, sitting up as well, his hands made it to Louis’ neck to pull the older of the two closer. “You are not taking me for granted, you are not rewriting the past because I approve of this and I really don’t mind it-”

Louis stayed still, not responding to Harry’s kisses.

“Please, Lou, I miss you so bad.” Harry could cry right now especially when he felt Louis’ hands on his arms, trying to untangle them from his own neck.

“You’re married.”

“Yeah, I am, to  _ you. _ ”

Louis opens his mouth to say something but Harry beats him to it. “I don’t care what anyone thinks or what piece of paper said what we are.” Harry tried. “You’re the husband I remember marrying, you’re the person I’m in love with and you’re the person I want to be with.” Then he adds. “And I know you want to be with me too, Louis.”

“I can’t,” Louis told him. “I’m sorry,” But Harry isn’t the only one who can pour his heart out especially when every word he’s saying was hurting him even further. “Not when you’re leaving again and we both know you will. Even if you never remember, you’re going to leave me again because we aren’t meant to be together.”

There goes the tears, pouring out of his eyes at every word Louis was saying to him. He would never fall out of love with Louis, he doesn’t remember now but something in him  _ knows  _ that leaving Louis was the stupidest choice he ever made even when he doesn’t remember making that choice. 

“I will remember!” Harry sobs. “I will remember  _ everything  _ but I won’t remember falling out of love with you, because I never did!” 

Louis didn’t said anything to that. Harry had ruined him enough the first time around. 

So instead he got up from the bed, Harry’s eyes never leaving him, watching him walk into the connected bathroom. 

Harry was left there in what used to be their bedroom, staring at the ring on top of Louis’ dresser. His ring for Louis. Louis’ wedding ring that had Harry’s name engraved on the inside of it and Harry looked down to the ring on his finger. 

Never in his wildest dreams could he imagine ever giving it back to Louis. He doesn’t know what that person was thinking but he knows it was not him!

\--

What was Louis thinking?! He shouldn’t have let Harry lead him on the first place and now here he is, sitting on the floor of his bathroom, the sound of Harry sobbing was loud and clear and he’s trying not to make a sound as he let tears roll down his cheeks because god, he misses Harry so much.

And now he’s there, in their bed again but he knows better than to go further with him. The universe was truly testing him. 

Worst part was, Gemma and Anne are going to come home tomorrow and they’ll take Harry home and by then he probably won’t see Harry again.

And if he did, maybe Harry will regain his memory then and he’s back with his husband. He’s going to be the Harry that left him and couldn’t be bothered with sending him a happy birthday text. The Harry that was too good for him.

  
  


After awhile, Harry was silent outside and so was he. He washed his face and took off his shirt, throwing it in the laundry bin which reminds him, he should be doing laundry soon.

When he walks out of the room, he expected Harry to be gone but he was still there, lying on his side and awake,despite the dimmed light, Louis could tell Harry was looking up to Louis the minute he left the bathroom.

“Can I..” He slowly sat up. “Sleep here tonight? I just feel more at home.” That was a dangerous question to ask regarding what just happened. 

Louis didn’t think it through, he just nods because he can’t bare to let Harry suffer some more after everything he’d been through.

He reached for his pillow, because if he was going to sleep outside his room, his pillow is coming with him. 

“You- you can stay here as well.” Harry stuttered out before Louis leaves him alone in the room.

The truth was it wasn’t the bed or the room itself that made Harry feels at home. It was Louis’ presence with him. “I won’t try anything, I promise.” He promised. “I’ll keep my distance, it’s just- I’m more comfortable with you here…?” And deep down, he knows Louis won’t mind.

“Okay,” Louis croaked out, climbing on his bed. He could use Harry’s presence just as much. 

Harry smiled as he lay back down watching Louis lay on his side to face Harry. They just lay there, staring at each other before Louis turned to reach the nightlight. “Goodnight, Harry.”

  
  


\--

  
  


Louis woke up from the sound of Harry groaning mixed with his loud ringtone- people need to stop bothering him this early in the morning on weekends! Okay, so he just missed work for two weeks taking care of his ex husband in the hospital but that doesn’t mean they can bother his time off now!

“Lou, your phone.” He heard Harry grumbled, his curls was all over Louis’ face, obviously the younger of the two didn’t want to wake up just as bad.

But the fucking phone won’t stop ringing! “You get it,” Louis muffled, leaning closer to rest his chin on Harry’s neck so that he won’t suffocate in Harry’s curls- wait. Why is his chin on Harry’s neck? 

The blue eyed man opened his eyes to find Harry pressed against him, his own arms safely locked around the younger of the two. Fuck, how did they end up spooning and talking grumpily to each other like they’re still married?!

Then he remembers his phone, he shakes his head and reached for his phone on the nightstand and out of habit he said. “Tomlinson speaking.”

“Stop saying that like I’m your colleague.” He heard Gemma laughs on the other line. “Yo, we’ve been standing in front of your house for ten minutes now banging on your door, are you even home?”   
  


That’s right! Gemma! Anne! Harry! Reunited!

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” Louis immediately get on his feet, he didn’t bother to wake Harry up cause he can do that after he let the two women in. “I’ll be right down, I’m so sorry.” He hung up the phone and reached for a t-shirt, putting it on as he ran downstairs.

He unlocked his front door, twisting the knob open to reveal who used to be his family-in-law.

“Hey,” Louis smiled pulling Anne for a hug first, then Gemma. “How was the trip?”

Gemma groaned. “Exhausting.” She let herself in and Anne followed. Louis didn’t mind. They were still his family aside from what happened. Louis will always welcome them with open arms. 

“I got you something, love, but it has to wait till we unpack.” Anne was still by the door, trying to stroll her luggage in, Louis took the chance to help her. Gemma had a smaller luggage with her so she had no problem with it.

Louis smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Can I get you anything? Tea?” Louis offered. 

Gemma was already sprawled on the sofa. “Tea will be nice, thanks.”

“Gemma!” Anne scold. “Get up and make it yourself!”

She whined like a ten year old. “I just got off a nine hours plane ride!”

“It won’t be a problem, Anne.” Louis chuckled. “Oh and Harry’s still asleep by the way, I can wake him up, of course after I fix you two your tea.”

Anne shakes her head, smiling sweetly. “We can wait, love, no worries, let him rest. how is he doing?”

Louis sighed. “He’s bruised really badly and still can’t remember anything past 2015, but other than that, he’s okay.”

Gemma and Anne looked at each other, worried as ever. Louis is having flashbacks to when Harry had to go to the hospital due to food poisoning and how worried they both were. That was just food poisoning now imagine how worried they are with what happened to him.

“I hope he’s not being a handful, I can’t thank you enough for taking care of him.” Anne told Louis when he’s in the kitchen fixing tea for his guests.

Louis chuckled, turning to her. “If anything  _ I’m  _ the handful. He cooked for me and all.” Louis told her, she laughs. “He was concerned when I serve him chicken nuggets for dinner after I bought him mcnuggets for lunch.”

“Well, you should know better than to eat too much processed food.” Anne sounds exactly like her son, which made Louis smiled fondly at her.

He feels like he’s still married to Harry and his family comes to visit them, Anne always ends up lecturing him about something, which he doesn’t mind at all, Anne was like his second mum and vice versa, Anne sees him like her own son.

“I’m just saying, love.” Anne had a serious tone this time. “You’re almost  _ thirty _ , you have to start cooking for yourself.”

Louis switched off the kettle when he saw the steam coming out of it, pouring said hot water into three separate mugs. “I do in fact cook, Anne.” Louis told her. “I made myself instant noodles for dinner sometimes.” He grinned and she rolled her eyes, playfully at him.

“Can you fix me a cuppa as well?” The two of them turned around to see Harry walking into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Or I’ll just take Gemma’s, she’s asleep on the couch.”

Anne literally jumped off the stool when she saw her son, attacking him with a hug and kisses all over his face. “My baby!” She cried. “I’m so sorry, so sorry. Are you okay, baby?” She continued to smother kisses all over his face, making him groan and his cheeks turned red from embarrassment. 

Louis doesn’t know what he’s being embarrassed about, it’s not like Louis never witness Anne’s overprotective side towards her son.

“Mum!” Harry groaned, still trying to avoid more kisses. “I’m alright! And even if I’m not, your kisses aren’t going to heal me.”   
  


That made Louis bursts out a laughter while pouring another mug of hot water for Harry. It’s a good thing he keeps Harry’s favorite mug. His mug wasn’t a cheesy gift from one of their friends. It’s actually a souvenir he bought himself when they visit disneyland paris a few years back.

There’s too many memories from each of their mugs. Some, the newer ones, Harry probably doesn’t remember buying or receiving but Louis does, so he’s not going to get rid of them even after their marriage failed.

“Nonsense, my kisses cures everything.” Anne finally pulled away from her son, still brushing her fingers on his cheeks. Louis wondered when was the last time Anne saw Harry. He knows in Harry’s mind it hasn’t been long since he saw his family hence why he wasn’t as excited as her, but then again, she is excited because her son just survived a fatal car crash.

Louis placed Anne’s tea on the kitchen counter next to Harry’s. Being married to Harry means being married to Harry’s family hence why he knows how Anne and Gemma like their teas. It’s muscle memory by now. “Here you go, love.” Louis was talking to Anne but Harry looked up at the endearment, not that Louis never use sweet endearment to his family, but it’s just been too long since he uses it on Harry.

  
“Harry,” Louis gestured him to his cuppa.

The younger boy flashed him a smile before sitting next to his mother on the kitchen counter’s stool. It was actually Anne’s idea to put a couple of bar stool there. Since then, Harry and Louis usually enjoys their morning cuppa together, sitting there.

“How bad was the crash?” Anne frowned, her fingers brushing against Harry’s bruised under his eye, making the boy flinch.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t remember, mum.” He stated. “But they told me my airbag didn’t pop out and that I banged my head against the steering wheel.” Then he rolled up his sleeves to show Anne the bruises on his arms. “And apparently my windows shattered and some parts fell on me…? I guess?” Then he pointed to a huge scar near his elbow. “I think they pulled out a glass here.”

Anne hissed, she didn’t need to hear the details of this but she’s his mum, she has to know. 

“I don’t know how it got all over my back though, they said I had my seatbelt on.” Harry shrugged again, taking a sip of his tea. “But overall, I’m alright.”

_ You had severe memory loss.  _ Louis wanted to say but doesn’t dare. He let Harry enjoys his recovery for now. At least, he’s alive. 

  
  


\--

The sound of loud banging on his door was what woke Dean up. It was only ten in the morning and it was a sunday! Whoever was at the door can fucking choke-

“What?!” Dean opened the door to reveal Mark. This better be good news. 

“Alright, so, I synced Harry’s contacts and found his sister’s number.” He walks in, Dean closed the door behind him.

He watched Mark pulled out his phone. “And I track her number, which didn’t work last night because she was out of the country.” He unlocked his phone, opening up his camera roll to show Dean a picture of his laptop screen.

It wasn’t clear but it was obviously a map and there were three dots at the same spot. “Then when it started working at five in the morning, which I assume was when they landed, I tracked his mum’s number as well.”

Dean didn’t say anything, still trying to figure out the picture. 

“And then I track that Louis guy that you said was his ex husband.” Mark smirked, as if he succeeded in something. “And all three are at the same place. Meaning Harry is-”

“With his fucking ex husband?!” Dean finished for him, angrily. So that’s where he ran to. He should’ve fucking known!

Mark nods. “And you said they lived in Manchester, right? Well, guess where the map is?”

“At his fucking old house? Fucking Harry.” He scoffed. “There better be an address.” 

Mark pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, smirking proudly. “Way ahead of you and you’re welcome.”

_ This is it.  _ Dean thought as he reads the address on the paper.  _ I got you now. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? predictions? suggestions? let me at it ! :D


	8. Chapter 8

Harry spent the rest of the day with his family.

After Gemma woke up, she was, just like her mother, smothered her brother with kisses only difference is she kept calling him stupid but he complained and told her that she can’t be mad over something he doesn’t remember.

They seemed to have a lot of catching up to do so Louis leaves them to it.

Until dinner time comes and Harry found himself in the kitchen with Gemma, preparing dinner which Louis doesn’t mind at all.

However that leaves Anne with him in the family room with another cuppa. “Darling, I’m so sorry we’ve been occupying your house all day.” Anne told him. “I promise we’ll leave after dinner.”

Louis furrowed his brows. “You can stay for the night, you know? It’s another two hours back home and I know how tired you two must be.” Louis offered. “Also, I don’t think Harry’s ready to leave.” Or he wasn’t ready for Harry to leave him again.

But that confused Anne, for a couple of seconds until she realized. “You, you want us to take him home?” By home she means Chesire, her home, the place Harry grew up in.

“The doctor says it’s better for him to go back to his daily routine, it might help him get his memory back.” Louis explained. “But, I don’t know anything about his husband and the police are still trying to find him, apparently, there’s no report of anyone looking for him and uh, he’s not married…?”

Anne blinked. “What?”

“Harry’s marital status is divorced.” Louis explained. “To  _ me. _ But Gems told me he got remarried a few months back. Didn’t she?”

“He did.” Anne nods, still confused. “That’s what he told us. But we weren’t invited or anything, they got married in America, apparently…?”

That came out more of a question, like she wasn’t sure. None of them were sure about Harry’s marriage or the existence of this husband. 

“Alright, do you have his number? Did you tell him about what happened with Harry?” Louis asked but Anne shakes her head.

They stare at each other, both confused.

“Love, I’ve never met him.”

Oh shit. 

“You know he became distant since he moved to London.” Anne said it in almost a whisper, like she doesn’t want Harry, who was in the other room, to hear. “He never told us anything about him, just that he remarried.”

This is fucking shit.

Louis was silent. If Anne doesn’t know a way to contact this anonymous husband. Who the fuck can help them now?

\--

Gemma tasted the chicken soup she just made, satisfied with what she made. “Fuck, I should’ve become a chef.”

“You’d lose your temper and flip everything.” Harry joked which earn and playful slap from Gemma on his back which made the boy flinch.

Gemma scoffed at him. “I never lose temper in the courtroom. What’s your point?” She nudged his shoulder. “I only lost my temper with you. You idiot.”

Seemed like she can’t get enough of calling him that since they’re reunited. Harry didn’t mind, it feels like old times.

His sister walked over to the counter where she left her phone, unlocking it to go on instagram and see how many people have seen her story of her cooking with her brother with the caption  _ “Reunited at last! (I’m still the better cook)”  _ And saw that Harry’s account had seen it, yet again.

And she’s been with Harry all day, not once was he on the phone, he even said he didn’t have one. “Hey, your account has been viewing my instagram story.” Gemma told him which made him turned to her with furrowed brows. “I thought you said you lost access.”

“I did,” He walked over to her and looked down to her phone. She wasn’t kidding, his account did viewed her story.

They both looked at each other, strangely until an idea crept into Harry’s mind. “Message it. Ask who are they and why they’re using my account.”

Gemma thought, what could go wrong, it was his account after all so she clicked on the account and choose the option to send a message. 

_ “Yo. Who’s this and why are you on my brother’s account?” _

Gemma put her phone down after she sent the message. The account wasn’t online anyways so they probably won’t reply right away.

“Do you think that’s my ‘husband’ ?” Harry air quote the word husband with a rolled eyes. “Does he even have a name?!”

Gemma snorted. “Dean,” She told him. “I don’t know his last name though, you never told us.”

Harry’s face scrunched up in disgust. “But, I tell you everything!”   
  


“Not since you moved to London, you don’t.” Gemma shrugged. “You barely talk to us.” By us she was referring to herself and their mother. Or anyone in Harry’s past life, really. “We didn’t even know you were married till a week or something after the wedding, and that’s because I called.”

That doesn’t sound like him at all. Firstly, he’d tell Gemma and their mum everything. Secondly, if he ever get remarried (Not that he thinks he ever would because Louis was his everything) he’s sure that he’d invite his family and it’ll be a mega wedding.

Suddenly, something inside Harry started to think he doesn’t trust the person he became.

The sound of the doorbell, followed by knocking got Harry out of his thoughts but he heard Louis yelled “Coming!” so he doesn’t pay much attention to it and finished their cooking.

\--

“Coming!” The sound of knocking interrupted Louis’ conversation with Anne. Who could it be? No one’s ever visit him around this time on a sunday nowadays.

He opens his door to reveal a man- someone he’s never met before. The face was unfamiliar and maybe this person got the wrong house. He looked like he’s in his early thirties, the eyebags made him looked like he hasn’t slept in days and looks like he was growing his beard.

“Can I help you?” Louis broke the silence when the man in front of him won’t say anything and eyed him head to toe. 

He settled to stare back at Louis’ face before saying; “I’m looking for Harry.”

Harry?! As far as he’s concerned Harry hasn’t made a new friend the past few days he’s been here. So, where did this man come from?!

“And you are?” Louis asked before he calls Harry to come here.

The man doesn’t look like he’s in a good mood either, but he’s trying so hard not to lose his temper with this Louis. 

“I’m his husband.” He announced.

And oh- oh! This is the husband. He exists! He’s here- how does he know that Harry’s here?! Did the police told him to come here when Louis told them to inform him if someone turn up and look for Harry.

“Right, of course. I’m Louis-”

“His  _ ex  _ husband.” Dean nods once, finishing for Louis.

Louis hates to admit it but this man is intimidating, way too much for his liking. Who does he think he is to just show up after all this time Harry had been in the hospital?

But Louis isn’t going to just hand Harry to this man, now would he? “Did the police gave you my address? That’s funny, they told me they will call me if someone’s finally looking for Harry.”

Dean furrowed his brows, then nods with wide eyes. “Yeah- maybe they forgot. I wanted to pick him up myself.” Why the fuck would Harry’s ex husband ask the police to contact him if someone’s looking for Harry? as if he didn’t run home to his ex husband looking for help!

“Lou, dinner’s ready.” They both turned to where the voice is coming from, a familiar figure walks out of the kitchen’s door, stopping in his tracks when he saw someone by the door with Louis. 

Fuck.

There he is- standing a few feet away and staring right back at him. The worst part is Harry doesn’t look terrified or happy or even sad. He’s just staring like he doesn’t know who he is.

And not only that but he’s  _ glowing _ , he’s just like how he was when Dean first met him; before Dean made him divorce his husband, before he moved to London, way before they got together and watched Harry’s hopes and dreams flushed down the drain.

“Oh, you have a guest.” Harry smiled then waved at him. “Hi, I’m Harry.”

What?! Why is he acting like Dean doesn’t know who the fuck he is?!

“Actually, Harry,  _ you  _ have a guest.” Louis cleared his throat and turning his body to face his ex-husband. “He’s your husband.”

“He knows who I am.”  _ Keep your cool, Dean. Keep your cool till you get Harry alone so you can punish him for leaving like that. _

Harry looks stunned, staring back at forth between Louis and the unfamiliar man. How is this man his husband?! Where did they meet?! When did they got married? Where’s the proof?!

“Actually, he doesn’t.” Louis turned back to Dean. “He uh- suffered from a brain injury.”

What?! That sounds like a complete utter bullshit. Harry’s obviously making stuff up, he wants to just come up there and hit him right now.

Then Harry walks closer to them, linking his arms with Louis which-  _ which  _ made his blood boil inside, especially when he saw a ring on Harry’s finger, what is this man thinking?!

“I’m sorry,” Harry spoke first. “But I need proof if you are my husband.”

“Proof?!” Dean’s mouth dropped open. This is fucking stupid, why are they still doing this- he’s supposed to just pick Harry up, maybe fight him or even Louis if he had to but he wasn’t expecting this! He wasn’t expecting Harry to be this calm or to act like he doesn’t remember his own husband! 

Harry nods, he doesn’t look a bit scared of Dean which bothers him so much. Harry used to bow down to him! “You know, marriage certificate, maybe pictures and videos, wedding ring?”

Shit. He doesn’t think this is how it’ll turn out that he didn’t even bring Harry’s ring- wait! His phone! He has Harry’ phone! Okay. This is going to work out.

He pulled Harry’s phone from his back pocket and waved it around. “I’ve got your phone. I’m sure there’s pictures of us in here.” Because he doesn’t fucking have pictures of Harry in his phone that aren’t explicit. He should not go there yet.

“Well, do you know the password?” Harry challenged. “Because I wouldn’t, I don’t remember any of my passwords.”

But that was easy. “Face ID.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Harry begged to differ. What the fuck is Face ID?!

Louis turned to him, smiling fondly. Dean wants to punch him. “You can unlock your phone with your face, it’s been a thing for awhile now.”

Harry tries not to get too hyped up but that’s so fucking cool! He extends his hand as Dean hands him his phone, brushing his fingers with Harry which made Harry glanced at him in disgust, one hand still around Louis. 

He raised the phone up to his face, trying to figure out what to do. “Alright, so what do I-” And it works! Unlocked. “It worked!”

Dean smirked in success. 

“Love, what’s taking so long? Oh, hello.” Anne appeared behind them to see someone standing by the door. Dean knows it’s Harry’s mum though he never met her before. Because the GPS told him that Harry’s mum and sister were here too.

But Louis still won’t let him in, so instead he said. “You must be Harry’s mum, hello, I’m Dean- Harry’s husband.” 

Dean- that’s what Gemma said his name is! Fuck. What if this is all true?!

Anne walked closer to the two by the door, she looked confused but she still smiles. She doesn’t say anything though. This was not how she imagined meeting Harry’s new husband was going to be like. 

Harry was busy looking through his camera roll, there’s actually are pictures of his wedding- it doesn’t look fancy. It looks like it was done in a small chapel in Vegas. Not that Harry was against that but it was not Harry’s cup of tea. 

Still. It needs a lot more convincing than this.

“Guys! I’m hungry!” Gemma walked out seeing three people at the front door. “Everything’s okay?”

Harry turned to face her with pleading eyes, like he’s asking for backup.

“And Gemma! Harry’s sister.” Dean smirked grew bigger. He’s winging it so far. 

The only one who’s unimpressed here is Louis.

“I’m sorry,” Harry finally looked up from his phone. “But even if you are my husband, I don’t know who you are.”

Is Harry being serious right now?! He’s really acting like he doesn’t fucking remember Dean! And all these people around him actually believed him?!

Louis wanted to close the door already, he agreed with Harry. He can’t trust a stranger. But he also cares for Harry and remember what his doctor said that he should be going back to his normal daily routine.

“Why don’t we talk inside?” Louis finally decided.

\--

Dean absolutely hates it being seated on Louis’ sofa with his husband clinging to Louis’ side even when he put up a brave face, and not only that but his lawyer of a sister was actually asking him questions to proof that he is Harry’s husband. This is fucking stupid now he wished he met Harry’s family before.

“The police said they found a plane ticket in Harry’s wallet.” Gemma stated, she was glad she learned about the accident all day today from Louis. She was just curious to know what happened to her brother but now it’s useful. “He was headed to Los Angeles, he had a  _ one way  _ ticket. He had no phone with him. Do you know any of this?”

He looks over at Harry, he really looks like he doesn’t know who Dean is. So maybe if his lies were convincing enough they’ll believe him. “Well,” Dean cleared his throat. “As you all know I’m his manager.”

“You’re my  _ what _ ?!” Harry interrupted. Everyone looks as surprised as he is. 

Excluding Louis, he’s nothing but shocked, his mind zoned out to one of the worst nights of his life. 

\--

_ “My manager thinks marriage will do nothing but distracts me.” Harry told him, he was leaning against their bedroom’s door frame while Louis was getting ready for the ball.  _

_ He knew something was up when he got home and Harry hasn’t dress up yet. He just didn’t think Harry would ask for a divorce. _

_ Harry known this man for a week- over the phone, He’d known Louis his whole life and here he is, standing in front of Louis, asking for a divorce.  _

\--

This man wasn’t only Harry’s husband- this is the man that ruined their marriage. 

“As I was saying,  _ sweetheart. _ ” Dean shot a smile towards Harry, the green eyed boy’s grip on Louis’ arm tightens. Louis’ heart flutter at that. “Well, we got him a record deal in America, see.” He continued his false explanation. “Got him a one way flight ‘cause we weren’t sure when he’s going to be finished.” This was working, from the looks of everyone’s faces. “He left his phone, see, I didn’t realize until I tried calling him and his phone was on the nightstand. I thought he had gotten there safely until the label called me and asked why Harry wasn’t there yet.”

Harry looked pale, paler than he already is. “I- A record label signed me?”

Dean nodded, locking eyes with Harry. 

That was all bullshit. Harry doesn’t have what it takes to become a succesful singer/songwriter, Dean had worked with the music industry long enough to know Harry’s not good enough but he just thought Harry would be a nice fuck to keep around. Not that he was wrong about that.

Gemma glance at Harry, then at Louis, then at her mum, then finally turned to Dean again. 

There was one question she wants clarify on. 

“The police reported that Harry’s last updated marital status is divorced.” She stated, moving on from the previous question. “Divorced to Louis Tomlinson.” She raised an eyebrow. “Care to explain that?”

Oh, fuck.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? predictions? suggestions? let me at it ! :D


	9. Chapter 9

Why didn’t Dean think of this?!

This was something he can’t make an excuse of- not this fast anyways.

The real reason Harry’s last updated marital status is divorced was because he never married Harry. Not officially, at least.

He got Harry a ring, he dragged Harry’s intoxicated self to create a wedding scene and he was dumb enough to believe they got married the night they were in Las Vegas. He won’t ever marry Harry officially, no. Harry’s his boytoy. But he needs something to convince Harry that he belongs to no one but Dean. 

And he had it so good until Harry runaway and he found Harry with a fucking brain injury. He doesn’t even feel bad about it, Harry kinda deserves it though for trying to escape, he thought. 

Anyway- Gemma wanted answer. They all do.

“Well, we got married in America.” Was what he came up with. Which is fucking stupid when he’s talking to a lawyer. “Haven’t got the time to update the documents here in England. I have other clients and I have Harry- Harry has his writing and recording. Marriage certificate was the last thing on our mind. As long as we’re both happy.”

Harry wanted to gag, he’s only happy with Louis. He’s sure if his brain wasn’t fucked it would agree with his heart. 

“I don’t think it’s that hard-” 

“Well,  _ Dean _ .” Harry stopped his sister. He wants this man to leave already. He was starving and his head was starting to ache again, he needs to take his meds. “You are still a stranger to me right now, I have no memory at all of you and I’m not leaving to go with a stranger.”

This fucking piece of shit. “Well, you’re not going to remember me if you don’t at least give it a try.” Dean forced a loving smile upon his face anything to get Harry back under him. 

And he wasn’t wrong. It was literally the doctor’s order. But Harry shakes his head, he really want Dean to leave. He was about to have a nice  _ family  _ dinner with the people he loved the most and this stranger had to show up out of nowhere and ruined their night!

“Harry, I think he’s right.” Everyone turned to Louis when he spoke.

Yes, Louis doesn’t know this man long enough to hate him but he hates this man; this man was the person that encourage Harry to divorce him, this man wasn’t there for Harry when he’s in a coma but this man could also help Harry gain his memory back.

It’s not about who Louis hates, it’s about Harry and the sake of his brain!

Harry turned to face him. “Lou, no.” 

He could see the hurt in Harry’s eyes when he heard Louis thinks this fucking stranger is right. Especially when Harry’s certain he doesn’t want to leave Louis. Ever. 

“Can I talk to you, privately?” Louis asks and Harry nods, they got up from the sofa and go to the other room- the kitchen that is, leaving Gemma and Anne with Dean and Louis hoped Gemma’s asking him more questions regarding their marriage. 

For a second there, Louis forgot what he’s going to stay, he was just there staring at the man he’s about to lose all over again, especially when he’s staring at Louis with pleading eyes. Hell, Louis didn’t want him to leave too.

“Listen, Harry.” Louis sighed. He has to do this. He knows this was coming. He knows this; Harry back in his house, all in love with him again wasn’t permanent. “This might help you and we want you to be okay again.”

No, no- “Louis, I only love  _ you.” _

Louis smiles fondly at his hus- ex husband, caressing his soft cheeks with his fingers. He shouldn’t say this- it’s dangerous. But he never lied to Harry and he’s not about to start. 

“I only love you too.” He told Harry, a smile still on his face. After all this time since Harry returned and had said it, this had to be the time he said it back. “It’s why I want you to at least try to regain your memory.”

Harry shakes his head, his tears already pooling around his eyes. “I can’t-”

“Hey, didn’t you tell me you’re going to remember everything but you won’t remember falling out of love with me?” Louis took both of his hands, holding them close to his chest.

Harry nods. “Because I never did,” 

Louis leaned in to kiss his forehead. “Then you’ll come back to me.” Louis whispered, like it was a secret that only the two of them can know. “But you need to remember and this might help.”

“I’m scared, Lou.” Harry admitted, letting his tears rolled down his cheeks. His head was spinning, he needs to sit down- he doesn’t need this right now, leaving Louis, that is. “I don’t know him.”

Louis understand that, he was scared too.

Scared for so many reasons; scared that Dean will hurt Harry, scared that Harry won’t remember even if he went back home with that man, scared that Harry will fall in love with him, scared that he’ll lose Harry all over again.

But this isn’t about him. This is about Harry. And if Harry chose that guy once he could do it again. Louis had no rights to stop them.

“Hey, I’m always here if you’re in need.” Louis rests his forehead against Harry’s, one hand reached to wipe Harry’s tears away. “In case of emergencies, remember?”

Harry let out a chuckle then, between tears. Louis was right and he remembers.  _ In case of emergencies _ . Suddenly, he thinks it may why he still have Louis’ number inside his wallet, because he knows Louis will rescue him. 

“If you need anything, please call me.” Louis reassured. “But I need you to give this a try. This might work out, love.”

Harry needs time to think this through though. He can’t just leave right this second. This was all too overwhelming. 

“Okay,” He gave in. “But not right now, not tonight.”

Louis nods. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Tomorrow then.”

Louis nods again, anything for his baby. 

“Can you tell him to leave now? I need to sit down.”

“Of course,” Louis kissed his forehead again before leaving Harry and went back to where everyone was.

Harry was listening to Louis when he announced that Dean should just come back tomorrow and it took Louis a view minutes of convincing but from the help of Gemma, he finally decided to leave but asked if he could say goodbye to Harry, that’s when Anne stepped in and dismissed him so he said he’ll be back in the morning to pick Harry up. 

Harry wish tonight never ends. 

  
  


\--

Dinner was silent with what just happened. He really hated that 10 minutes ago some stranger just showed up and claimed to be his husband. 

Harry didn’t return the phone though. It was his after all and it’s the only way he has access to his accounts and emails again.

He was actually looking at everything he can find in his phone after dinner. He still thinks his iphone is way cooler than the one he remembered. With the face ID and all, they’re actually living in the future.

Anyways, he was trying to remember if any of these emails ring a bell. He went through texts, direct messages, emails and pictures. He doesn’t even remember posting the most recent activities which was all about a month ago.

Somehow he managed to go through his old emails, from a few years back. Personal ones and business related one. He found Dean’s name a few times but he managed to scroll down the first email Dean sent him. It was still there!

He decided to give it a chance, skimming through the words. 

_ Dear Harry Styles, _

_ First of all, I’d like to introduce myself, I’m Dean Adams from Adams Management. _

_ My team and I here at AM are massive fans of your voice and your nicely done song covers also original songs we found on youtube. _

_ It’ll be our pleasure to- _

_ \-- _

_ “It’ll be our pleasure to have you as our musical partner. We can help you get record deals with the biggest known label in England!” Harry reads his recent email to his husband. “If you are interested, let us know for further discussion, it’ll be very lovely to hear from you soon. Thank you, best regards, Dean- Louis!” He squealed, excitedly.  _

_ Did he or did he not just got an offer to team up with one of the biggest management teams across England! _

_ Louis was smiling from ear to ear watching his husband that was seated on his lap at his study.  _

_ “Did you reply then? When are you meeting him?” Louis was as excited as Harry is. He could tell how sad Harry had been from dropping out of school and spends his nights singing in bars where most people are usually too drunk to pay attention to him. He needed this.  _

_ Harry was still squealing. “Of course I replied! He even called me earlier!” Harry told him, the biggest smile on his face. “Said he’ll be here next Thursday since he’ll be in town as well.” _

_ “Thursday?” The smile on Louis’ face dropped. _

_ Harry knows what this means. “Please tell me you can make it Thursday.” _

_ “I-” Louis sighed. “I’m meeting a client Thursday.”  _

_ At all times! They both had to have important meetings on the same day! Especially when he really needs his husband with him! _

_ But, he’s a grown man, he doesn’t always have to cling to Louis, does he?  _

_ “That’s alright, I’ll meet him myself I guess.” Harry shrugged, still smiling because he didn’t want to drag Louis down. He can do this without Louis. It was just one meeting with his potential manager. No big deal. _

_ It’s not like he’s signing anything. _

_ “You sure, love?” Louis asked, squeezing his husband’s hips. _

_ Harry nods, leaning down to kiss him. They both can’t sacrifice their career just because they can’t be there for one another. _

_ \-- _

Harry blinked, dropping his phone on his lap.

What was that?!

Did he just had a flashback of reading an email sent two years ago?!

Oh god, he did!

“Louis!” He called, standing up from the sofa and ran upstairs to Louis’ study where he knows Louis is. He doesn’t know where his mum and Gemma are though, probably catching up on the new episode of Love Island.

The older man turned on his chair when Harry walked in. “Louis! I remember!” He exclaimed, waving his phone around.

“What?” Louis said it in almost a whisper, slowly standing up from his chair.

Harry nods, repeatedly. “I did! I was reading this email, see?” Harry showed Louis his phone. “And I remembered when I read it to you!”

Louis was reading the email then he looked up with widened eyes. “Harry, that’s great!”   
  


“Of course, I don’t remember everything everything but-”

He was attacked with the tightest hug from Louis before he could finish, he starts giggling and struggles out of Louis grip because he needed to breathe!   
  


“I’m so proud of you!” Louis doesn’t care if he only remember one small part of something that happened two years ago or if he magically remembered everything. Progress is progress and he was making progress, that’s what matters. “So proud of you.” He whispered, still hugging the boy tight. 

\--

_ “I’m so proud of you.” Louis told him the next morning when he’s about to leave for work and Harry’s going to see his potential manager in a few hours. _

_ Harry doesn’t want Louis to let go, he needed Louis’ emotional support more than anything right now and this hug was reassuring that he gets as much support as he needs. “So proud of you, love.” Louis pulled away only to press his lips against Harry’s. _

_ This was equally as good as the hug. “I love you,” Harry told him when they pulled away from each other. “You’re gonna smash your meeting!” _

_ “And you will as well!” Louis grinned. “I love you.” _

_ There’s something about Louis that screams that he’s the one for Harry. _

_ Harry knows this, he never doubt Louis. After all, his nana once told him; pick someone who’s supportive.  _

_ And he never felt luckier he found Louis.  _

_ \-- _

Harry pulled away from the hug, furrowing his brow as he stares at Louis.

“What?” Louis asked, concerned. Harry just zoned out. 

Harry shakes his head. “Do you remember the morning before my first meeting?”

Louis nods. “Yeah- wait, you-”

“I remembered!” Harry cried tears of joy streaming down his face. This was only getting better and better. 

And Louis thought, this was only Harry’s first day of being reunited with Dean. He could really help Harry regain his memory one piece after another. Maybe going home was the best idea for Harry after all. 

And soon enough, when Harry remembers more things than he forgot. He’ll remember why he left, he’ll remember falling out of love with Louis, he remembers falling for Dean, he wouldn’t wanna go back here. 

But again, this isn’t about Louis.

This is about Harry and how much he deserves to gain his memory back. Especially when it’s the memories of the most important part of his life.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheheee, yes I posted another update within a day because the comments on the last chapter got me excited !!!
> 
> Thoughts on everything so far? :) xx


	10. Chapter 10

If you ask Louis, what hurts more than watching the love of your life walks away from you, he would say; to watch him do it all over again. 

He kept telling himself, this is bound to happen, Harry’s husband going to take Harry back to his daily routine and Louis will get back to his; the one without Harry.

And he thought just because he kept telling himself this, it’ll hurt less. But it doesn’t. If anything it hurts even more.

The thing was he known Harry his whole life. They grew up together and they thought they’ll grow old together. But nothing ever goes as planned, now does it? Just like how he kept telling himself last night, when Harry was locked in his arms that he’ll be fine and so will Harry. So why does it hurt just as bad?

No one told his eleven year old self that the boy who always tried to be his friend, who’d come up to Louis and his other friends on a snowy day and ask if he could join them is the same boy that’ll break his heart. Time and time again it seemed. 

_ “Get lost,” Niall threw a snowball at the younger boy, Zayn and Liam snickering behind them. Louis glares at his friends. _

_ They didn’t need to pick on someone who’s barely their size. “Hey, leave him alone.” Louis told his best friends, watching the younger boy run away crying. “Look what you did!” _

_ “He’ll get over it, it doesn’t even hurt, right, Liam?” Zayn said as he throws a snowball at Liam. _

_ Of course the brown eyed boy got angry and bent down to scoop a handful of snow and threw it at Zayn’s face. “Not the face!” Zayn yelled and the three boys started throwing more snowballs at each other.  _

_ Louis couldn’t be a part of them right now, he just rolled his eyes at them then chased over the boy- Harry, he thinks the boy’s name is. How could people treat him so poorly? He has such a big heart, Louis saw him split his sandwich for a stray dog once. _

_ “Hey!” Louis caught him when he found the boy sitting on snow, hugging his knees as he sobs, only look up when he heard Louis’ boots against the snow comes closer to him. “Why’d you run away? I thought we were going to build a snowman.” And the boy looked up at him with a smile, as if Niall hadn’t pelted him with that snowball, as if Louis had offered him the sun and all the rest of the stars, but the only star Louis could see was Harry. Little did he know that when the boy grew he would take all the light away from Louis and leave him broken in the dark.  _

And no one told his fifteen year old self, that the boy who cost him his science project, which was worth 40% of his grade, would come back into his life when he thought he’s finally getting over said boy.

_ “Louis, no!” Harry cried, holding the frog in his palms closer to his chest.  _

_ Niall screamed, he hates frogs or any other reptiles there are and he’s scared that the slimy texture of the frog would cause it to slip out of Harry’s grasp.  _

_ “Harry, I need to do my homework!” Louis tried getting his frog back but Harry moved backwards until his back hit a wall. They were in the school’s lab and Zayn had his camera ready to shoot Louis dissecting the frog but now he’s focused on Harry and Louis fighting over a frog. _

_ At this point, Niall was standing on the table, screaming like a baby and Liam was yelling at the two, begging them to stop fighting.  _

_ “You can do your homework without hurting an innocent life!” Harry glared and turned around, freeing the frog through the window.  _

_ Louis can’t believe Harry just did that! _

_ “Harry!” The four of them scream in unison- even Niall who was glad the frog was out of their sight.  _

_ But the youngest of the group just shook his head. “Pick something else as your project! Don’t be selfish!” _

_ “Way to go, Tommo, this is what you get for inviting your boyfriend to our project.” Zayn emphasis on the word boyfriend.  _

_ Louis rolled his eyes at his best friend. “He’s not my boyfriend!” _

_ “Right, who wants to date a killer anyway!” Harry fought back before storming out of the science lab without any other word being said. _

_ Way to go, Tommo indeed.  _

_ The four of them was silent for a couple of minutes. Catching that frog was not as easy as Harry setting it free! _

_ “Now what?” Niall asked, “The project’s due tomorrow.”  _

_ Oh, they’re doomed.  _

And no one told his seventeen years old self that his  _ best friend  _ is the same guy that’s about to leave him all over again. 

_ “What are you guys doing here?” Harry appeared, going around Liam’s car where the boys were all huddled up together, he made the four boys jump, Niall had to put his hands behind his back to hide the dope. “What’s that?” _

_ “Nothing, what are you doing here?” Liam distracted him. Harry sniffs in the air. He knows what weed smells like when he spent an entire summer with his Aunt Catalina. She’s the coolest aunt for a reason.  _

_ Harry gasped when he realized what Niall was hiding. “Are you smoking pot?! On school’s property?” _

_ They all turned to Louis, it was because of him that Harry always tagged along their group. He’s a nice boy, he really is. But sometimes he’s just too nice for their liking. _

__

_ “That’s not fair! I’m always the last to know everything!” Harry pouted, crossing his arms across his chest. Being two years their junior really had him left behind on what they’re up to next. “I want to try!” _

_ Zayn laughs. “Harry, you’re a child.”  _

_ “So are you guys!” Harry turned to Louis for backed up. Louis always backs him up.  _

_ But Zayn was right. And not only was Zayn’s right but Louis might be starting to have feelings for this boy, he doesn’t want him to ever get in trouble or messes up his brain. Also, he’s only fifteen! _

_ “Come on, young Harold, we can have fun without it.” Louis told him instead, wrapping his arms around the boy’s shoulder and lead him away from their friends. He wasn’t scared of getting caught, he was scared of Harry getting caught. “Now, why don’t we go get some ice cream instead?” _

And no one told him that at the age of 27, losing Harry again would hurt even more than losing him the first time. Whatever idiot said “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all,” could jump in a well for all Louis cared. He’d much rather face the emptiness of not knowing than the gaping hole that he’s felt both times Harry has left him. He had just seemed to haphazardly sewn that hole shut, and now, with the boys second departure the scars of old wounds have been opened and it seems as though the gaping hole Louis thought couldn’t get bigger after the first time has grown double in size. No amount of sewing or stamping or taping or what have you could remotely cloe that hole a second time because no one told him he’ll still be in love with the boy who had ruined him, after all these years. It’s Harry and it’s always been Harry.

He can’t escape Harry. 

“We should go now, I don’t want to get caught with traffic.” Dean laughs- it was barely eight in the morning but Harry was already hugging his family goodbye because Dean showed up. 

He walks over to Louis lastly, staring at him with pleading eyes that were screaming  _ save me! _

But Louis is convinced Harry will save himself when he regains his memory. When he remembers what chapter in his life he’s in right now. When he remembers he’s in love with Dean and not Louis. And Louis has to remember that, Harry is in love with Dean, Harry chose Dean, Harry thought Louis was holding him back. Much like the first time, although Louis can feel it tearing him into pieces, he has to let Harry be happy, let him walk away again, because that’s what Harry wanted. 

“Thank you,” Harry whispered before hugging his husband- he doesn’t care what everyone says, he still can’t remember that they’re divorced. To Harry, this man was still his husband and the man by the front door waiting for him is a stranger. But he’s doing this for himself, soon enough, he’ll come home to Louis.

After all, home  _ is  _ Louis. 

“God knows where I’d be right now if you hadn’t shown up at the hospital.” He chuckled, nervously. Slowly pulling away from the hug, even though they both didn’t wanna let go. “I don’t remember exactly why I left the first time, but I’m sorry.” He apologized over this again. He really wanted to say  _ I was an idiot back then, I love you, please don’t let me go _ but instead all he said was, “I’ll see you soon, okay?” 

He didn’t want Harry to make promises he couldn’t keep. But he can’t say that to Harry when the boy was certain he’ll come here again. That he’ll fix his marriage with Louis.

“Okay,” Louis croaked out, the unfallen tears of sleepless nights to come brimming his eyes. “In case of emergencies, remember?”

Harry smiled, his green eyes twinkled. “ _ Always _ .” 

Dean rolled his eyes, he can’t believe Harry’s flirting right in front of his eyes! He’s going to punish this boy big time tonight. He already made a mental list of the things Harry had done the past two weeks and this boy is still adding things into said list.

“Take care.” Louis told him, still holding the tips of his fingers. He doesn’t want to let go. He did once and look where it got him!  _ But you have to _ , his subconscious reminded him.

Dean cleared his throat. “Harry,”

Harry glanced at Dean then back at Louis. “I love you.” He said it out loud, without shame, he didn’t care if Dean heard him. What’s he going to do?! Then he took off his ring, he knows it’s in better hands if Louis keep it, he put the ring on the palm of Louis’ hand. “Keep it somewhere safe.” That part, however, he whispered.

“I love you.” Louis finally let go only to watch Harry walks away, then Dean wrapped his arms around the sad boy, leading him to leave faster.

Fuck. Is that it? He lost Harry quicker than he did the first time. But he didn’t need to compare them. Because both were painful, but Louis knew this one hurts far worse. He had only known life with Harry previously and because of what happened all those years ago he now knows what life without Harry feels like, and he hates it. Harry is the love of his life. No one else is possible of making him feel this way.

“Take your meds!” Louis yelled when the car was already driving away, getting further and further away from him. 

It was Anne that hugged him. “I’m so sorry,” She whispered. “So sorry.”

Louis forced a smile upon his face. It wasn’t Anne’s fault, it wasn’t anyone actually. It’s just how things are and the way things should be. Everything is right where it should be now. Harry’s with his husband. Louis is back with his lonely sad self but as long as Harry’s going to be alright, everything will be fine. 

\--

The car ride for the first fifteen minutes was silent except for the radio that was playing in a small volume. Harry was trying his best not to cry, leaving the love of his life just like that, as if it didn’t feel like he was tearing his body in two pulling away from Louis that last time.

Instead, he kept himself busy with looking around the car, scanning his eyes for anything that might help gain parts of his memory back. He needed his memory back, it was the only way he could go running back home and away from this stranger, so with tenues vigor he glanced around.

Alright, there was a half-drunk coffee cup on the cup holder, looks like Dean just got it about an hour ago or something, there’s nothing familiar about the beige leather seats, nothing familiar about the song playing on the radio, but there’s a miniature golden retriever on the dashboard with it’s bobbing head, something about it made Harry stare, something familiar.

\--

_ “See, I told you, it goes with your car.” Harry played with the bobbing head of the miniature golden retriever on Dean’s dashboard.  _

_ Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” _

_ “You know I bought Louis something like this for his car, but instead of a dog it’s a frog with a bobbing head.” He smiled, fondly. “It’s kind of an inside joke between us, the frog, we had a fight over it once in middle school because he’s going to dissect this frog-” _

_ “Harry, I don’t give a crap about your frog or your ex husband.” Dean cuts him off, the smile on Harry’s face disappeared. _

_ He was just trying to make conversation with his boyfriend. Dean doesn’t like talking during car rides which bothers Harry because he hates sitting in silence. Especially because Dean doesn’t like it when he turns up the radio and starts singing. _

_ \-- _

“Why are you staring at that fucking dog?” Dean interrupted his thoughts. 

He turned to face who’s supposedly his husband. “I gave this to you, didn’t I?” He pointed to the said miniature.

Dean glance at it before looking back at the road. “Yeah, yeah- you remember?”

“A little,” Harry shrugged then he dared asked. “Were you always that intolerant with me?”

He snorted, eyes still on the road. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like, you tend to shut me up when I’m trying to make a conversation.” He explained and the older man scoffed at him. 

Okay, maybe, he just didn’t like talking during car rides. Maybe sitting in silent was much better than dealing with him. 

But after awhile of ignoring each other again, Dean broke their silence, once again, breaking Harry’s train of thought. “So where were you really heading the night of the crash?” He asked. 

What?! He thought Dean knew, he said it himself Harry got a record deal in America.

“I thought you said-”

“Where you  _ really  _ heading, my love.” Dean reached over to squeeze his thigh, Harry tried not to flinch.

So what? The story was utter bullshit?! Dean is his supposedly husband and he had no idea where Harry was going, did he even know Harry was leaving?!

“I mean, I know, you’re headed for Los Angeles, but why there?” Dean continued when he realized Harry zoned out again.

He glances at Harry to make sure he’s still alive because of how silent he is.

“I lost my memory, I assumed  _ you _ know from your story!” Harry shakes his head in disbelief.

But Dean didn’t said anything to that, he just smirked and give Harry’s thigh another squeeze except this time Harry swatted his hand off of him.

He doesn’t want Dean to touch him like this especially because he just lied his way out of Louis- oh fuck. He’s left Louis and now he’s in a car with a stranger.

“I was just kidding, babe.” Dean told him when he saw that Harry pulled out his phone. “Once we settled back home, we can call that record deal again, what do you say?”

There was never a record deal, Dean never tried to hook Harry with one. He never really tried hard for Harry even from the start. Harry’s just dumb enough to stick around to the point where he can’t ever escape Dean.

And once again, he’s under Dean’s control. 

But Harry doesn’t know that- or he doesn’t remember it at least. So at the mention of contacting his potential label, he lights up. He wrote a couple of songs before and he’s sure he wrote some more even though he doesn’t remember them.

“Yeah, that’d be amazing.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update I've been travelling bc I have a job interview and i fell in love with the city so i've been spending days and nights at the beach and I have to do a demo lesson tomorrow wish me luck that they'll hire me lmao !!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter <3 
> 
> WARNINGS : A lot of things that might be triggering are in the upcoming chapters, I will of course put out a warning if there's any nasty scene but if it's too bothering for you, I always try to minimize the scenes as much as possible but if you feel triggered at the slightest then I really suggest to stop reading because my fic is never meant to hurt anyone's well-being. thank you. love you all<3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ BEFORE PROCEEDING THIS CHAPTER !
> 
> WARNINGS : Physical abuse !!!! (I add * before and after any triggering scenes so you know where to skip if you choose not to read it)
> 
> this fic is not meant to hurt anyone ! read at your own risk!

Harry survived the awkward five hours drive with Dean. Thank fuck.

But now it’s even more awkward ‘cause he’s in a house that doesn't ring any bells and and his supposed husband is the only person in the house with him.

“So, uh, what do I usually do on the daily?” He asked, looking around the house.

The house was nice, the sofa nearby looks comfortable and everything was clean and organized, Harry hoped that he’s the one that decorated the living room because he already loves it more than he loves this stranger- not that he does, but what if he falls for him?!

Dean shrugged, throwing his car keys in the kitchen counter and grab a can of beer from the fridge. He’s not usually here in this time of the day, fuck knows what Harry does when he’s at work.

“I mean, sometimes you work on your music.” Dean chugged down his beer, yes, that’s usually is what Harry do. He works day and night to improve himself.  _ Oh, how pathetic, you will never be good enough _ . Dean thought to himself with a smirk on his face.

Harry smiles at that. “Well, where do I keep my guitar?” It must be around here somewhere- or was it in the car the night of the crash?! No way, he reckons having more than one guitar he couldn’t possibly brought all three and he’s sure he got more over the years.

“Upstairs,” Dean told him. “In  _ our _ room.”

Oh no, here comes the awkward talk Harry’s been dying to have with him. “Listen, about that,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t think I’m ready to sleep on the same bed as you so I’ll just take the couch.”

*

“No, baby, how are you supposed to remember if you don’t even wants to sleep with me?” Dean walked over to Harry, his beer can safely wrapped around his grip then his free hand pulled Harry closer making the younger boy collided with his chest. “It’ll help so much, trust me. And I’ve missed you so bad.” 

Harry opens his mouth to say something but then he felt his phone vibrates in his pocket, knowing it will be Louis, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and smiled stupidly when he read the text. 

_ “All settled in yet? Call me if you need anything x” _

He was about to reply when Dean snatched his phone away. “No, no, darling, if you want to remember, you don’t text your ex husband.”

Harry glared at him. He doesn’t remember, yes, but he knows Dean is just jealous of his relationship with Louis

“In my head he’s current husband so excuse yourself and give me my phone back-” Harry tried to reach for his phone but Dean slipped it in his pocket, a proud smirk plastered on his face.

This is not going to be easy. “I think that’s enough phone for you today, hm?” Dean’s hand slides down his back, resting on top of his bum, giving it a squeeze, Harry flinched at the touch. “I’ve had enough of your misbehaviour.”  _ And what? His misbehavior? Harry is just simply being the person he knows he is and this stranger is chastising him like he’s Harry’s mother.  _ He pulled Harry closer to him and give him another squeeze, Harry struggles beneath his tight grip. “You really thought you could try and run away from me?” He chuckled, evilly. “I don’t ever wants to see you try to escape again, you hear me?!”

Harry’s nothing but confused, still struggling to get himself off of this creep. “Let me go!”

“I will, darling, after I teach you a lesson.” Dean drags him upstairs, the younger boy still tries to get off of him but it was useless. Dean was much stronger than he is, not to mention the amount of fear coursing through Harry’s veins rendering him utterly powerless and at the mercy of this man who seems to becoming more of a monster the longer Harry is in his presence. There is no way Harry left Louis for this man, no way he left his  _ home _ for this  _ prison.  _

Harry was collided with what he thinks is their bedroom floor, he looked up with glassy eyes, confused as ever. “Are you really my husband?!” He asked, trying not to cry. What the fuck did he just get himself into?   
  


Dean smirked, cupping his chin with one hand. “Yes, darling, I’m your husband and you’re my little slutty housewife, aren’t you?”

“No! What the fuck-” Harry was cut off with Dean’s fingers digging into his cheeks, so hard, Harry’s sure it ought to leave a mark. “Let me go!” Harry tried to speak between Dean’s fingers, squeezing his cheeks together as far as they go.

Dean just laughs. “Now, now, baby, I believe I have a lesson to teach you. Still as dumb and nïave as ever, it’s a good thing you’re pretty isn’t it? Now where were we?”

*

\--

Louis looked down at his phone again, still no reply from Harry. Maybe he’s doing great at home, maybe he’s okay and is starting to recollect memories and has he remembered why they stopped talking in the first place.

“Do you wanna go out tonight?” Stan’s head appeared on his door before he reveals his whole body and let himself in Louis’ office. “It might stop you from mourning.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “I’m not mourning.”

“Sure you’re not.” Stan said, sarcastically before he went to sit on the chair across Louis’ desk, making himself comfortable like he always does. “I’m sure he’s alright, mate. I mean did he ever once complained about his husband before the accident?”

Louis sighs. “How should I know? He never complained to me.”  _ Never even fucking talked to me.  _

Stan nods. “Right, right. Well this time if something’s wrong, I'm sure he will let you know. So don’t worry. Just let him get used to his normal daily routine.” 

Okay, Stan had a point. He had to let Harry go like he did the first time. But this was so much worse than the last time, Louis was sure he wasn’t this bad when they went through their divorce. 

\--

_ “Does anyone have a charger?” Louis asked his mates who were busy downing their drinks and talk to each other.  _

_ They were at their favorite pub after work, celebrating for Louis’ success on his upcoming project, building the new concert hall that is. A few weeks ago when he told Harry about this, they were both excited, Harry was fine with how busy Louis gets since he got the offer and had been on tons of after working hours meeting with his client. _

_ Then the news came where Harry might get signed, then not long after that came Harry asking for the divorce, and finally moving out.  _

_ “Relax, mate, you’re still on 20%” Stan looked over Louis’ phone, he looked slightly panicked that he doesn’t have a charger, as if he’s waiting for someone to call. But they all know his clients were a little more quiet now than the first two weeks and they could easily email him if he doesn’t pick up his phone.  _

_ Louis shakes his head, turning to Stan. “What if he calls?”  _

_ Stan had been dealing with this since Harry moved out, he’s dealt with Louis panicking when his phone rings because he thought it was Harry calling, he’s dealt with Louis calling him in the middle of the night asking if Stan could call him back to see if his phone’s working, he’s dealt with Louis crying for days after realizing that, again, Harry hadn’t called and as the days turned into weeks that, no, Harry wasn’t going to call. So instead he’d show up to work and try to make it seem as if nothing had happened and everything was fine.  _

_ Louis doesn’t deserve to feel this shitty.  _

_ “He’s not going to call past midnight, Tommo.” Stan sighed. “Relax, will you? Everything will be just fine.” _

_ \-- _

But maybe this was worse than the first time, no matter how Louis tries to distract himself, his mind kept going back to Harry. How is he doing? Why can’t he text back?

*

So when he’s home where Stan can’t stop him, he decided to call Harry. It’s ringing, there’s that. he waits; one ring, two rings, three rings, four- “What?!” Someone grunted on the other line, doesn’t sounds like Harry- oh, it’s  _ him _ . 

“Hey, uh, is Harry with you?”

“Harry’s asleep, mate.” Dean told him, quite disinterestedly. “He’s all worn out from round four,” Then he chuckled at his own words, Louis tried not to imagine it. He’s been there for what- a few hours and he already had four rounds?! Four rounds of  _ what  _ exactly? And Louis  _ knew _ what four rounds of but he tried to ignore the way it made his heart stop beating momentarily and instead ache.

So Louis swallowed his spit before saying. “Can you ask him to call me back later then or-”

“Listen,  _ mate _ , I don’t know what you expect when he came home with me.” Dean cuts him off, he heard someone whimpering in the background of the other line. “But Harry and I are together again. And once again, you’re out of the picture so we’d really appreciate it if you’d leave us the fuck alone.”

*

Louis opened his mouth to say something but before he could even let out the wind those words knocked out of him, Dean cut off him off with the sound of an ended call.

Oh, is that what Harry wants then?

\--

*

Harry cried, struggling out of the rope on his wrists, but nothing’s working, he can’t get himself off of the bedpost, he was forced to lie there while Dean picked up his phone where he told Harry, with an evil laugh, that Louis was calling. 

“I’ve had enough of your ex husband.” He placed Harry’s phone inside the nightstand drawer, he didn’t bother locking it, knowing Harry’s hands are occupied with the rope. “Oh, look at that- all my marks are fading.” Dean’s fingers brushed against the bruises on his back, he reached down to the floor where he threw his pants and pulled out his belt. “You’ve been gone for too long, haven’t you? Well, don’t worry, I’ll happily give you new marks. So everyone will know who you fucking belongs to.”

Harry’s throat was dry from crying so much, he had been tied up on his bed all day and Dean had destroyed him physically and mentally. First he fucked Harry’s throat, said it was to shut him up. Then he tied Harry to the bed and take him from behind.

He disappeared for a few hours, leaving Harry helpless before returning and stick his cock inside of Harry once more. Then not long after that, he pulled out a vibrator, it wasn’t big or anything but he kept it inside Harry, letting it vibrate inside Harry for what seemed like two hours now and is still currently inside him right now.

No matter how loud he cries and begs him to stop, Dean wouldn’t listen, he just keep on taking Harry like he’s nothing but a sex toy.  _ Maybe you are _ his mind supplied but Harry had to fight against that thought. It’s what Dean wanted him to think.

“Please don’t,” Harry cried when he looks up to his Dean folding his belt into two.

Oh no, is this where all his bruises and scratches came from?! Did Dean used to do this often to Harry? Fuck, what did he do to Dean? How could this man be so cruel to him?!

“Please, I’m so tired, Dean-Ah!” He felt the belt against his back, tears come pouring down instantly. “Please-” He tried again only to earn another smack on his back, then another one, then another one.

Before Dean moved down to his bum, giving it at least five smacks that made Harry screamed out in pain.

The next one came down his bum again, only this time, it was Dean’s palm instead of the belt, Harry screamed once more, closing his eyes tightly and trying to think of anything other than what’s going on right now.

*

\--

  
  


It had been around two weeks since the phone call and Louis had never heard from Harry. He had no idea how the boy was doing and if he was okay. The boy’s name had practically been blacklisted from his friends mouth in conversations but their eyes all gave it away. They all saw how this radio silence had been affecting Louis; the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, the way his eyes were red rimmed from hours of crying some days, and how sunken in his cheeks were because he hadn’t been eating properly. Despite all of this, he had to keep telling himself that this was for the best. Harry’s happy now. That’s what’s important and maybe he could just lie to himself and pretend those few days with Harry never happened.  _ But they did, _ his mind reminded him, flashing moments of those few days before his eyes,  _ they happened and he was your Harry again, and you let him walk away. _

Much to his relief as well as displeasure, the lads were in town this week because they’ve planned this for months now, a road trip reunion. He thought -even though he applied for his annual leave before Harry’s accident- that his boss might cancel the leave due to the fact he took more than a week off when Harry was in the hospital.

But after all, Louis is his favorite employee and he knows Harry as well back from when they were still together so he let that slide and still let him take his leave.

It was hard not to remember those days Harry was awake and back in his house when the lads kept asking him about it, since they never got a chance to see Harry during his recovery. Truth was, just like Louis, Harry lost contact with them when the divorce was final.

Which was pretty sad considering they’re Harry’s friends just as much as they are Louis’ and the boys agreed but Harry didn’t want to be associated with Louis’ friends back then.

“I know we never actually planned on having Harry to come with us.” Liam said, it was his turn to drive. They were headed for Brighton, it was a long drive and none of them could shut their mouths about Harry. “But when you told us he’s staying with you, I thought he’d stay long enough to come with.”

Niall agreed, nodding his head, he was seated in the front next to Liam. “Yeah, I was hoping he would.”

Louis wanted all of them to shut up about Harry already, but they were his friends as well. He understands that they missed him even though they’ve been avoiding the subject since the divorce.

“Do you remember when Harry released our science project out the window?” Zayn snorted, reminiscing. “Ni, you called him frog-face for months after that!”

Louis can’t help but smile at the memory of young Harry arguing with them over a frog.

“I called him that before that incident, get your stories straight.” Niall defended himself, not that he needed to anyway. “I just called him that a lot more after what he did, kept saying he’s trying to save his kind.”

_ “Yeah, but he’s my frog, isn’t he?”  _ Louis’ own voice rings repeatedly in his head. That’s what he said when Niall kept addressing Harry as such after they started dating. Harry never really minded the name, they all had mocking names to each other.

In fact, they had a whole discussion on what they are if they were animals.

\--

_ “That’s silly! A hedgehog can’t marry a frog!” Harry pouted, crossing his arms when Liam told them that Louis’ animal would be a hedgehog. No one was listening to him though, except for Louis who’s heart was fluttering at the thought of marrying Harry someday. “And why am I stuck with the frog just because Niall made fun of me in middle school?!” _

_ Niall shrugged. “Cos you look like one.” _

_ Zayn was busy thinking of his animal, he’s surprised Liam hasn’t suggested one for him considering he had one for himself, Louis and Niall. (They all agreed Niall’s a deer but Niall said he’s not, they ignored him) _

_ “Can I be a wolf?” Zayn asked around the table but seemed like no one’s interested in this conversation anymore. _

_ Louis was busy whispering in Harry’s ear about how much of a cute frog he is, Harry giggling in Louis’ arms, Niall was looking down at his phone trying to find quizzes about spirit animals and Liam was eyeing his crush who just walked in the cafeteria. _

_ Considering how gross Louis and Harry are being right now, he complained about them to get their attention back. “Lads, do your dirty talk elsewhere.” Zayn joked but Louis turned to face him with his brow furrowed. _

_ Louis stuck his tongue out at Zayn before turning back to Harry, “I’d marry you Harry. Get it? Because it rhymes? Even if I was a hedgehog and you were a frog, I’d find you and marry you, save you from whatever nasty person tried to capture you and hurt you for a science project. I’ll always find you and save you.”  _

_ And well, with the grin that nearly split Harry’s face in half Zayn supposes is Louis had to be gross with anyone he's glad it’s this dimpled, frog faced boy. _

_ \-- _

As if Liam was sharing the same flashbacks as Louis, he sighed and said. “I miss Harry,”

Louis didn’t say anything to that, even when the other two agree. Because, fuck. He misses Harry too.

But this is the lads road trip not the pity road trip the boys planned a week after the divorce was final. Now that was hell, he spent the entire trip crying over anything that slightly reminded him of Harry. 

“Just do what I do when I miss someone that’s no longer in my life.” Zayn was the one to speak this time. “I try to think of their bad habits and why they’re gone.”

“Harry doesn’t have any bad habits.” Niall stated but Louis snorted at him; Louis’ the one who married the boy, he knows every single one of Harry’s flaws and Zayn had gave him this advice one. It doesn’t really work though, considering he never minded Harry’s bad habits. 

But the other way; thinking of why they’re gone. If anything it only makes Louis misses him more. Now that he knows Harry’s husband is also the man that encouraged Harry that divorcing Louis was the right thing to do; it hurts even more. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter? What do you think is going to happen after this? :( xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS : domestic violence !!!!! there's a * before and after the scene ! also more violence there's a warning * there too please skip it if it bothers you!

*

“You look so pathetic like that.” Dean commented, glancing at Harry who’s both hands were tied together with a ball gag between his lips and kneeling on the floor, a few feet away from Dean. 

God knows how long he’d been in this position but Dean said if he’s good, he’d let Harry eat tonight. And Harry’s starving! Of course he is! He can’t rely on two meals a day when he spends his days getting tied down and fucked or worse, getting whipped which just cost more bruises on his back down to his bum. 

This was truly hell and he doesn’t remember but he understands now that he was trying to escape before the accident. It makes more sense than a record deal that Harry hasn’t heard about since Dean tied him up.

But how did that Harry escaped when this Harry weren't even allowed to go to the bathroom alone?

“Come here,” Dean called and by now Harry knows better than disobeying what Dean wants. It never ends well. 

Harry crawled, yes _ crawled  _ because he can’t stand up when he’s aching everywhere. At least now he knows why he didn’t talk about Dean to Gemma or their mum.

“I’m so tired of tying you up and gagging you but you used to be so good for me.” Dean played with his curls when he kneeled in front of Dean. “I want the old you back, baby. The one that always listens.”

Oh, is that how that Harry escaped? Because he wasn’t tied up and gagged, he probably had phone privileges as well. Meanwhile this Harry would scream if it wasn’t for the gag between his lips. 

“But you need to learn your lesson, don’t you, baby? Trying to escape like that.” He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. It’s been two weeks! Can he get over it already and let Harry use his own hands again. “And to make me deal with your ex husband like that, you know how much he annoys the shit out of me.”

Harry hates it when he brings Louis into this, Louis is not at fault here! He never was and he never will! If anything he saved Harry, not only after the accident but by keeping Harry in his house!

“Well, he’s long history now, isn’t he,boy?” 

Harry’s tired of crying, he’s tired of kneeling and he’s tired of Dean. But whenever he mentioned Louis everything inside him breaks more than it already is. Louis. How is he doing? Does he miss Harry just as bad as Harry miss him?

“Listen, boy, I have a meeting tonight with my clients.” Dean grabbed his face so Harry’s focused on him and not the thought of Louis. “It’s in a cafe nearby, you know them, well, you  _ knew  _ them and they’ve been asking about you.”

Harry blinked, listening.

“I will take you with me but you have to promise you’ll be in your best behaviour or I swear to fucking god I’ll whip you all night long. Do you hear me?!”

Harry nods because he will never pass on a chance to see the outside world. He can’t remember the last time he breathed some fresh air! And also the chance to be untied, his wrists were already aching enough as it is!   
  


*

\--

  
  


London was their third stops and Louis hates that they marked their destinations before Harry’s accidents because now, everything just takes him back to that night- or morning since it was five in the morning when he got the call.

“God, I miss humans!” Niall watched the people rushing in and out of the coffee shop they were enjoying their hot brews at. “It’s really nice to drink cow's milk for once instead of milking them.” 

Zayn scrunched his nose. “I thought you have someone to do that for you.”

“I help my workers as much as they help me, thank you very much.”

Louis made a mental note to make a visit to Niall’s farm soon. He missed breathing the clean air and enjoying the wide open spaces of it all. It’s been a while since they visit him there. 

“No offense, but I think it’s about time you tie the knot.” Liam says before sipping his coffee, intentionally showing off his wedding ring. “It’s nice to talk to someone that doesn’t have four legs at night.”

Zayn nods in agreement. “Yeah, mate, don’t you think Ally is dying for you to propose?”

“Zayn, my good man,” Niall clicked his tongue. “Ally and I don’t even live in the same area and even if we do, I doubt she wants to live anywhere near my farm. You know she’s made for the city, I’m made for the countryside.”

Niall did meet his long-term girlfriend back before he dropped out of university and even though their relationship was one hour (by plane) far, they still managed to make it work. They both are crazy for each other. Kinda reminds Louis of him and- nevermind. 

“You could move with her, I mean, she does have a great job going on and all.” Liam suggested with a shrug. “You both are nuts for each other as it is, what’s stopping you?”

Niall opened his mouth, then closed it again, glancing at Louis before opening his mouth once more, only to have it shut again.

“What?” Louis’ expression changes. “What does this have something to do with me?”

“It doesn’t!” Niall quickly shakes his head for his attempt lie but Louis glared at him so he sighed and said. “It’s just- I kept thinking about, what if she wants to stay in England while I want to stay home, you know, long distance- didn’t work with  _ you _ .”

Oh.

“And we, well, I, personally, thought that if something could break you, it ought to break us too.”

“That’s stupid, Niall.” Zayn answered for Louis. “First of all, Harry left because he was an idiot and listened to some guy he just met not because he decided one day he’s over Louis.” Zayn was never quite the talker in the group but when it comes to lecturing them, he’s louder than Liam and Louis put together. “Second of all, don’t compare your relationship with someone else’s, man, yours are just as good.”

Liam smiled. “Preach, mate.”

Well, Louis’ done with this conversation. Whenever they start discussing relationship, Louis always tried to distract himself which was what he’s doing now, looking at the customers leaving the coffee shop and some new ones walked in, looking so much like Harry- wait.

Harry! That was in fact him!

“Lads,” Louis’ eyes didn’t left Harry, the younger boy was held possessively by who Louis remembered is his husband. “Eleven O’clock, Harry.”

They all turned, immediately, eyes widening in unison as they watched Harry and the man walked up to the counter.

And Louis wish he could say Harry looks good but Harry was nothing close to look fine when he’s wobbly as he walks and his eyes were bloodshot red, his eye bags were visible even from where Louis was sitting.

He was in a thick dark brown sweater and black jeans, Louis wonders how he’s not sweating considering the weather, Louis doesn’t even feel slightly cooler even with the ice tea he ordered. 

“Well,” Liam was the first to stand up. “Let’s go say hi then.” 

Louis can’t stop them- they were Harry’s friends. But he can stop himself so he didn’t join the lads when they stood up and walked over to where Harry was looking up to the menu board above the barista.

“Oi! Frogface!” Niall called and Harry immediately turned when he heard the nickname because there were only four people who ever called him that.

His eyes filled with glee the minute he saw the three boys approaching him and without thinking twice, he jerked off of Dean’s tight grip and ran towards them.

“Niall!” Harry hugged the irish man first, then wasted no time to hug Liam. “Liam!” Though they all looked slightly different, they were still them. “Zaynie!” He hugs Zayn lasts, but then thought, the hell with it and pull them all for a hug. “You guys! I’ve been dying to see you!”

Liam chuckled, pulling away from the hug because everyone was staring. “We’ve been dying to see you too, curly.” He ruffled with Harry’s curls just like he used to. “Look at you, you’ve gotten taller!”

Harry’s cheeks reddened at that. “Nah, you’re just imagining it. I can’t grow anymore, apparently I’m 25.”

Right. That made Zayn frowned, so did the other boys. “Mate, we’re sorry about what happened. I wish I could’ve been there for you.”

“No worries, Zayn, I’m fine now.” Well, at least he’s awake. That’s what he’s been repeating to himself lately.

Then someone cleared their throat behind Harry, the four boys turned and found Dean with an unpleasant look. Harry almost forgot he’s in here with this fucking asshole.

“Lads, this is Dean.” He had to introduce him to his friends someday, right? 

“His husband,” Dean finished for him, exchanging handshakes and names with the three men. He knows who they are, Harry used to talk about them just like he talked about Louis. “Seeing you all packed up like this, I’m pretty sure, you’re missing a member.” Because Harry used to tell him about his three best mates and ex husband non stop. He knows they were a  _ group.  _

Niall hummed. “No, we aren’t, we-” Then he turned to see Louis with his head down still at their table. “Oi! Tommo! Somebody wants to say ``hi!”

Harry’s eyes landed on Louis when he saw the man got up from his seat and make his way to join the group, walking ever so slowly, putting the biggest smile he could fake. His heart shattered into a million pieces when he saw him. How could he ever left this man for this fucking asshole?!

But upon seeing Louis, Harry knows this is his chance to escape.

“Hey,” Louis greeted. “Harry, Dean. Nice seeing you again.” 

“Hi, Lou.” Harry squeaked trying to have Louis’ attention on him because maybe he could ask for help in secrecy but Louis was avoiding eye contact.

Dean smiled, not genuinely, but it could pass as one. God, Harry hates this man. “Louis,” He nods, once. “Good to know you could leave us alone, until now, of course. Didn’t know you were the stalking type.”

Stalking?!   
  


Harry turned to glare at Dean, something about having his hands untied was making him feel a little more powerful.

“Whoa, no one’s stalking you, mate.” Zayn answered for Louis. He knows this guy’s an ass ever since Louis told them that Harry’s manager, the man who ruined their marriage, turned out to be Harry’s husband. “We’re on a roadtrip across England, see. It’s our third stop.”

Dean didn’t quite believe that but he had clients to deal with. “Whatever then, I believe you boys have your own coffees to attend to? Come along, Harry, my clients will be here soon.”

Harry glanced at Louis, then at Dean, back to Louis, then the boys, then Louis again and finally settled for Dean. “Uh, actually, I want to sit with my friends. Maybe we can catch up a bit and all.”

Everyone was surprised at Harry’s suggestion. Only difference was, while everyone else likes the idea, Dean did not. And Louis finally turned to him with a confused expression but he can’t signal for help now that Dean’s attention is on him.

“Harry, what did I told you before we left?” Dean leaned in to whisper. “You’re here because my clients wants to see you.” His grip on Harry’s wrist tightens, if it was possible and Harry whimpered from the pain. “You’re not here for a fucking reunion.”

With that, Dean turned and pulled Harry by the wrist, the four boys in front of him was still there with confusion in their eyes and there’s only one thing he could do now, because if he doesn’t do it now; his hopes and dreams of escaping might disappear and/or he won’t bumped into his friends again!   
  


*

“No!” Harry pulled on his trapped hand, making Dean turned back to him with a death glare.

Harry ignored it and turned to his friends, his first instinct was of course to turn to Louis, extending his free hand as predicted Louis’ gaze dropped to his wrist, eyes widening when the sleeve of his sweater rides up, his red wrists from being tied up on full display. “He’s hurting me!” He yelled and everyone’s looking now which made Dean tried to pull him back into his arms but Louis took his free hand, avoiding his already red wrist. “He’s been hurting me this whole time, please...”

“Lads,” Louis asked for backup because he doesn’t need further explanation. “Get him off of Harry,” 

The lads didn’t hesitate to save Harry. “Mate, you heard him.” Niall stepped in along with Zayn, trying to get his strong grip off of their friend’s wrist. “You’re hurting him!”

Dean doesn’t look the slightest pleased. “You two need to back off-” before he could finish his sentence, a fist was collided with his face, he glared when he saw one of those boys -Liam- threw him another punch which made it easier for Zayn to peeled his fingers off of Harry, the green eyed boy rushed to Louis’ side, hiding behind him though Louis was much shorter, Harry felt safest near him. “Harry! Get back here!” He approached the two but of course Niall and Zayn was fast, holding each of his hands keeping him in place which made him screamed, struggling out of their grip.

They were making a scene, everyone was completely aware of that but Harry doesn’t care, he needs to be safe, The boys don’t care he wants Harry safe and Dean doesn’t care, he wants Harry back under his control.

“Sir, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you all to leave.” A barista came up, she looked young and worried with the situation especially when everyone was looking.

The two boys were already trying to drag Dean out of the coffee shop but his attention was on Harry. “I’ll leave with my husband.” Dean said to gritted teeth. “Harry.”

Harry was shaking at this point, all eyes were on him and even with Louis’ comforting palm on his back, he was still scared.

“Sir, please.” The barista tried again and Zayn knows better than to get the poor girl in trouble so he apologized to her and with Niall, they pull Dean out of the cafe. Liam followed them, he got his car keys out and Louis didn’t have to ask to know where they’re going.

*

It was three against one so even with Dean trying to struggle out of their grip, Louis knows he can’t escape from them.

Harry stayed inside with Louis.

“We’re terribly sorry.” Louis told the young barista. “We won’t cost any more trouble but can we please stay a little bit while?” His nodded towards Harry so the barista will give them a break. 

The barista nods when she glances at Harry who was still shaking and Harry never felt so small then she returns to behind the counter, customers in line was already waiting even though they were watching what just happened.

“It’s alright.” Louis took him to their previous seat, pulling Harry into his arms and that’s when the younger of the two bursts tears out of his eyes. “Shh, it’s alright, love. You’re safe now.”

Louis took his hand, inspecting the burn on his wrist, frowning because how could he let someone do this to Harry?!

“I’m sorry,” Louis apologized, brushing his finger on Harry’s wrist but Harry flinched and pulled his hand away. “Sorry,” He repeated. He will never forgive himself for letting that man took Harry back to his home.

Harry won’t answer, he just continued to cry, resting his head on Louis’ shoulder, his shirt soaked with Harry’s tears at this point but Louis didn’t mind and Harry knows that.

“Do you want some water? I’ll get you some water.” Lous tried but Harry’s grip on the hem of Louis’ shirt tightens. He doesn’t want Louis to leave him alone, not now at least. 

Louis looked outside through the window to see Zayn and Niall still had their grip on the asshole’s hands and Liam was saying something to him and he as struggling out of the grip and screaming at Liam’s face then two people showed up, making his face pale and he watched Liam explained something to those people.

Dean was trying to talk to them but they both looked shocked at whatever Liam told them, now they were yelling at Dean, Louis wondered who they could be.

It wasn’t long after that that they were out of Louis sight, probably already on their way to the police station but Louis doesn’t want to text any of the lads yet knowing Liam’s probably driving and the other two securing Dean. 

“He hurt me, Lou.” Harry finally said which made Louis tore his attention away from what’s going on outside and looked down to his ex husband. “Those bruises weren’t from the accident and-” he was trying not to break down in tears again. “He tied me up everyday, he kept  _ punishing  _ me for leaving him.”

Shit, Louis’ heart shattered at what Harry’s saying. He wants to go out there and just stab that man who dares hurt Harry like this. But no, he refused to let go of Harry because he needs Louis more than anything right now. 

Holding Harry, comforting him and making sure he’s alright is more important than hurting that man right now and it’s a good thing the lads were already on it but he knows he can’t let go of Harry ever again now. 

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered, hugging him closer. “I’m so sorry,”

This is all his fault. How could he let Harry go with some guy- that Harry’s family doesn’t even know anything about- just like that?! 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter? :) 
> 
> I was only planned this chapter to have 15 chapters-ish but I think there will be more. I hope you are still up for it though. <3


	13. Chapter 13

Louis paced back and forth while he waits for Harry that was being interrogated.

They took an uber down to the station when Liam called and said they needed Harry in for some questions. Of course, even with Dean safely locked in and there’s police everywhere, Louis still thinks it’s best if they stayed with him.

He has no one else here, they’re the closest people to Harry and it would be wrong to leave Harry here on his own.

“Louis, calm down.” Niall run his palms across his face, the situation was already stressing him enough and Louis had to get on his last nerve.

The blue eyed man sighed, sitting down across from Niall. “I just- I can’t believe I let him took Harry. I’m so fucking stupid!” He groaned, frustratedly. “It all adds up! Why Harry had no phone in the accident, why he had a one way ticket to Los Angeles, the bruises! Fuck, the bruises!” Louis felt hot tears running down his face, he can’t help it. He’s been trying to put up a tough front with Harry’s situation at all but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t dying inside.

“You didn’t know, it’s not your fault.” Liam tried, sitting next to Louis to comfort him, patting his shoulder. “I’m just glad we bump into him.”

Zayn agreed, nodding. “Yeah, mate. At least he’s safe now.”

Louis didn’t want to imagine what’s the last two weeks had been for Harry. He thought he had it worse with the fact that he spent it trying to get over Harry  _ again _ . But that was nothing compared to what the poor boy is going through.

Then the door where they took Harry was unlocked, revealing Harry and two officers leaving the room. Harry doesn’t look any better than he did a few hours back.

“Don’t you worry, Mr. Styles, you’re safe now.” One officer said with a comforting smile on her face. “However, we expect to see you at the trial.” 

Louis stood up. “Trial?”

“Of course, there’s going to be a trial, sir.” The other officer answered him, he doesn’t look friendly. Louis was glad he wasn’t in there alone with Harry, he doesn’t want anyone to talk to Harry with that attitude. “The trial’s in two weeks.” This time, he was talking to Harry. “We expect you to contact your lawyer right away.”

They excused themselves and shakes hands with Harry before leaving, Harry, being the nicest man in the world even at a situation like this, thank them with a broken smile on his face.

“Hey,” Harry squeaked once there were only five of them despite the people walking down the hallway. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, thank you for everything.”

Zayn was first to hug him, then Liam joined and so did Niall. Louis didn’t want to overwhelm Harry but Niall opened his arms as an invitation and Louis can’t resist but to join the group hug. 

Harry giggled when they all pulled away, he almost forgot what it's like to be around people who actually cares about him. The only person he’s been around for the last two weeks was Dean and one time his friend came over, Harry believed his name was Mark and he witness seeing Harry all tied up and naked yet he did nothing but laughed evilly at him, he also went on about how  _ glad  _ he was that he helped Dean found Harry.

They were the most cruel people Harry ever met. 

“Should we get going then? It’s getting late.” Niall suggested. “We gotta leave early in the morning tomorrow if we don’t want to miss out the sun in Brighton!”

They all agreed, walking out of the station it was only when they entered the car that Harry realized. “I- uh, don’t have my house keys.” it was Dean’s house key and in all honesty that is the last place he wants to go to right now but where else could he go to?

“Your house-” Louis stopped himself. “I mean, you’re coming back to the hotel with us, aren’t you?”

“I-I am?” Harry’s confused. Did they have a deal on this when the police was asking him questions that he was uncomfortable to answer?

Liam chuckled, pulling Harry into his arms, though Harry somehow grew bigger and taller than the rest of them, he will still be their little Harry. “It’s the annual lads roadtrip of course you’re coming!”

He said it as if they actually planned on picking Harry up and take him for a vacation. He wondered if this so called lads annual roadtrip is something they do with Harry even after his divorce with Louis. But that's the least likely.

“I really don’t want to be a bother.” Harry admitted, lowering his head as Liam lead him closer to their parked car. Louis went to the driver’s seat which kinda upsets Harry that he won’t sit next to Harry but it’s probably his turn to drive.

Liam chuckled again. “You know you’re never a bother, frogface.” the nickname made Harry’s heart flutter. This is home. Not that shared house with his shitty excuse of a husband, Dean. 

The ride to their hotel wasn’t filled with awkward silence. Of course it wasn’t and they were obviously trying to made Harry forget everything that’s bothering him by putting on the volume of the speaker high and Niall’s phone controlling the stereo via the aux cable.

“Oh, I love this song!” Niall turned it up again, Harry thinks his ears are bleeding but he doesn’t mind if this is the reason it’s in pain. “Remember when I sing this with Tommo on your wedding day, Zen?” 

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Why did I invited you two?”

“It wasn’t our fault! It was the alcohol.” Louis defended him, he sounds like he used to- loud and defensive, Harry can’t help but smile because Louis didn’t sound as excited as he was right now when Harry was staying with him. “You think we were bad? Payno was crying in the bathroom because there were no more breadsticks left!”

Liam clicked his tongue. “I was crying because Zayn’s mum was showing me baby pictures! I was emotional!”

Niall and Louis laughs mockingly in the front seat, Harry was oblivious to this memory. His wedding must be recent. But it sounds amazing. “Was I there?” He dared to ask because it was better than to hear Niall singing loudly to Rolling in the Deep by Adele. That’s not even a wedding song, he gets why Zayn was upset about it. 

Zayn smiled, softly. “Yeah, you were there.” then he pulled out his phone, unlocking with before going to the camera roll. He had a separate folder for his wedding pictures. He clicked on the picture of him and Harry. Zayn looking handsome as ever and Harry had the biggest grin, holding a glass of wine and a fork on the other hand. “This was right before your toast.”

“I was your best man?” Harry perked up, he always dreamed of being one of the boys’ bestmans and Zayn was his, so this surprised him. He thought someone else would win the role. 

Zayn nods. “Yeah, because Liam had that minister's license from your wedding so we thought he could just be the minister...again.” 

“Kinda disappointing I was never any of yours best man.” Liam pouted, Harry cooed at him. 

Louis laughs. “Don’t worry, mate. Niall’s the next in line.”

“We talked about this.” Niall scoffed. “I’m not marrying Ally anytime soon, you’ll probably remarry before I even proposed to her.”

Harry glanced between Louis and Niall. Remarry? Is Louis remarrying someone? “I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” Harry blurted and the other four boys stays silent for at least five seconds before bursting out of laughter. 

“The only thing he’s seeing right now is his right hand and a bottle of lube.” Niall snorted, the two men between Harry laughed again.

Louis reached to slap Niall’s arm, playfully. Harry winced because even though Niall wasn’t hurt, he doesn’t think he likes to see people hitting anyone even if it’s only teasingly.

“Oi, shut up. At least I’m not fucking one of my chickens.”

“I don’t fuck my chickens!” Niall defended himself. “I’ll have you know Ally and I have amazing phone sex.”

Liam groaned. “I didn’t need to know that!”

“No one needed to know that.” Louis corrected him. 

\--

Harry was glad when he found out he’s sharing a room with Louis even though it was supposed to be Zayn’s bed but Zayn said he doesn’t mind moving in Liam and Niall’s room because they know Harry’s most comfortable with Louis right now.

It was only them now in their hotel room since the boys were already worn out and needed rest before they leave for brighton tomorrow. 

“Here you go,” Louis hands Harry an oversized shirt. Well, it’s not oversized for Harry but it definitely is for Louis and this was Louis’ shirt after all so it was in fact, oversized. “If you like to we can go shopping tomorrow,” Louis smiled sweetly. “Might need swim trunks, you can’t resist not going for a dip.”

Harry smiled, weakly taking the shirt from Louis. “I don’t want to scare the kids away.”

“Why would they’d be scared of you?” Louis chuckles, sitting down at the edge of Harry’s bed next to Harry.

Harry gulped at the question but he knows he doesn’t have to hide this from Louis- he’d seen them before anyways. So he turned until his back was facing Louis and lift his shirt up. 

“Oh, Harry.” Louis sighed, pulling the shirt back down because he didn’t want to see it any longer. “I’m so sorry.”

Harry turned back to him. “It’s not your fault, stop apologizing.” 

Louis completely disagreed. It was his fault Harry went back to London with Dean. it was his fault he didn’t pick up enough fights when Harry asked for a divorce when he could’ve fix their marriage. It’s his fault Harry tried to escape Dean and got into that accident!

“Louis, it’s not your fault.” Harry placed his hand on Louis’ thigh. He said it as if he knows what he was thinking. “It’s really not. I was the one who wanted the divorce, right?” He asked because he doesn’t remember.

Louis hates this. “It’s not your fault either, you just wanted to better your career and you did everything you could.” Louis placed his hand on top of Harry that was resting on Louis’ thigh. 

Harry smiled. “Thanks for saving me...again.” 

“Always.” Louis promised, without thinking leaned into kiss his forehead. But Harry didn’t look like he minded. If anything he wanted the kiss to last longer. “Now go to bed, we got a long day ahead of us.”

He watched Louis stood up and went over his suitcase again, Harry changed his shirt in front of Louis because he doesn’t mind and shimmied down his jeans. But Louis went to the bathroom to change which kinda upsets Harry even though it shouldn’t have since they weren’t married anymore and Louis is allowed to feel self conscious with his ex husband in the room. 

When he returned from the bathroom he was in nothing but pyjama pants. Harry tried not to stare because he remembered buying that pyjama set for Louis. Fuck. those are probably five years old by now. 

“Night, Harry.” Louis turned off the light before walking over to his bed, his night light still on. 

Harry doesn’t want to complain that they have to sleep in separate beds because even this was way better than being tied up and Dean forcing Harry to- no. Harry doesn’t want to think about that right now. 

Instead he let his mind wanders to that picture Zayn showed him. A picture of him in a nice cream suit and short curls, he looked happy. That’s the person he wants to be from this moment. 

\--

_ “I’d like to make a toast.” Harry said once he got everyone’s attention, he eyed his husband who was standing in the corner of the ballroom with Niall next to him, staring back at Harry with nothing but adoration in his eyes. “But I don’t have a bread.” he added with a smirk but no one laughed.  _

_ Of course no one laughed, he should’ve listen to Louis and take out that line from his speech. _

_ “Anyway,” He changed the subject, suddenly more nervous than he already was, he glanced at Zayn next to him, wondering if he’s mad with Harry’s line but he doesn’t seemed upset at the slightest. In fact, he was holding in his laughter. “Last month, when Zayn announced his engagement, I was in tears- not only because my best friend is getting married but because I know he chose the best girl.” _

_ Perrie, Zayn’s newly wed wife rests her head on Zayn’s shoulder, her cheeks turning red at Harry’s words.  _

_ “Zayn told me that he’s never quite certain about anything in his life more than he is about Perrie. He said he feels like Louis, my husband, as you all know, there he is right there.” He pointed to where Louis was standing and everyone turned but Louis quickly hid his face behind Niall. Harry giggled before continuing. “He said he feels like Louis when he proposed to me.” _

_ The crowd cooed. “Now, I don’t know a lot about love. But I know I’m drowning in it when I’m with my husband.” He heard a sniffled coming from Zayn’s mum. She always was a big fan of Harry and Louis’ relationship. “So when Zayn told me he felt like this, I told him; then mate, you’ve found the one.” Then he raised his glass. “To Zayn and Perrie for the upcoming journey and eternal happiness.” _

_ \-- _

Harry’s eyes shot open, sitting up on his bed. The room was dark except from the dimmed moonlight outside their hotel room. He turned to find Louis on the other bed, asleep with heavy breathing coming out of him.

“Louis,” He crawled down his bed before climbing Louis’, shaking him lightly. No, this could not wait till later! “Lou?”

Louis groaned, slowly opening his eyes. “Christ, what time is it?” Louis looked around, everything was still so dark. “What’s wrong?”

“Did I talked about you in my speech at Zayn’s wedding?” The memory kind of blurry, he might’ve just dreamt everything. “And I made a bread joke?”

“I-yeah,” He’s awake now, slowly sitting up. “You remember?”

Harry shrugged. “I had a dream, Zayn’s wedding. Not sure if my head made that up or if that really happened.”

“Yeah, that happened.” Louis confirmed, a smile slowly crawled up his face. “So proud of you.”

Harry doesn’t really need to be praised when he remembered something but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t glad to hear Louis said that. 

“And a few minutes after that, that’s when Niall and I got really pissed and sung on stage,” Louis chuckled, shaking his head.

Harry frowned upon hearing that. “I don’t remember that,”

“That’s alright.” Louis squeezed his hand. “Little by little.”

He felt like he made more progress with Louis even though Dr. Wales said he needed to go back to his normal routine. But he remembered flashy scenes when he’s with Louis rather than when he’s with Dean. 

But he was glad he doesn’t recall any memories with Dean excluding that one car trip memory because he doesn’t need memories with that fucking asshole.

Harry shudders because Dean was in his mind again. Harry wasn’t ready to see him again in two weeks for a fucking trial. Then he looked up to Louis who was falling asleep. “Can I sleep here with you tonight?”

“Sure, love.” Louis answered without thinking, slowly getting himself comfortable back on the bed, making some spaces for Harry and the younger of the two happily lay next to him, pressing his back against Louis front and awaits for the older man to wrap his arms around him. Which he did, as if on cue. 

This is what he missed and needed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOO this fic isnt ending yet even tho harry is rescued theres still going to be shit to go through i hope youre still here for this ofc :D
> 
> the merrier the feedback the faster the update :D 
> 
> p.s this chapter is unedited im very sorry !


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still love Perrie and Sophia so they're mentioned here as Zayn's and Liam's wife so sorry if that's not your ship jfnjd but they're just mentioned and they're not a huge part of the fic <3

“It’s your turn to drive!” Louis glared at Zayn. “I drove to the hotel last night!”

Zayn groaned, rolling his eyes. “From the police station, it was barely anything!”

Harry wished he could be a little useful and took turns driving as well. But doctors order, no driving for six weeks tops and it’s only been a week three. Even after six weeks has passed he’s not even sure he’s ready to be behind the wheel again.

As usual, Louis won the argument which made Zayn the driver of the day while he can stay back with Harry. Which Harry was grateful for. It’s not like he doesn’t like the lads or anything, he  _ loves  _ them! But he feels safe when Louis was next to him.

“Have you contacted your lawyer, mate?” Liam asked when they were already packed in the car and making their way towards the highway.

Harry shakes his head. “I don’t have my phone on me.” He sighed. “Dean doesn’t trust me with it since he took me in.” Harry shudders at the memory of his first day with that horrific man.

Upon hearing his name, Louis squeezed Harry’s hand that Harry didn’t realize Louis was holding till now.

“I can contact Gemma for you.” Louis suggested.

Harry tore his gaze from the road, where he’s staring at the cars passing by. “No, I don’t-” He knows Gemma had been his lawyers since the day she graduated, even though he never really needed a lawyer- maybe he did ask for Gemma’s help for the divorce, but he doesn’t remember that. He should ask Louis later. 

“I don’t think I want her involved in this.” Harry admitted, scratching the back of his neck. 

“I know it’s going to be hard working with your sister about this but she’s good and she will fight skin and bones for the sake of you.” Louis tried.

Harry shook his head. “I’m sure I’ll win with a shitty lawyer, I really don’t want her to know-”

“Harold! We don’t know what Dean is made of!” Louis cuts Harry off. “We can’t risk having a shitty lawyer or anyone that isn’t Gemma! She knows your back story, she will fight for you!”

He was never a fan of Louis when he raised his voice to Harry, it made him feel small and makes him feel like he fucked up even though that wasn’t the case. Louis loves him! Well,  _ loved  _ him. 

“He’s right, Harry.” Niall chipped in. “Better let Gemma knows now than when she finds out from someone else.”

  
  


\---

Brighton was never Harry’s cup of tea because he felt something had cursed him here.

He remembered visiting for his honeymoon with Louis. Which was the cheapest option they could find for their budget and he remembered how he ended up hurting Louis with a wine’s cork when he tried pulling it off and had it hit Louis’ left eye instead. Harry said he should be glad it was just the cork and not the fucking corkscrew. 

Then the second time he went here with Louis, he got wasted pretty badly which ends up ruining what was supposed to be a romantic night Louis had planned for them. Louis was upset even though he told Harry it’s okay and took him back to their hotel room. Louis never planned a candle lit dinner by the beach ever again. 

Harry wondered if they ever went back to Brighton, did Harry fucked up again?

Well, obviously, the curse was real because this time Louis was once again upset with him. After a long argument in the car ride; Louis won. They agreed to call Gemma. Okay, maybe she was the safest lawyer he could get but that doesn’t mean he was okay with the idea of explaining to his sister that he was raped and abused!

But Harry didn’t call her, Louis did and explained everything to her because he didn’t want to go through that right now. He’s sure she asked to speak with him because Louis kept glancing at him, he was a few feet away from where they were laid out in the sand. 

“Everything will be fine, Haz.” Liam assured him, pulling him in for a hug he was the only one who agreed with Harry that they should get another lawyer but it was three versus two.

Harry knows everything will be fine especially when Gemma is his lawyer, but he still hates the idea of talking to her about it!

Louis jogged over to the group, slipping his phone back inside his pocket. “Gems will be in London next week.” He told Harry. “Which is perfect timing ‘cause that’s about the time we all have to head back.”

Head back?! 

“You’re not staying for the trial?” Harry sounds like he could burst out in tears in any second now.

The boys glance at each other, they all look worried and maybe they should stay for the trial after all.

“Harry, I have to work.” Louis however, didn’t look as worried as he was last night. Seemed like he’s more worried about his job than Harry.

Niall shrugged. “I mean, my dad been enjoying himself back in the farm again. I’m sure I can stay back with you.”

“Yeah,” Zayn nods, agreeing. “I think Pez will be fine with the studio on her own. No rush, mate. I can stay as well.”

“I can stay too!” Liam grinned. “I mean I have to visit the kids every once in a while but I’ll be here most times. Sophia wouldn’t mind.” Because Sophia loves Harry like she loves all of Liam’s friends. 

Then the three boys turned to Louis. Well, it was easy for them to stay they all were businessmen! Louis can’t miss more work than he already is!

“I have to work.” Louis repeated his statement, he turned to face Harry, he was looking down on the sand between his toes.

Everyone else did nothing except sending death glares towards Louis. But the man had made up his mind. 

“I can’t.” Louis continued before anyone dares says anything but he’s sure Harry understands, he did spent two weeks sleeping in Harry’s hospital room when he’s in a coma. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

Harry looked up, humming. Trying not to cry, obviously. “It’s alright, Lou. you’ve been helping me with everything.” He said instead.

  
  


\--

  
  


Harry was upset. Which was a first because usually Louis was the one who’s upset at Brighton but Harry doesn’t dare show it. Although he refused to go drinking with the lads because it pains him knowing Louis won’t be there with him for the trial.

Sure, the boys, Gemma and most likely his mum will be there but it won’t be the same without Louis. He’s the one who helped Harry went through all of this! From the moment he woke up!

This had always been an issue with Louis, he works too hard! He’d give Harry his attention from time to time but most days he’d just be too busy to text Harry back and the minute he’s home he’d go into his office to finish his work. 

Okay, so he might have missed so many days of work when Harry was in a coma but even that he seemed like he regretted his choice on staying with Harry all those days!

Harry was out on the balcony of their rented villa when he heard the front door opened, his heart beats faster at the thought of an intruder until Zayn’s voice was heard. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, mate, that’s all you are!” Zayn was yelling, slurring every word, he’s probably drunk. “A selfish idiot! Harry needs you more than fucking anything right now and all you have to say in it is you have to work?!”

Oh. they were still arguing about that. Guilt washed over Harry as he leaned against the glass door to listen more. 

“Just fucking quit already, mate.” He heard Liam’s voice, he sounds calmer than Zayn was. But Harry knows he’s just as drunk. “You can literally start your own business now. Yeah, it’ll be small but it’s yours! You don’t even like working there...you know.” Liam sounds too exhausted to finish his own sentence. “And don’t you think Harry needs you the most right now?”

“He’ll be fine, you all seem to be forgetting he’s a grown man. He’s not ten anymore.” Louis’ voice was heard this time. “Where was all of this energy when you boys attack him with snow?” 

He heard someone sighed loudly. “We were kids, mate! And it was stupid, yes. But this is not Harry’s husband attacking him with snow, it’s him properly hurting Harry!”

With that, he decided to leave the balcony finding the boys in the family room, all look up in unison when they saw Harry.

Liam was sprawled on the carpet while Niall was lying comfortably on the recliner, Zayn as well on the bigger recliner while Louis was on his feet. 

“Harry, you’re still up!” Niall was first to greet him, already worried that Harry might’ve heard what he just said. 

But the curly haired boy ignored him, locking eyes with Louis. It’s just, everyone was right...Harry needs Louis the most right now out of all times but at the same time Harry knows saying that outloud will be very selfish of him, Louis has his own life to take care of and Harry’s not his responsibility anymore. Besides that, he’d done so much for Harry since the accident. 

“I’m just gonna hit the bed now.” Liam was first to break the silence, standing up and it wasn’t long till Zayn and Niall excused themselves and left the room as well. 

Leaving Harry alone with Louis.

Louis already apologized, but he knows Harry deserves more than that. 

“I’m really sorry,” He stepped closer to his ex husband, but Harry just send a small smile his way.

Harry quickly shakes his head, no, still smiling. “No, I’m sorry, I made you go through all this with me. I understand if this makes you uncomfortable, you know all this me waking up, completely unaware of what’s the date, who’s my husband and you had no choice but to look over me and just when you thought you can finally live your life again I came back with this bullshit.” Harry exhaled. “So, I’m so sorry for coming back like this.”

“Hey, no, I’m glad you’re here. I’m happy you’re safe.” Louis took another step closer, they were only a few feet apart but Harry seems distant and he doesn’t like that. “You know my doors are always open for you, right? I just- I can’t leave work more than I already did.”

As much as that fact bothers Harry. He knows better than to play the victim here. Louis had his own life to live. He can't be there for Harry all the time. "You've done more than enough." Harry decided to say. He knows how hard this was for Louis, Harry wasn't the only one hurting. Louis had to take care of his ex husband while he was in a coma, he had to take Harry back home and avoid feelings, he tries not to fall back for Harry, he saved Harry again when Harry was trapped for the last two weeks, he knows better than to ask the man to come to his trial. 

Besides, his friends will be there. he's going to be just fine.

"I should go to bed." Louis changed the subject, Harry wished he didn't have to leave Harry's side so soon. "Which room you're staying in tonight?" Louis asked because he's certain this villa has over six rooms. Harry could picked anywhere. Except the master bedroom because Niall called it the second they arrived since it has its own bathroom.

Harry tilted his head to the side, slightly confused. "I haven't pick one yet.” with the fact that Harry’s luggage contains a shopping bag with two shirts and a pair of jeans, he had nothing to unpack. 

Louis smiled fondly at his ex husband and slowly he asked with his hand extended towards Harry. “Do you wanna stay with me?” It’s not a crime to ask him if they could sleep together anymore, right? Harry left his husband. Harry left Dean. 

The question, as predicted, made Harry grinned and took Louis’ open hand. “I’d love to.”

They walked up the stairs together, it’s not awkward at all to hold hands now which they both really like so much. If there’s no room for them being together again in the future, Harry hopes they could still be friends. 

When they reached Louis’ room, Harry suddenly stated. “I don’t think I want my recent memories back.” He looked down at his own fingers, twiddling his thumbs.

Louis doesn’t know how to stop that from happening, Harry gets flashy memories coming back to him that he can’t control. But he guessed, if they just avoid the subjects, especially if Dean is involved then possibly Harry won’t remember them at all.

He hoped seeing Dean in the trial won’t trigger his memories.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there for you for the trial.” Louis apologized instead; for what seems to be the hundred times today.. 

  
  


\--

  
  


_ “So,” Louis sat across from his soon-to-be-ex-husband, reading the divorce papers for what seems like the third time now. “You’re not taking anything?” _

_ Harry shakes his head, no he’s certain of his decision. He doesn’t want to take anything that will remind him of Louis. That means he doesn’t want anything from their divorce, only his own car.  _

_ “You don’t want the house?” Louis asked, clearing his throat to keep himself from crying in front of Harry. No, he refused to give Harry the pleasure of seeing him cry. _

_ “It’s all yours.” Harry doesn’t care if Louis built it for him. He won’t need it once he’s selling his music, making it big in the industry. He doesn’t need anything Louis bought or built for him. He doesn’t need Louis altogether.  _

_ Louis hesitated, eyes glued on Harry’s signature on the paper it took him another one minute but he finally picks up the pen Harry set besides the papers. _

_ Three signatures, that’s all Harry needs. _

_ So why is this harder to give than anything Harry ever from asked him?! Come to think of it, if Harry wants Louis to buy him the entire galaxy or build a fucking castle for him, he’d find it easier than giving him these signatures he wants so bad.  _

_ But, if Harry’s happy, then he’s happy. He kept reminding himself this. And if this is what Harry wants, then it’s what Harry gets.  _

_ “There.” Louis slides the paper after he finished his third signature, finally looking up to see his now ex husband. _

_ Harry doesn’t seem satisfied or happy, but he doesn’t seem sad as well. He collected the papers, sliding his chair away from the table and stood up without exchanging any other words with Louis. _

_ The older man listens to Harry’s footsteps, the sounds disappeared up the stairs and that’s when Louis let his guard down, he let out a loud sigh, his own fingers running through his hair as he lets his tears trickled down his cheeks.  _

_ Harry’s leaving. _

_ No, Harry left.  _

  
  


  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the long update oh my god :( good news is i'm back home so hopefully i'll have more time to update :D
> 
> thoughts on this chapter? xx


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -unedited- all mistakes are mine :( xx

Something was off. Harry was off to be precise.

Had been since this morning and he's clearly not enjoying his day out with the boys. He looks like he had just seen a ghost, and when one of the boys asked what's wrong he would put on his best fake smile and said nothing was wrong. Which was complete bullshit. Louis would know, he was married to this man for five years!

"Do you want to take a walk?" Louis asked after they had dinner, the boys were somewhere but Louis lost them. it's alright, they're all grown man. Louis is more concerned with Harry than any of the lads. And not because Harry's the one he's in love- nope. He moved on.

Harry hummed, trying to think of the last time he walked across the beach with Louis. It wasn’t a great memory. Brighton never was a great memory for Harry.

But his memory doesn’t seem to match with Louis’ because suddenly he started laughing and squeezed Harry’s hand. “The last time we were here, you got so drunk you threw up all over me.” 

Oh, so they did visit Brighton again after the two incidents that Harry remembered. And he threw up too! The Brighton curse was real. “Brighton never seems to end well for us, huh?” He asked when he realized Louis was leading him across the beach. It was a crowded night, Louis tried to avoid people. 

“Which means we need to make  _ better  _ memories of it.” Louis decided to say, completely going against his ‘No rewriting the past with Harry’ rule but this wasn’t rewriting, he simply wants a replacement for the bad memories but for himself not for the sake of replacing Harry’s memories. “So, what’s bothering you?” Louis asked once they were a little bit further away from the crowd and closer to the ocean, letting the wave hits their bare feet every now and then.

Harry shakes his head. “Nothing’s bothering me.”

“Harry, I know you better than anyone else.” He laughs. “You can tell me if something’s wrong.”

The thing was, Harry didn’t know how he can explain this to Louis or anyone. But then again, how else will he knows if last night’s dream was just a dream or a memory?

“I had another flash.” Harry admitted, taking all of Louis’ attention. “Well, a dream, but maybe it's a memory?”   
  


“What is it?” Louis asked, slowly sitting down on the soft sand and Harry joined, obviously Louis doesn’t care if the wave attacks them or the fact that the send they were sitting on was wet.

Harry took a deep breath. “You’re not gonna like this.”

“Tell me,” Louis demanded.

Harry took another deep breath, closing his eyes for awhile trying to remember the dream, then opening them again then turn to the blue eyed man. “You. divorce papers. kitchen table. hearing you cry from the top of the stairs.” Harry said between deep breaths, something was hurting his chest. He never felt more guilty about anything. “It’s not pretty.”

“Yeah, it’s a memory.” Louis said, calmly. “I didn’t know you were listening to me though but yeah I was sobbing.” He chuckled like remembering them didn’t bother him. It was one of the memories Louis wished Harry wouldn’t regain though. Not to sound selfish, but he would rather remember the bad memories himself and only for Harry to remember the good days. He doesn’t deserve to re-experienced the pain. 

But Louis can’t control Harry’s mind even though there was nothing more upsetting than seeing Harry staring at the ocean with tears streaming down his face and trying to breathe- oh shit.

“Harry,” Louis took both of his hands into his. “It’s okay, it’s all in the past. We’re okay now, see?” Louis tried to locked eyes with Harry but he was looking everywhere but Louis. “Baby, look at me.” 

The younger of the two, slowly turned to finally face Louis, green eyes locked with blue ones that matches the ocean in front of them.

“We’re okay now.” He repeated, slowly smiling. “It’s in the past, yeah?”

Harry slowly nods. “I’m- I’m sorry I left like that.”

The thing was, if Harry didn’t go through what he did; if he weren’t on an accident, if he didn’t lose any memories,if Louis had no idea what Dean had done to him and he showed up back at Louis’ door and apologized, Louis wouldn’t have accepted it so easily.

But this wasn’t the case, the case was Harry only remember small parts of his lost memories and that he had to be sent back to Dean who he was trying to runaway from and experienced the worst part of his life. 

So with this case, apology accepted. Louis pulled the boy into his arms, hugging him close.

“You’re fine.” Louis told him, squeezing the boy in his arms. 

  
  


\--

Out of all the Brighton memories Harry had, plus the one Louis told him that he might’ve forgotten. 

This trip was his favorite.

Not only that he gets to see the lads, but he didn’t embarrass himself as bad as he used to.

But, everything comes to an end and Harry can’t believe five days had passed and they already have to go back with the boys. How is it that things go by so fast when you’re having fun?!

“Don’t worry, Harold, we’re staying with you, remember?” The trial was not for another week but Niall reassured in case Harry’s going to feel left alone after the trip. “We’re going to see Gemma and prepare for the trial together. It’ll be fun!”

There’s no way Niall can possibly make any of this fun. But he likes Niall’s effort.

“Of course,” Harry smiled, waiting on the others to finish loading their luggage in the back of the car while he’s chatting with Niall. It was Niall’s turn with the car so he refused to help with the luggage. Harry offered to help but of course Louis told him to get in the car. 

Harry’s nowhere ready for the trial. He doesn’t even know what to say or what to do; he assumed Gemma will take care of that but he’s going to be seeing Dean again. He knows he’ll be safe but that doesn’t mean he’s not scared. 

\--

They made it back in London when it’s dark out. It’s totally Liam’s fault for stopping by a rest stop at any given chance, they also stop for food a couple of times and Louis accused them of doing this on purpose so he’ll stay back longer, Harry likes the idea of Louis staying longer though.

But of course, his little Louis bubble popped when they arrived at the hotel and Louis announced that he can’t stay any longer.

“Niall,” Louis called as he put on his coat. “Your job is to take Harry to Dr. Wales tomorrow and Zayn,” He turned to Zayn, sounding like a father leaving his youngest son with his brothers. “You can pick Harry’s car up, it’s long overdue and Liam-”

Liam stopped him. “Yes, remind Harry to take his meds. We got it,  _ dad _ .”

Harry’s not gonna lie, he likes the fact that Louis had this much attention on him for once ever since he woke up from the coma; he knows Louis has spent his day and night taking care of Harry, even cuddling and making sure he’ll be okay but this was more than all that put together. 

“And you,” Louis turned to Harry, who was standing in front of him, to make sure he gets to hug Louis before he left. “Please call me if you need anything.”

Harry nodded once. “I don’t have my phone,” He reminded Louis, he really needs to go back to Dean’s house to get his phone. It was the only phone he can access his social medias, contacts and pictures from.

“Ask the lads or Gem, they won’t mind.” Louis pulled out his wallet out of his back pocket, Harry watched him pull out a card, one Harry wasn’t familiar with and hand it to Harry. Due to muscle memory, Harry accepted it without thinking twice until it was on his hand that he realized what card it was. “In case you need to get anything.”

If Harry was still Louis’ husband, taking his credit card won’t be awkward in the slightest, probably why his hand didn’t think twice to accept it from Louis. “You don’t have to,” Harry looked up to him again, he looks slightly uncomfortable even though he should be glad Louis trusts him with it. “I still got cash, lots of it and I don’t think I’ll be needing a lot of money right now.”

“Just- for emergencies, yeah?” Louis, of course, feels saver if his card is with Harry if he couldn’t be there for him. He knows Harry won’t be needing lots of money considering Gemma was his lawyer and she already told Louis over the phone that of course she’s not charging Harry anything, and the boys obviously going to take care of his daily needs like food and such, they were treating him like a baby. 

But Louis still feels responsible for not being able to come to his trials.

“Ca-ching!” Niall joked when he saw the card on Harry’s hand. “Lads! We’re going out tonight! All you can drink! It’s on Louis!” He joked but Louis sent him a glare before turning back to Harry and pulling him in for a hug before he can protests about the card any further.

Harry lets himself relax underneath the touch, chasing Louis’ scent before he had to go and once again, they were apart. Harry can’t believe he left this wonderful man for that godawful one that’s in jail right now. Everything about Louis was  _ perfect _ . 

No, he doesn’t care how loud Louis can get or how upset he gets when Harry calls him over for dinner when the game was on. He didn’t care how messy Louis is or the fact that he can’t cook for the sake of himself. He doesn’t care if Louis mocks the way he talks or anything he has to say or whenever Louis would stay at work way too late. Louis was still perfect to him.

“Love you,” Harry said, again out of habit, when Louis broke the hug Harry was enjoying very much.

The last time they went their separate ways, Louis told him he loves Harry back but this time he didn’t say it, only give him a supporting smile and said. “You’ll be alright.”

  
  


\--

It was two days later that Gemma showed up, their mum didn’t come with them due to Harry’s requests because he knows how overwhelming it’ll be if Gemma is going to be interrogating him with his mum listening and crying every five seconds. It’s a good thing she respects Harry’s choice and didn’t show up with Gemma.

Being asked questions by Gemma was harder than being asked by the police even though Gemma understands his situation more since the police had no idea he lost his memory but Gemma did; but still, it was his sister she was as upset as the boys were, it was obvious she’s fighting to keep her strong face up and held back whatever tears she needed to let out.

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to hire her as his lawyer after all but he knows Gemma will fight with everything she got if she had to.

Somewhere in the middle of the endless questions, Harry can’t do it anymore. He let the tears bursts out which made Liam panicked and was quick to pull him into a hug, shushing Gemma even though she stopped talking the moment Harry started crying. 

God, this was hard. He can only imagine how the trial will be like. 

“We should take a break.” Niall said for the tenth time now, only this time, everyone agrees. Zayn left the room to go have a cigarette outside the balcony while Niall left to get some cold water for himself and Harry.

Gemma leaned back on the sofa, sighing. There was nothing she could do if Harry continues to break down like this. She gets it was hard for him and she expects him to react like this. Gemma had clients with the same case before, she just never expected she had to deal with this case with her own brother. 

  
  


\--

The next day Harry had an appointment with his doctor to renew his medications and checkup, Niall was waiting outside the doctor’s office.

“Everything looks really good.” Dr. Wales smiles at Harry. “How are you feeling, though, love? Any memories coming back?”

Harry nods. “I got these flashes sometimes.” Harry told her then sighs.

“That’s good, love. You’re doing really great.” Dr. Wales promised before her eyes dropped to Harry’s waist he had his shirt off due to Dr. Wales wanted to check on his previous bruises. “Though, these bruises doesn’t seemed to fade. Have you been using the cream?”

God. Harry knew she will ask this but he hates it. “Actually, turns out it wasn't from the accident.” He doesn’t need to hide this from his doctor, right? Now that Dean was safely locked behind bars.

But he doesn’t need to get to details because Dr. Wales’ eyes widen in surprise, it’s not like she never dealt with domestic abuse patients before.

“B-but, it’s okay, he’s locked up now.” Then Harry quickly adds. “It wasn’t the guy that was in the hospital with me, that was my uh- ex husband.” Harry shakes his head. “Just, it’s a long story. But Louis didn’t hurt me.” as stupid as it sounds, he just wants to makes sure no one gets the wrong idea of Louis. 

But Dr. Wales just nods and smile knowingly. “I’m very sorry, Harry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Harry was honestly getting tired of people pitying him, he hates being seen as the abused man. 

“I’ll write down some more cream on your prescription.” Dr. Wales changed the subject, quickly. 

Harry shudders suddenly remembering that godawful two weeks, being tied up, helplessly while getting whipped with Dean’s belt across his back, he hates it. 

“Uh, I was wondering, actually.” Harry tried, maybe she’ll know what to do. “If there’s anyway the memories could....not come back at all?”

Dr. Wales frowned and she understands Harry doesn’t want to relive the abuse he experienced but forgotten, but then again, what can she do?

“The brain is very complicated, Harry.” She said instead and Harry understands. 

He understands that they may come back or may not at all. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)))) i'm so sorry for the very late update but i've been focusing on getting a new job and guess what! I'm starting tomorrow !!! (basically in my old company but different position i'm still very excited though bc i love working there hehe)
> 
> please let me know you all are still interested in this story i will continue faster now that i'm calmer hehe <3
> 
> Sylvia xx


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited, all mistakes are mine. sorry :( xx

Harry can’t do this. 

He can’t. 

He’s been telling himself he could until here he is, in the courtroom with Gemma next to him and everytime he turns to his left there he was, on the other table, staring at Harry with no expression whatsoever. He didn’t look pissed, he didn’t look happy, he was just staring and somehow that scares Harry more than if he was angry at Harry.

Earlier, when Dean walked in the room, his hands tied together with a metal handcuffs and two policemen by his side, forcing him on his legs to walk over his assigned seat; Harry wanted to cry. Not because he felt bad about the situation Dean is under (god, no) but because seeing that monster again scares him to no end.

And now here he was, in the same room as Harry, staring at Harry making Harry feels so small even though like Gemma had been repeating for a week now...everything will be alright, they were on the winning side.

The worst part of the trial was when they made Harry come up, he was seated to face everyone- Dean had the best view of him- and the fucking judge kept on asking him questions he can’t focus on. 

Stupid stuff as well, stuff like. “Mr. Styles, can you please explain the first day you went home with Dean Andrews after your accident?”

“He came the night before, he brought pictures and everything to prove to us that he’s my husband.” at first it wasn’t too hard to explain, not when he looks down on his lap and not the crowd. “The next morning he came back to pick me up and drive me back home, my hus- my ex, who had been taking care of me asked the police to contact him if someone reports to be missing me and we thought he got the information on where I was staying from the police.” he made the mistake of looking up, Dean was listening to him, he looks rather bored than anything but Harry started shaking. He hates seeing him! He hates it!

He realized he had to continue when the judge called out. “Please, continue, Mr. Styles.”

“Uh, yeah, so I went back to London with him and he-” Fuck, those memories came rushing back to him and not only the ones from the day he went home with Dean but memories that he had forgotten, flashing him one after the other and he can’t look away from Dean as he hears his own screaming inside his head.

_ * _

_ “I don’t care if your stupid excuse of an ex husband wish you a happy birthday! Who the fuck does he thinks he is? Texting my husband like that?!” Dean’s voice echoed in their bedroom, all Harry could do was to cover his ears, trying to contain the tears that were escaping his eyes. _

_ He tried to ignore the pain in his stomach where Dean had just kicked him the moment Harry told him Louis texted him a happy birthday. Which Harry wasn’t even planning on telling at first! But of course Dean noticed Harry’s fond smile staring at his phone the minute he woke up. _

_ This was supposed to be a good day. It’s his birthday.  _

_ Dean hasn’t even wished him a happy birthday, yet he chose to start the day by hurting Harry. Which wasn’t rare, but Harry thought today won’t be one of those days.  _

_ * _

_ “Where are you going?” Harry asked as he looked up from the book he was reading, forgetting to fold the corner to mark where he left off as he stood up from the sofa and watched his husband put on his coat. _

_ Dean rolled his eyes. “None of your business.” _

_ “No, but you said you’re having a meeting with Columbia Records sometimes this week to talk about me.” Harry’s voice sounds hopeful. “Is it today?” _

_ Dean rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m meeting some people of Columbia Records today.” He admitted, Harry can’t help but smile widely at that. “But they think you’re shit, they liked my other clients though.” _

_ With that, the smile instantly fell from his face. Did they really thought he was that bad?! _

_ “Okay, that’s okay.” Harry let out a deep breath. This was not the first time Dean said people thinks he’s shit. So he’s okay. He will be. “But you will try again, right? You have a lot of relations and-” he was cut off by Dean’s palm colliding roughly with his cheek.  _

_ “Listen, you’re not good enough!” Dean yelled, watching Harry took a step back, one hand crawled up to touch his cheek where Dean just slapped. “How many times do I have to tell you if you want to improve then stop being lazy and actually work on your music?!” He took a step closer to Harry, he jerked Harry’s hand off of his cheek before cupping them with one hand, squeezing his jaw. “Huh?! Can you do that?! Can you work on your fucking voice?!” _

_ Harry nods instead of arguing that he had been practicing as much as possible because it’s not like Dean will listen to him. He never does.  _

_ * _

“You alright?” Niall asked once Harry’s eyes were opened, the irish lad’s head was hovering above his and Harry blinked twice, trying to figure out where he is. 

He quickly shakes his head, no. “I just- I can’t.”

“You fainted earlier, we had to dismiss the trial.” Niall explained. Oh god, did he really passed out?!

Not only that but his head was killing him, it was pounding to the point Harry wishes he could just have his brain removed until it stops hurting.

“Meaning, we have to reschedule the trial for tomorrow.” He heard Gemma’s voice this time and he turns his head to the side where Gemma was seated with Zayn and Liam.

That’s when he realized they were back in the hotel they were sharing at.

But wait- reschedule the fucking trial?! That made Harry whined like a three year old. 

“Harry, I know this is hard, but we’re on the winning side here, we have all the evidence, did you saw Dean’s lawyer?” Gemma tried, holding Harry’s hand. 

Harry knows he’s on the winning side, he knows he’ll be alright. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t scared to be in the same room as Dean again.

“I had flashes!” Harry tried to reasoned, slowly sitting up on the bed, trying to ignore his pounding head. “It was scary, Gem! I don’t like him, I hate him! I don’t want to ever see him again!”

He felt a hand rubbing his back soothingly, probably Niall’s.

“We all don’t like him, Harry! But we have to do this and the faster the better! Trust me on this, you will be fine.”

Harry sighed, he knows he will be fine but as for right now he was far from it and he hates that Dean is still haunting him. So instead, he asked. “Can I call Louis?” because Louis will know how to calm him down, even if he doesn’t, Louis’ voice was calming enough. 

\--

Meanwhile in Manchester, Louis was at work- doing nothing productive. Not when he had Harry in his mind all day. Niall’s texts did not give him any clear answers since Niall would just reply with simple answers like “fine” or “He’s ok” when Louis asks how Harry was doing at the hearing.

But that was three hours ago, the last time he sent Niall or the other boys or even Gemma a text was an hour ago and none of them have answered him since then which caused him nothing but panicked- what if something happened to Harry during the hearing?!

“Louis!” He shakes his head, zoning back into reality when he heard his name being called, he looked up to find Stan by his office door. “Yo, what’s wrong with you, mate? I’ve been calling you for ages.” He walked in Louis’ office. “Are you okay, mate?”

Louis cleared his dry throat from how silent he’s been all day, the only person he spoke to today was the receptionist, and that was only to say his usual good morning to them. 

“I’m fine, what’s up?”

“Bryan’s looking for you,” Stan sat on the chair in front of his table, referring to their boss. “Are you sure you’re okay? Is this about Harry’s trial?”

“No, of course not.” He lied, standing up from his seat. “The lads are with him, he’s fine.”

He doesn’t have much to say to Stan with the fact that his mind was occupied with Harry and their boss looking for him, so he left his friend in his office and marched to his boss’, hoping he was not in trouble even though they all know he’s far from ever being in trouble. Not when he is Bryan’s favorite employee.

“You were looking for me?” Louis asked after he knocked on his boss’ open door and stepped inside not waiting for him to let him knowing how chill his boss is.

Bryan smiled at his employee. “Yes, was wondering how your current project doing, haven’t got any updates on that for awhile due to your leave and all.”

“Right,” Louis sat across from him. “I haven’t contacted them again, actually, sorry.” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck, that’s when he realized he had been doing nothing at work today.

Bryan was a good person though and he immediately knew something was off, He’s professional, yes, but he always asks his employees if something was bothering them and he could tell something was bothering Louis. “Everything alright, Tomlinson?”

Louis nods once but then shakes his head. 

He remembers after his divorce was final, Bryan was a great listener when he opened up about said divorce and Bryan tried to give him advice since he was recently divorced at well during that time. So Louis begins. “You remember Harry, right?”

“Ah, the ex.” Of course he remembers, he met Harry a couple of times before. “How’s he doing after the accident?” he knew about that too due to Louis’ absent when Harry was in a coma.

Louis exhaled. “He’s in court, fighting against his husband and it’s- it’s killing me not being there for him.” Louis finally admitted. “I know how unprofessional this is but I don’t think I can work..sorry, I just, I can't work properly right now...I know I just got back from my leave but, Bryan, I really need an extra week.”

His boss didn’t know what to say to that. Louis had been away from the office for too long and Louis was his best employee, not to mention he had a big project coming up that he might lose if he took another leave.

“What about the project?” 

“I can contact them in London, of course.” Louis tried. “You don’t have to worry, I have them wrapped around my finger, this is our third project together, they’ll understand..”

Bryan sighed, he had no idea what to say to that. 

“Please, it’s just until the trial is over.” Louis begged, he needs to know how Harry’s doing there and if he’s winning the case, though there’s a fat chance he is.

“Okay,” Bryan decided. It was a better decision than to see Louis unfocused at work like he was today. 

\---

The minute Louis left work, he drove to London without packing anything or even visiting his house- he drove straight ahead to London and that’s when his phone rang.

He ignored the first call, thinking it was Stan or Bryan or anyone else from work but when his phone started ringing again by the time the traffic light turns red so he picked up his phone from the passenger seat and saw Niall’s name on his screen.

“Hello,” He immediately picked up. “Everything’s okay?”

“Hi,” his heart melts when the familiar voice was heard- definitely not Niall’s.

“Hey, love.” He looked straight ahead to where the traffic light turned yellow. “Love, I’m on the road, can I call you back later?”

“Oh,” Harry sounded sad which made him feel ten times worse. “Yeah, okay.”

He could have told Harry he’s on the way to see him, but surprising Harry seems like a good idea as well, so Harry would just have to wait. He will be there soon.

  
  


\--

To distract Harry from waiting Louis to call back again, Niall took him to pick up his car that has been in the shop since his accident. 

It was the same car that he had when he was married to Louis, he assumed he never got a new one and he was kinda glad to see something familiar.

Niall paid for the car, Harry on the other hand was admiring his car, he remembers all the memories he had with Louis in this car and god, he misses Louis so much.

All the fun memories; picking Louis up from work, going to their romantic date nights, going out on a saturday night, getting drunk at the back of the car together and then- something came in mind. 

Something involving the day he left. 

\--

_ Harry grunted as he tossed his suitcase to the back of his car, he wants to hurry it up before Louis get back from work so he didn’t have to have an awkward goodbye session with his now ex-husband. _

_ But, of course, as if on cue, Louis’ car stopped in front of their house, he didn’t even bother parking it- he hurriedly exit the car and jogged over to where Harry was quickly reaching to closed his trunk. _

_ “Hey, you’re leaving?” Louis started making Harry rolled his eyes at his ex husband’s stupidness. Of course Harry’s leaving, otherwise why would they get a divorce in the first place?! _

_ Of course, this was unexpected due to the fact that Harry still live with Louis two weeks after the divorce was final and now here he is, all of the sudden with one suitcase and two guitars in the back of his car, off to wherever he was heading.  _

_ So Harry choose to ignore his ex husband and walk back to the front of his car, Louis followed of course, obviously scared to have Harry out of his life but Harry couldn't care less at this moment. Like his manager said; no distractions.  _

_ “Have you packed everything? Is there anything you forgot?” Louis tried again, at this point, he’s just trying to make Harry talks to him. “If you forgot something you can always ring me, I will send it right away to...where are you going again?” _

_ Harry sighed loudly, finally facing his ex husband. “I can assure you, I won’t bother your life ever again so can you promise you’ll stop bothering mine?” _

_ Louis swallowed his spit, Harry could tell he was about to cry any second now but he’s putting a strong front. Harry was too, deep down he wished he did not have to do this. _

_ “Y-yeah, okay.” Louis finally say and then open his arms. “Can I have one last hug?” _

_ “No,” with that Harry climbed into his car, slamming the door in front of Louis’ face, even with his windows closed as he starts the car he can still hear Louis outside, saying if he needs anything to just give him a ring.  _

_ Harry hurriedly left the driveway, ignoring Louis’ goodbyes and drive safely words, driving fast away from what once was their home.  _

_ \-- _

“Harry!” Harry shakes his head when he heard Niall’s thick accent calling his name. 

Oh shit. 

“You alright?” Niall was driving his car so his attention was to the road rather than Harry. 

Harry didn’t know how long he zoned out but he hates being in this car just from remembering that- fuck, he remembers again, another shitty memory that made tears starts spilling down his eyes and roll down his cheeks.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THOUGHTS????????????????
> 
> I really hope I can update faster for this fic :( sorry guys <33


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone !!! bet you thought i was dead ehehhehee....i'm back<3
> 
> I'm sorry for disappearing work has been so full and to be honest I lost all inspiration for this fic though I had it in mind on how it will end before I started the fic but somehow that ending doesn't seem fitting anymore so we have this one which took me three months to write and erase and write again :) but yay<3
> 
> *UNEDITED*

“Can I please call Louis again?” Harry begged once they were back at the hotel, he’s been crying since he got another flash and according to Louis’ last call, he was still on the road which Harry didn’t want to bother any further because even though he doesn’t remember his accident- he’s scared something will happen to Louis if he calls for the third time that day.

Gemma just sighed. “You can call him tonight. Can we please prepare for the second hearing tomorrow?”

“But-”

Then there was a knock on the door, Zayn was the first to stand up and approach the door because he obviously can’t stand Harry whining anymore. 

Once the door was open to reveal- oh thank all the universe. Louis was standing there, still in his work clothes, hair’s a mess and Zayn sighed in relief when he saw the blue eyed man and so did everyone on the sofa.

A smile crept up Harry’s face as he jumped off of the sofa and ran towards the front door. “You’re here! You’re here!” Harry threw himself on Louis to give him a tight hug. 

The hug was so tight, Louis was sure he will suffocate if Harry doesn’t let go, so he had to be the one to push Harry away a little. “Yeah, I’m here and I also need to breathe, love.” Louis teased, finally getting to see Harry’s face- his eyes were swollen red, obviously he had been crying again, the smile on Louis’ face immediately disappeared.

“Are you alright?” he had to ask when Harry pulled him into their hotel room, Zayn was definitely forgotten by Harry and the fact that he was standing in the front door.

“Did you just got back from work? You must be starving! We have pizza, do you want pizza?” Harry was ignoring the question, for some reason that Louis can’t understand why.

Gemma was the first to stand up from the sofa after Harry. “Okay, yay, he’s here, can you please sit down and listen to me now?”

“You said we will win the case, right? What else do I have to hear?”

“Harry,”

“Gemma,”

“Please just sit down.”

Harry glanced at Louis, he was still holding Louis’ hand, he was also sending Louis a ‘help me’ look as if he doesn’t want to hear whatever Gemma had to say.

“I will after I get Louis some pizza.”

“I’m not hungry,” Louis announced. “And I can get it myself, why don’t we sit down now?”

Upon hearing that, knowing Louis was not on his side right now, Harry frowned and opened his mouth to probably come up with another excuse but Gemma had it. “Can you please just sit down so we can get the trial over with?!”

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Liam was the one to ask. “Don’t you want to get this done with?”

Okay, so Harry was in fact avoiding the trial talk, which- wait, that’s when Louis realized. “There’s going to be another trial?”

The boys looked at each other, they all looked tired- as if they haven’t slept in days (Gemma included) and Louis almost felt bad that they had to stay for the sake of Harry.

“He fainted earlier, not that it really mattered because we were winning but the judge wanted to reschedule to when Harry is conscious.”

Oh fuck- why did no one told him that earlier?! Or was that why they were not answering his texts and calls and when they finally did Louis was already on his way to London and kept telling Harry to call back later.

“What- what happened?”

Harry sighed loudly, again, avoiding the question. “Alright gems, let’s get this over with.”

\--

The good thing about Louis being there was that Harry was not nearly as impossible as he was since he woke up today, but he’s still all moody and clinging to Louis’ side so of course, Louis knows he’s got to go to the bottom of this and figure out what’s wrong.

So after they were done with everything and Harry was once again, clinging to Louis’ side while everyone went to their separate rooms probably to get a break from Harry now that Louis is here...Harry is his problem (not that Louis ever minded that).

Harry gave him the pizza he promised earlier, they sat side by side on the sofa, Louis finally asked.

“Hey love,” He said, calmly, Harry’s eyes were glued to the telly though half of his body was on top of Louis’. “Are you alright? You’re acting...funny.”

Harry hummed, slowly turning to face Louis. “Nothing’s up.”

“You fainted today.”

“Oh, that.” Harry huffed. “Was probably stressed, and I remembered something about Dean. that was bad, but-”

“Shit. did it triggered you?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t finished.”

Right.

“Of course. Please, continue.”

Harry sighed. “But I know I’m safe now it’s just...had another flashback…”

Louis raised one of his brows. “...And?”

“And it was when I left home.” he cleared his throat. “Our home.”

For a second, Louis was hoping it was when Harry was leaving Dean’s home- the night he got into that accident. 

But shit.

That was one of the worst days of Louis’ life, when Harry left for good. The last time he saw Harry before the accident. The first day he realized he had lost Harry forever- not that he was right now that everything had happened.

“Oh.”

“I’m so-”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Louis cuts him off because he already knows what Harry’s going to say.

Harry shakes his head. “No, but what I did was stupid and-”

“And you were just trying to chase your dreams, you didn’t know better and at that time you’d do anything to reach your goals and no one can blame you for that. Not even me and not even yourself.”

Harry opened his mouth to argue back but close his mouth again, sighing.

“I think everything after that day was shit.” He told Louis. “I wish I could stop having flashes all together.”

Louis wishes the same. Harry’s already traumatized enough the last two weeks he lived with Dean. he doesn’t want Harry to remember what’s forgotten about Dean.

But Louis tried to change the subject.

“So, what’s your plan for after the trial is over?”

Harry shrugged. “Not sure yet.”

“Are you thinking about going home?” Louis asked, gulping before adding. “With me?”

That put a smile on Harry’s face -thank god- “I mean...if you want me to.”

“I’d love for you to,” Louis sighed in relief.

\--

The next day, the trial was less tense due to the fact that Louis’ there for him.

Gemma felt more powerful than she did everyday, going on about Dean and Harry’s marriage- which was non-existent, they got it out of him. Well, Gemma did.

“We were both drunk,” Dean said, lightly. “I didn’t even know it wasn’t legal until recently and I thought it doesn’t really matter anymore. We’re married by heart.” he turned to Harry and gave him a wink. Harry looked away.

How is he confident when he already knows he’s at fault here?!

“So you  _ knew  _ you two weren’t legally married and never told Harry?”

Dean’s eyes widen at the question. “Well- I did told him but he probably doesn’t remember.”

“Well how recent is this news to you?”

“A few months back. Before Harry’s accident.” he’s a good liar.

“Right, so does it occur to you that maybe Harry was trying to run away from you that night?” But Gemma was good at reading liars.

The trial goes on and on and they knew they were winning. Of course they were. So after time after time and Harry managed to stay focused. He was finally reliefed.

“Dean Andrews, I hereby sentence you 20 years in prison for domestic abuse and rape.”

That’s it. Harry’s free.

He was free before but now he’s really free.

Twenty years that’s almost a lifetime. Maybe he won’t even survive another twenty years. Not in there, at least.

And for once since the accident.

Everything felt right.

\--

“So, what’s your plan?” Niall asked when they were packing to leave the hotel, two days after the trial was final. “Gonna go back on your Youtube channel? Go back to school? Get a job?”

Harry shrugged. “Was thinking of clearing my head for awhile.” and then he adds. “I mean my head’s pretty clear since the accident but yeah.”

“Don’t joke about that.” Louis sighed though Niall laughed. “You can clear your head as long as you need to.”

Liam glances between the two. “So, you’re going back with Louis then?”

“Where else will I go?” Harry smiled, reaching for Louis’ hand.

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Are you two a thing again then?”

“We’re working it out.” Louis said it like it wasn’t a big deal. And it truly wasn’t. Their relationship is not Harry’s number one concern right now, his future is.

Liam nods once. “Well, okay, I’m just glad to know you have a place to go to and it’s with someone we can all trust.” He gives Harry a comforting smile before he leans in to hug the curly haired man. “Take good care of yourself.” then he adds. “And Louis too,”

“Of course,” Harry told him when he pulled away.

It’s a nice feeling. To know he’s going home with Louis and this time no one is out there looking for him. And to know the person abusing him for months after months even after he lost his memories, is safely behind bars. Harry felt safe.

\--

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and before he knows it, it’s been a good three months with Louis and Harry back in their house and Louis continuing his daily lives at work while as Harry stay home, get himself all better and while doing so he’s also back on his youtube account, uploading new content and tried to ignore as many offers as he can. Not because he doesn’t want them, but because he wasn’t ready.

Their relationship, on the other hand was the last thing in their mind though they basically would give each other kisses, hold hands when they’re out and even share a bed but there was still no conversation about where this is going, since it was not in their mind as for right now. 

Anyway, it was a Friday night when Louis went home and found Harry on the dinner table, typing away on his laptop, too focused to notice the fact that Louis just entered their house.

“Hey,” Louis greeted, Harry immediately looked up and smile.

Going back to their little habits was somehow hard for Louis at the beginning but at this point he’s confident to come up to Harry and give him a kiss on his forehead or cheek, Harry always fluster from the action. However, making love was not in their minds right now. (Or maybe it is, they’re just not ready to talk about it yet)

The good news is, Harry had an examine test right after they came back from London and it was safe to say all the tests came back negative. Harry never felt more relieved.

“Hi,” Harry smiled, slowly standing up. Harry didn’t cook dinner tonight, most nights he would ‘cause he feels like it’s the only way he can repay Louis’ kindness though Louis had told him a million times it’s okay not to.

So Louis didn’t question why there was no food on the table, he thought Harry probably had eaten something earlier.

“You seem quite distracted, what are you up to?” Louis asked, sitting next to Harry on the dining table.

Harry shrugged, sliding his laptop towards Louis. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this but…yeah.”

Louis’ eyes scanned the writing on his laptop, studying every words and lines and oh fuck.

“Leeds festival,” Louis said out loud, it almost hard to believe unless he said it out loud. “They want you to play at their festival? Leeds festival?!”

Harry smiled, his dimples popping while he nods. “I know, right? What do I do?!”

“What do you mean what do you do?” Louis laughs, his fingers went to tuck Harry’s curls behind his ear. Now, that’s a habit he can’t break no matter how hard he tries. “Do you want to do it?”

Harry nods again, slower this time. “I do, I really do- I only have two original songs up on Youtube, they will probably make me do five songs or something.”

“And?”

“I just never performed live is all.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything Harry.” Louis took his hands then, squeezing them tight. “If you’re up for it then go for it, yeah? You’ll be fine, I can assure you of that.”

He knows Louis’ right, and he can’t stay behind his laptop screen forever when all he ever wanted to do was to go big.

“Okay, maybe I’ll go for it.”

Louis leaned down to kiss Harry’s knuckles. “I’m so proud of you.”

Harry’s heart fluttered though he heard Louis said it a million times, mostly every day, even just for the littlest things, it still makes Harry’s heart jumped out of his chest every time Louis says it.

After a good thirty seconds of silent, Louis decided to stand up. “I think I’ll hit the showers, I’ll see you upstairs, yeah?”

Harry shakes his head, finally remembering what he had in mind before he received the email.

“Wait, Lou.” Harry stood up too, the blue eyed man stopped in his track and turn to face Harry again. He looks so gorgeous right now with messy hair and rolled up sleeve. “Have you eaten yet? Uh, I was wondering if you want to go to that pasta place with me…” then he adds. “It’s date night, innit?”

Louis chuckled, taking a step closer towards Harry. “Is it, really?”

“I mean we could stay home, fry some nuggets and watch a movie.” Harry grinned. “Or we can get some pasta before we go skinny dipping in the lake- it’s been a while.”

Louis agrees. “It has, indeed.”

“So?”

Louis hummed, obviously just playing with Harry. “I mean nuggets and a movie sounds okay-“

“Please,” Harry whined, already walking around the table then threw himself at Louis. The older man didn’t complain about Harry’s action, in fact he pulled Harry for a closer hug.

Louis snorted. “Okay, pasta and skinny dip it is!”

Everything was nice and perfect as for right now.

Things are great, it’s been fine and dandy and the universe is finally on his side. Louis was also on his side. That was all that matters to Harry.

Harry never regained all of his lost memory back, some may come in flashes or in dreams like it usually do and who knows if Harry will ever remember it all?

But that doesn’t matter anymore.

The past doesn’t matter anymore.

Harry only looks forward now, trying to distract himself from another flash, from another memory he doesn’t need. He rather focused on the good things approaching him.

It will. He can already feel it coming.

Because for once, everything feels alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.......what do you think of the story so far? 
> 
> sorry for the rushy ending :( please don't hate me <3
> 
> I have a million other fics saved with me but idk if i will post fics anymore since I never have time and I don't want to disappoint anyone with more unfinished work :(  
> BUT I might come back with another story soon idk ahahaha...if you have prompts for sad fics though hit me up :D I also have a lot of mpreg fics in my docs that I /might/ post but idk...let me know if you want to read more of my shitty fics ahaha
> 
> I love you all, this fic has truly been a journey I remember in June when I was sad all the time, I'd stay up till the morning to write this fic and now suddenly it's December and I'm a happy baby and almost forgot about this fic...well, that's unimportant lmao :)
> 
> Thank you for reading x   
> -Sylvia.


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